muses_w_remotes | 2.19 Bring It On quote
2.19. "I understand you have underwear up your ass right now, but it beats the hell out of a shattered skull. Think about it."
| Bring It On
Riley held himself up on the door jamb as he blinked stupidly at his best mate standing there… his best mate that was supposed to be a patient in the Intensive Care Unit. “What the…?” he trailed off. Lachlan would have no problems filling in the gaps.
“It doesnae matter,” Lachlan replied, tucking his hand under Riley’s elbow. “Arenae you going to offer a lad seat? It’s nay a bet who falls on their arse first. Come on. We’re going to talk.” He didn’t wait to be invited in. He just ushered Riley into the apartment and pulled him down on the sofa beside him, breathless from being upright after spending over a week in hospital. He stretched out and pushed his palm against the side of his stomach. A few bursts of pain pulsed through his wound site, but he mostly ignored it, his eyes intent on Riley instead.
Riley frowned. “You look like shit.”
“Aye, likewise. I love you too, buddy,” Lachlan returned with a slight grit of his teeth as the pain worked to subside. “Dinnae you go worrying about things like why I’m discharged. It’s legit. I’m supposed to be home in bed. And I will be as soon as we talk.”
Riley pushed the heel of his hand against his eye. “Talking isn’t going to take away what happened, is it?” he mumbled.
“Nope. I learnt that the hard way,” Lachlan told him gently. “Nothing is going to take it away, Ri. It happened. It was fucked up that it happened, but believe me when I say this... It sucks. You feel like shit. You’re going to feel like shit for some time yet. You’re going to be scared shitless. You’re going to wish it wasnae you. You’re going to wish it was anyone but you. You’re going to feel guilty. You’re going to feel sorry for yourself. You’re going to be so fucking angry that you want to smash something. You’re going to hurt so much that you’ll feel like you nay ever want to get out of bed. Some days you won’t get out of bed because it’s too much.” He paused and rested his hand on Riley’s knee. “But you’re alive, aye? That’s something you need to remember and hang on to. And you also need to remember that you have a bunch of us that love the hell out of you and want to help you. Dinnae…” he hesitated again and sighed, “dinnae push them away. Let them take the reigns when you cannae.”
Riley listened to every word coming out of his friend’s mouth with a small, intent frown. The accent was thick and broad, but the tone soft and unassuming. But there was a desperation in Lachlan’s eyes; a plea for his knowing words to be taken on board. Wise words spoken from the most painful of experiences. Riley realised if anyone knew exactly how he was feeling, it would be Lachlan. “Not even to protect them?” he asked quietly.
“Especially then,” Lachlan murmured and closed his eyes briefly. “Because shutting them out is not protecting them. I learnt that… the very hard way. And I hurt Tara in the process when I promised I wouldnae.” He met Riley’s eyes. “Listen, buddy, if the worst comes, it’s going to be okay. There is medication, there are processes. It’s nay going to be easy, but you learn to deal. I’m nay ever going to be the same again and my life is nay ever going to be the same, but it doesnae mean it has to suck. Its times like this you realise life is just too fucking short, buddy. Dinnae let it pass you by, no matter what your lot is. This past six months have been the best and worst of my life. But I could’ve given up. I wanted to give up. When I woke up from the coma and the pain was excruciating… morphine wasnae working. I plead with Chase to end it for me. Begged him. I didnae think I was ever going to feel good again. It’s the choice you have to make. Let it break you or let it make the next part of your life what you want it to be.”
Riley was close to tears as he wrung his hands together and looked at the floor. “How you can be so positive?! You were in cardiac arrest a fucking week ago!” he cried. “Why aren’t you angry? Why aren’t you scared? Why don’t you want to just… just…” He threw up his hand, frustrated when the right words wouldn’t come.
“Some days I am,” Lachlan admitted calmly. “But I know it doesnae really get me anywhere but exhausted. The absolute swirl of mixed thoughts and emotions can leave you feeling like you’ve been caught in a tornado and come out the end standing in the middle of the wrecked debris.”
Riley blinked back the tears and hugged himself. “Yeah, that’s how I feel, I guess,” he mumbled. “But at the same time, I don’t want to inflict that on anyone and drag them down with me. I feel like a burden. I’m already in the way of Tab and what she has going on with her stuff. She told this guy she’s known for ages she loves him and now I feel like I’m just in her way, forcing her to be here when she has other shit to get on with. She’s going home tomorrow. Better for her that way.”
Lachlan suddenly grabbed Riley’s hand and squeezed it almost to the point of pain, his thick wedding band digging into Riley’s palm. “Stop it,” he said quietly, eyes meeting Riley’s. “Dinnae, buddy. It’s destructive. If you need her, tell her you need her. You cannae do this alone. If you need anyone, tell them.”
Riley looked at Lachlan for a long few moments and then gave a slight nod. “Same goes, man,” he said in tiny voice, grateful for his friend’s presence.
“Hey, you cannae get rid of me that easily,” Lachlan assured him with a smile and another confirming squeeze of his hand. “I’m like that stray sock that keeps turning up in your wash and no matter where you shove it, always ends up back in your clothes pile.”
Riley couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Ready and waiting with a pint to get your mate pissed with.”
Lachlan smirked and held up his hand. “I’m a changed man. Nay had a drink in six months,” he revealed.
“You haven’t changed where it counts, Lachie,” Riley murmured. “Thank fuck.”
- Co-written with drcampbell
- asinthecity, doctortara & chasemd referenced with permission
Words | 1,101
| Bring It On
Riley held himself up on the door jamb as he blinked stupidly at his best mate standing there… his best mate that was supposed to be a patient in the Intensive Care Unit. “What the…?” he trailed off. Lachlan would have no problems filling in the gaps.
“It doesnae matter,” Lachlan replied, tucking his hand under Riley’s elbow. “Arenae you going to offer a lad seat? It’s nay a bet who falls on their arse first. Come on. We’re going to talk.” He didn’t wait to be invited in. He just ushered Riley into the apartment and pulled him down on the sofa beside him, breathless from being upright after spending over a week in hospital. He stretched out and pushed his palm against the side of his stomach. A few bursts of pain pulsed through his wound site, but he mostly ignored it, his eyes intent on Riley instead.
Riley frowned. “You look like shit.”
“Aye, likewise. I love you too, buddy,” Lachlan returned with a slight grit of his teeth as the pain worked to subside. “Dinnae you go worrying about things like why I’m discharged. It’s legit. I’m supposed to be home in bed. And I will be as soon as we talk.”
Riley pushed the heel of his hand against his eye. “Talking isn’t going to take away what happened, is it?” he mumbled.
“Nope. I learnt that the hard way,” Lachlan told him gently. “Nothing is going to take it away, Ri. It happened. It was fucked up that it happened, but believe me when I say this... It sucks. You feel like shit. You’re going to feel like shit for some time yet. You’re going to be scared shitless. You’re going to wish it wasnae you. You’re going to wish it was anyone but you. You’re going to feel guilty. You’re going to feel sorry for yourself. You’re going to be so fucking angry that you want to smash something. You’re going to hurt so much that you’ll feel like you nay ever want to get out of bed. Some days you won’t get out of bed because it’s too much.” He paused and rested his hand on Riley’s knee. “But you’re alive, aye? That’s something you need to remember and hang on to. And you also need to remember that you have a bunch of us that love the hell out of you and want to help you. Dinnae…” he hesitated again and sighed, “dinnae push them away. Let them take the reigns when you cannae.”
Riley listened to every word coming out of his friend’s mouth with a small, intent frown. The accent was thick and broad, but the tone soft and unassuming. But there was a desperation in Lachlan’s eyes; a plea for his knowing words to be taken on board. Wise words spoken from the most painful of experiences. Riley realised if anyone knew exactly how he was feeling, it would be Lachlan. “Not even to protect them?” he asked quietly.
“Especially then,” Lachlan murmured and closed his eyes briefly. “Because shutting them out is not protecting them. I learnt that… the very hard way. And I hurt Tara in the process when I promised I wouldnae.” He met Riley’s eyes. “Listen, buddy, if the worst comes, it’s going to be okay. There is medication, there are processes. It’s nay going to be easy, but you learn to deal. I’m nay ever going to be the same again and my life is nay ever going to be the same, but it doesnae mean it has to suck. Its times like this you realise life is just too fucking short, buddy. Dinnae let it pass you by, no matter what your lot is. This past six months have been the best and worst of my life. But I could’ve given up. I wanted to give up. When I woke up from the coma and the pain was excruciating… morphine wasnae working. I plead with Chase to end it for me. Begged him. I didnae think I was ever going to feel good again. It’s the choice you have to make. Let it break you or let it make the next part of your life what you want it to be.”
Riley was close to tears as he wrung his hands together and looked at the floor. “How you can be so positive?! You were in cardiac arrest a fucking week ago!” he cried. “Why aren’t you angry? Why aren’t you scared? Why don’t you want to just… just…” He threw up his hand, frustrated when the right words wouldn’t come.
“Some days I am,” Lachlan admitted calmly. “But I know it doesnae really get me anywhere but exhausted. The absolute swirl of mixed thoughts and emotions can leave you feeling like you’ve been caught in a tornado and come out the end standing in the middle of the wrecked debris.”
Riley blinked back the tears and hugged himself. “Yeah, that’s how I feel, I guess,” he mumbled. “But at the same time, I don’t want to inflict that on anyone and drag them down with me. I feel like a burden. I’m already in the way of Tab and what she has going on with her stuff. She told this guy she’s known for ages she loves him and now I feel like I’m just in her way, forcing her to be here when she has other shit to get on with. She’s going home tomorrow. Better for her that way.”
Lachlan suddenly grabbed Riley’s hand and squeezed it almost to the point of pain, his thick wedding band digging into Riley’s palm. “Stop it,” he said quietly, eyes meeting Riley’s. “Dinnae, buddy. It’s destructive. If you need her, tell her you need her. You cannae do this alone. If you need anyone, tell them.”
Riley looked at Lachlan for a long few moments and then gave a slight nod. “Same goes, man,” he said in tiny voice, grateful for his friend’s presence.
“Hey, you cannae get rid of me that easily,” Lachlan assured him with a smile and another confirming squeeze of his hand. “I’m like that stray sock that keeps turning up in your wash and no matter where you shove it, always ends up back in your clothes pile.”
Riley couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Ready and waiting with a pint to get your mate pissed with.”
Lachlan smirked and held up his hand. “I’m a changed man. Nay had a drink in six months,” he revealed.
“You haven’t changed where it counts, Lachie,” Riley murmured. “Thank fuck.”
- Co-written with drcampbell
- asinthecity, doctortara & chasemd referenced with permission
Words | 1,101