Writing sample.
I've gotten several people asking me about my book. I'm not sure you're even going to want to read it. You may hate the way I write. So, in a solution to this, I am posting some writing samples in this post. If you like it, let me know and I will add you to a writing filter. If you want to be able to read my entries about writing this would be the place to let me know! I plan on doing it a lot more now than I used to. John made writing no fun. He is not around anymore to be a buzz kill, so I'm starting up again.
Writing disclaimer: Everything written for NaNo was written quick and dirty. There has been no editing at all: you're reading it just how I wrote it. So no freaking out because it isn't the most polished thing in the world :-P
Start Sample One
If she were still alive she’d have quite a headache right about now. Chloroform leaves its victim with a blinding headache, unless of course it’s used on someone who doesn’t need to breathe. “Man, I really don’t think the body is supposed to be that cold. I mean I know you said the body temperature would drop… but this can’t be good…” The lackey’s ramble was just part of the background noise that August had to ignore. Her timing on this attack had to be perfect or else not even she could get herself out of this situation.
“Just shut up and give me a hand with this,” the man muttered under his breath indicating to August’s seemingly unconscious body. The two men managed to walk the limp body from the car into the entrance of the club without much suspension from a bystander that something could be amiss. From the outside the club did not appear to be what it was but instead an old office complex that had seen better days. After entering the building the men switched from carrying to dragging the body across the dimly lit club into a backroom used for the darker dealings of the club’s already dark purpose and placed it into one of the over sized dark red chairs. The men were visibly shaken by the remains of the room’s last occupant. August on the other hand dealt and caused similar states to those that were unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of her expertise. The two men left the room to go in search of their boss which gave August a few minutes to scan the room. The décor was one that was not arranged to make the guest feel comfortable. The metal floors did not match the old wood and leather furniture but they did however match the various metal devices on the walls whose shine was not dampened by blood that though had been cleaned off the smell still lingered. The room only had one door which would make her escape a little more difficult than she had anticipated. “She’s real pretty boss.” One of her previous attackers commented to the man in the suit as the door swung open - company was back. August removed the knives that were strapped to her calves as the large door clicked shut. Before the two hoodlums could react August launched her knives through their respective skulls causing their lifeless bodies to slump to the floor. The man in the suit hissed slightly.
“You should teach your boys the difference between a living person and a dead person before you send them out to get you dinner,” August smirked.
End Sample One--that was as far as I got with that before it was made to be no fun. I loved August. I wrote more than one story about her. Maybe I'll give her another chance now.
Start Sample Two
“TOBIAS!” I screamed at him. “I can tell you know what that is and so do I. We need to get out of here now.” The quickness of his movements caught me off guard. He was definitely not human. It did not really matter, Shades did not care who or what you were as long as you had supernatural energies.
“I would love to leave you to die witch, but I do not know nearly enough about those things to have a hope of surviving the next few minutes without you.” His voice was full of venom. There was no time to wonder what had happened to make him hate me so much. He grabbed a link in the steel and ripped it in half. Before I could process the movement my bonds were on the floor. I collapsed to the ground momentarily attempting to take in my surroundings. I hadn’t realized how weak I was feeling. I guessed being chained up had not helped with the collecting of normal following energies. As soon as I could stand without feeling like I was going to fall over again I reached out with my mind to probe my companion. The first thing that hit me, and quite strongly, was the energy of Shades. A small scream escaped my throat before I could silence it. They could get into my energy just as easily as I could get into the energies of those around me. I had made a very dumb mistake. The Shade tried to force itself into my energy center, something that felt like fire and ice simultaneously being forced into every facet of my being. Tobias grabbed my arm harshly.
“What is wrong with you?” He demanded.
“They’re trying to get into my…” Another scream cut off my response. I had to shut myself down or else they would kill me before this creature got the chance.
End Sample Two--- early part of my novel (read here, rough, rough rough draft). Half of this is contradicted by what happens later, I'm going to have to fix it all.
Start Sample Three
"That is not the problem. The problem is I do not know why I am considering getting into this fight with her. What is it about you that has me questioning... everything I know?"
“You just are not used to being around someone as attractive as me.” He had the cockiest grin on his face, I could not help smack him upside the head with the pillow I was leaning against.
“That must be it.” I said as he grabbed the pillow and tossed it at my head. I snatched it out of the air and rested my head upon it. He laughed and scooted up to the point where he was sitting next to me. He leaned back against the pillows that were still on the bed and resumed watching the news. I leaned over and switched on the light at the bedside table. "Since we are both up we might as well have some light."
"I thought you had good night vision."
"I do, that does not make it better than my normal vision though." I laughed and got off the bed. He was so much fun to be around. It was such a different atmosphere than my homes usually were. I bounced off the bed and went to inspect the damage I had done on my hair by ignoring it while it dried. I was running my hands through it when I looked back at Tobias. I expected him to be watching the news but his face was not pointed towards the television. He was looking at me. I mean, he was really looking at me. I blushed. It was not something I was used to. I caught his eyes. There would have been a long silent moment but neither of us were speaking to begin with. The television was on though apparently he had abandoned watching it. I put my hands on the dresser and continued watching his eyes. What was he seeing in me? No one had ever looked at me like that before. I was something to be protected or I was a threat. I was something to be trained or I was a trainer. He was looking at me, not like I was dinner as some males had in the past, but like I was a person. He was looking at me and for the first time I felt like someone was seeing me not the image that they were expected to associated with me. I was a person. A person that one could foreseeable be used to spending lots of time with. A person that was not expected to do anything but be here for them. Or maybe I was reading something in his eyes that was not there to begin with. Maybe I was projecting something into them that I had wanted to see. That was when it hit me. The reason I was so willing to disobey and possibly be disowned for the person I had just met. It was completely insane and went against every bit of training and life experience I had ever had. But just like in the fairy tales and movies that I was never allowed to watch or hear, I was falling for him if I had not already fallen. The man that was off limits just like Romeo to Juliet. I was falling for him. The realization hit me hard and I stumbled back from the dressor and onto the floor. It was rather ungraceful of me. He was taken by my sudden movement as distress or as some kind of problem.
"Ari," he was instantly at my side, "are you alright?" He lifted my chin to look into his eyes as if to check if I was lying. I did not know what to say. I did not know where my actions came from, they just happened. I leaned in and kissed him. I had never kissed anyone before in my life. There was not time for that sort of thing when you were the daughter of a woman who was trying to save the world. It was a quick kiss, clearly unplanned and unanticipated by either of us. I released him as soon as I realized my actions. He however was not so quick to let me go. His eyes never left mine as he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me from the floor to the bed next to him. He leaned and kissed me with the same amount of hesitation but certainly more force. This time, it was I that was shocked. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my fingers through his short hair. This was what a kiss felt like. Then the reality of the situation hit me. I was kissing Tobias. I was kissing the man that I had known for less than a week. I was kissing the man who... No those things did not matter right this minute. What mattered right this minute was that he was kissing me back.
After a minute neither one of us was breathing correctly. I put my hands on his chest in effort to push him away just far enough that we would not be tempted by such actions again until after I had figured out why they had happened the first time. "I.." I did not know what to say. Retreating into my own head did not seem like a suitable reaction since I had now involved him with my actions. I did not want to hurt him. I did not want to push him away. So instead, I did not say anything. I rested my head on his shoulder lightly. He pulled me against his chest. I was filled with a feeling of determination. Even if I did not know how right this minute, everything was going to work out. I wondered if the feelings were coming form me or if they were coming from him. I know he said that sometimes he lost control of his abilities when there were strong emotions involved. Of course I did not know if there were strong emotions involved for him I only knew what I felt. I felt a connection to him that had been escaping me my entire life. It was like everything else that I had known was of secondary importance. The focus of my life was now being with him. I needed to find out what he was thinking before I continued to commit myself to him. I did not know how to form the words. The sun had raised by the time either one of us spoke.
"Ari, I think we should talk about this." I let out the breath that I had been holding. He did not sound annoyed. But did he sound like he was about to pour his heart out to me. I did not know what that would sound like since it was not a conversation I had ever had before.
"When did I start falling for you?" I asked. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I realized how dumb they sounded.
"Probably after I started falling for you." He raised my head from his shoulder just enough that I could see his eyes. "I knew there was something different about you from the first time I saw you."
"You mean when you had me chained up in my mother’s office?" There was humor, not anger in my voice. I hoped he would realize the joke instead of jumping to the obvious conclusion of anger. He smiled and swept a stray hair out of my face.
"Ari, darling, that was far from the first time I saw you."
End Sample Three--- I really like that scene, though it is still pretty rough
ETA: Everyone seems to like the third one the best. If you just are going to read one, read that one!
Writing disclaimer: Everything written for NaNo was written quick and dirty. There has been no editing at all: you're reading it just how I wrote it. So no freaking out because it isn't the most polished thing in the world :-P
Start Sample One
If she were still alive she’d have quite a headache right about now. Chloroform leaves its victim with a blinding headache, unless of course it’s used on someone who doesn’t need to breathe. “Man, I really don’t think the body is supposed to be that cold. I mean I know you said the body temperature would drop… but this can’t be good…” The lackey’s ramble was just part of the background noise that August had to ignore. Her timing on this attack had to be perfect or else not even she could get herself out of this situation.
“Just shut up and give me a hand with this,” the man muttered under his breath indicating to August’s seemingly unconscious body. The two men managed to walk the limp body from the car into the entrance of the club without much suspension from a bystander that something could be amiss. From the outside the club did not appear to be what it was but instead an old office complex that had seen better days. After entering the building the men switched from carrying to dragging the body across the dimly lit club into a backroom used for the darker dealings of the club’s already dark purpose and placed it into one of the over sized dark red chairs. The men were visibly shaken by the remains of the room’s last occupant. August on the other hand dealt and caused similar states to those that were unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of her expertise. The two men left the room to go in search of their boss which gave August a few minutes to scan the room. The décor was one that was not arranged to make the guest feel comfortable. The metal floors did not match the old wood and leather furniture but they did however match the various metal devices on the walls whose shine was not dampened by blood that though had been cleaned off the smell still lingered. The room only had one door which would make her escape a little more difficult than she had anticipated. “She’s real pretty boss.” One of her previous attackers commented to the man in the suit as the door swung open - company was back. August removed the knives that were strapped to her calves as the large door clicked shut. Before the two hoodlums could react August launched her knives through their respective skulls causing their lifeless bodies to slump to the floor. The man in the suit hissed slightly.
“You should teach your boys the difference between a living person and a dead person before you send them out to get you dinner,” August smirked.
End Sample One--that was as far as I got with that before it was made to be no fun. I loved August. I wrote more than one story about her. Maybe I'll give her another chance now.
Start Sample Two
“TOBIAS!” I screamed at him. “I can tell you know what that is and so do I. We need to get out of here now.” The quickness of his movements caught me off guard. He was definitely not human. It did not really matter, Shades did not care who or what you were as long as you had supernatural energies.
“I would love to leave you to die witch, but I do not know nearly enough about those things to have a hope of surviving the next few minutes without you.” His voice was full of venom. There was no time to wonder what had happened to make him hate me so much. He grabbed a link in the steel and ripped it in half. Before I could process the movement my bonds were on the floor. I collapsed to the ground momentarily attempting to take in my surroundings. I hadn’t realized how weak I was feeling. I guessed being chained up had not helped with the collecting of normal following energies. As soon as I could stand without feeling like I was going to fall over again I reached out with my mind to probe my companion. The first thing that hit me, and quite strongly, was the energy of Shades. A small scream escaped my throat before I could silence it. They could get into my energy just as easily as I could get into the energies of those around me. I had made a very dumb mistake. The Shade tried to force itself into my energy center, something that felt like fire and ice simultaneously being forced into every facet of my being. Tobias grabbed my arm harshly.
“What is wrong with you?” He demanded.
“They’re trying to get into my…” Another scream cut off my response. I had to shut myself down or else they would kill me before this creature got the chance.
End Sample Two--- early part of my novel (read here, rough, rough rough draft). Half of this is contradicted by what happens later, I'm going to have to fix it all.
Start Sample Three
"That is not the problem. The problem is I do not know why I am considering getting into this fight with her. What is it about you that has me questioning... everything I know?"
“You just are not used to being around someone as attractive as me.” He had the cockiest grin on his face, I could not help smack him upside the head with the pillow I was leaning against.
“That must be it.” I said as he grabbed the pillow and tossed it at my head. I snatched it out of the air and rested my head upon it. He laughed and scooted up to the point where he was sitting next to me. He leaned back against the pillows that were still on the bed and resumed watching the news. I leaned over and switched on the light at the bedside table. "Since we are both up we might as well have some light."
"I thought you had good night vision."
"I do, that does not make it better than my normal vision though." I laughed and got off the bed. He was so much fun to be around. It was such a different atmosphere than my homes usually were. I bounced off the bed and went to inspect the damage I had done on my hair by ignoring it while it dried. I was running my hands through it when I looked back at Tobias. I expected him to be watching the news but his face was not pointed towards the television. He was looking at me. I mean, he was really looking at me. I blushed. It was not something I was used to. I caught his eyes. There would have been a long silent moment but neither of us were speaking to begin with. The television was on though apparently he had abandoned watching it. I put my hands on the dresser and continued watching his eyes. What was he seeing in me? No one had ever looked at me like that before. I was something to be protected or I was a threat. I was something to be trained or I was a trainer. He was looking at me, not like I was dinner as some males had in the past, but like I was a person. He was looking at me and for the first time I felt like someone was seeing me not the image that they were expected to associated with me. I was a person. A person that one could foreseeable be used to spending lots of time with. A person that was not expected to do anything but be here for them. Or maybe I was reading something in his eyes that was not there to begin with. Maybe I was projecting something into them that I had wanted to see. That was when it hit me. The reason I was so willing to disobey and possibly be disowned for the person I had just met. It was completely insane and went against every bit of training and life experience I had ever had. But just like in the fairy tales and movies that I was never allowed to watch or hear, I was falling for him if I had not already fallen. The man that was off limits just like Romeo to Juliet. I was falling for him. The realization hit me hard and I stumbled back from the dressor and onto the floor. It was rather ungraceful of me. He was taken by my sudden movement as distress or as some kind of problem.
"Ari," he was instantly at my side, "are you alright?" He lifted my chin to look into his eyes as if to check if I was lying. I did not know what to say. I did not know where my actions came from, they just happened. I leaned in and kissed him. I had never kissed anyone before in my life. There was not time for that sort of thing when you were the daughter of a woman who was trying to save the world. It was a quick kiss, clearly unplanned and unanticipated by either of us. I released him as soon as I realized my actions. He however was not so quick to let me go. His eyes never left mine as he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me from the floor to the bed next to him. He leaned and kissed me with the same amount of hesitation but certainly more force. This time, it was I that was shocked. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my fingers through his short hair. This was what a kiss felt like. Then the reality of the situation hit me. I was kissing Tobias. I was kissing the man that I had known for less than a week. I was kissing the man who... No those things did not matter right this minute. What mattered right this minute was that he was kissing me back.
After a minute neither one of us was breathing correctly. I put my hands on his chest in effort to push him away just far enough that we would not be tempted by such actions again until after I had figured out why they had happened the first time. "I.." I did not know what to say. Retreating into my own head did not seem like a suitable reaction since I had now involved him with my actions. I did not want to hurt him. I did not want to push him away. So instead, I did not say anything. I rested my head on his shoulder lightly. He pulled me against his chest. I was filled with a feeling of determination. Even if I did not know how right this minute, everything was going to work out. I wondered if the feelings were coming form me or if they were coming from him. I know he said that sometimes he lost control of his abilities when there were strong emotions involved. Of course I did not know if there were strong emotions involved for him I only knew what I felt. I felt a connection to him that had been escaping me my entire life. It was like everything else that I had known was of secondary importance. The focus of my life was now being with him. I needed to find out what he was thinking before I continued to commit myself to him. I did not know how to form the words. The sun had raised by the time either one of us spoke.
"Ari, I think we should talk about this." I let out the breath that I had been holding. He did not sound annoyed. But did he sound like he was about to pour his heart out to me. I did not know what that would sound like since it was not a conversation I had ever had before.
"When did I start falling for you?" I asked. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I realized how dumb they sounded.
"Probably after I started falling for you." He raised my head from his shoulder just enough that I could see his eyes. "I knew there was something different about you from the first time I saw you."
"You mean when you had me chained up in my mother’s office?" There was humor, not anger in my voice. I hoped he would realize the joke instead of jumping to the obvious conclusion of anger. He smiled and swept a stray hair out of my face.
"Ari, darling, that was far from the first time I saw you."
End Sample Three--- I really like that scene, though it is still pretty rough
ETA: Everyone seems to like the third one the best. If you just are going to read one, read that one!