muse_shuffle | November Disc One
Track 01. I didn't know you, I never knew you // Now I'm never gonna see you again.
(Augie March - ‘Farmer’s Son’)
Riley never really made it a habit of going out shopping in New York City. He’d never been fond of the pace of it, but it was Evie’s birthday in a few weeks time and he thought he’d try and find her something in New York while they were in the city for Halloween rather than leaving it all until the last minute. Evie had plans to spend the day with Jules and although they’d offered for him to tag along, he’d hastily declined. He also didn’t want to crash in on Tab again because she’d been talking extensively about doing Luke repeatedly and that was as good excuse as any for Riley to make himself pointedly scarce. Plus, in the wake of his conversation with his twin at the Halloween party, he had decided it was more than time to start getting used to not having her around. She had always been his first port of call when something was wrong, even when he was in Scotland, and often that was all he needed to stop himself freaking out over something. That couldn’t be anymore. Time to suck it up and deal so she was free do what she had always wanted to. He had other people to rely on. Evie was there plus Lachlan, Tara and Pat would always help him when he needed it. It was going to be fine. Tab had made a passing comment about Luke just having to be the one to step into her shoes when she was away, but Riley didn’t have the heart to actually tell her it was unlikely he’d have much need to be anywhere near Luke if she wasn’t around.
He was again lost in his own thoughts as he hastily stepped from a gift shop that carried gifts that he wouldn’t give his worst enemy let alone his girlfriend, when he heard a man’s voice calling his name to get his attention. He turned in the direction it was coming from and felt his stomach jumped up into his throat when he realised it was his father. Not wanting to get trampled by the busy rush of people bustling up the sidewalk, he stepped over to the curb and waited for his father to reach him. “Dad,” he said hesitantly. “Hey.” The memory of the last time he had seen his father replayed in his mind and it just made him feel sick. He dipped his head and looked down at his shoes for a moment, unable to shake the awkwardness of the unexpected meeting.
“I wasn’t sure that was even you for a moment,” Mr Browne admitted. “You look much better than you did when I last saw you.” There was a pause and Riley wondered if he father was contemplating hugging him, but the gesture didn’t come and he was actually relieved of the fact. “How are you, son? How’s Tabitha?”
“Yeah, um, to be fair, last time I’d just been told I was HIV Positive. Not exactly conducive to being bright eyed and bushy tailed,” Riley said bitterly without making an attempt to hide it in his tone. “All those phones calls in the last month checking how I am were overwhelming. You’d think I was your only son or something.”
Mr Browne closed his eyes briefly with a small sigh. He met his son’s eyes and gestured to a nearby coffee shop. “Will you let me buy you a coffee, son? We can talk. Truthfully, I didn’t think you would want to hear from me after what your mother said.”
“She’s got you by the balls, Dad! Goddamnit!” Riley ignored the looks he was getting at his raised voice and pushed his hand through his hair in frustration. “You’re our fucking father! You don’t need to wait for her to call the shots to make an effort with us! Whether I wanted it or not, you should’ve been there! You shouldn’t have been sitting there in silence while Mum accused me of being a drug addict! Did it ever one occur to you that maybe a son might want his father around in his life now and again? I have friends whose fathers would die for them. I wouldn’t even trust you to piss on me if I was on fire because I know you’d be standing there waiting for Mum to give you the nod of approval!” He couldn’t look at his father’s face let alone meet his eyes. He knew if he did, he’d either cry or knock him out cold. Instead he folded his arms stiffly across his chest and clenched his fists as he turned to walk away. He couldn’t deal with this right now… didn’t want to. Actually, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to deal with it. His life had all but gone down the toilet and his parents hadn’t been there. There really was nothing further to add.
“Riley,” his father said pleadingly, taking a step to follow his son. “I want to be there for you. For both of you. I know I can’t make up for anything I’ve missed in your lives, but I want to try.”
Riley managed to meet his father’s eyes coldly. “Leave Mum. Until then, I don’t want you or her anywhere near me, and you can be as sure as fuck I’m not letting you near Tab.” He stonily held his father’s gaze for a few more moments and then shoved his hands into the pocket of his jacket, turning to walk away and this time, he didn’t look back.
asinthecity, imnodoctor, naughtynrse & notskywalker referenced with permission
Word Count | 932
(Augie March - ‘Farmer’s Son’)
Riley never really made it a habit of going out shopping in New York City. He’d never been fond of the pace of it, but it was Evie’s birthday in a few weeks time and he thought he’d try and find her something in New York while they were in the city for Halloween rather than leaving it all until the last minute. Evie had plans to spend the day with Jules and although they’d offered for him to tag along, he’d hastily declined. He also didn’t want to crash in on Tab again because she’d been talking extensively about doing Luke repeatedly and that was as good excuse as any for Riley to make himself pointedly scarce. Plus, in the wake of his conversation with his twin at the Halloween party, he had decided it was more than time to start getting used to not having her around. She had always been his first port of call when something was wrong, even when he was in Scotland, and often that was all he needed to stop himself freaking out over something. That couldn’t be anymore. Time to suck it up and deal so she was free do what she had always wanted to. He had other people to rely on. Evie was there plus Lachlan, Tara and Pat would always help him when he needed it. It was going to be fine. Tab had made a passing comment about Luke just having to be the one to step into her shoes when she was away, but Riley didn’t have the heart to actually tell her it was unlikely he’d have much need to be anywhere near Luke if she wasn’t around.
He was again lost in his own thoughts as he hastily stepped from a gift shop that carried gifts that he wouldn’t give his worst enemy let alone his girlfriend, when he heard a man’s voice calling his name to get his attention. He turned in the direction it was coming from and felt his stomach jumped up into his throat when he realised it was his father. Not wanting to get trampled by the busy rush of people bustling up the sidewalk, he stepped over to the curb and waited for his father to reach him. “Dad,” he said hesitantly. “Hey.” The memory of the last time he had seen his father replayed in his mind and it just made him feel sick. He dipped his head and looked down at his shoes for a moment, unable to shake the awkwardness of the unexpected meeting.
“I wasn’t sure that was even you for a moment,” Mr Browne admitted. “You look much better than you did when I last saw you.” There was a pause and Riley wondered if he father was contemplating hugging him, but the gesture didn’t come and he was actually relieved of the fact. “How are you, son? How’s Tabitha?”
“Yeah, um, to be fair, last time I’d just been told I was HIV Positive. Not exactly conducive to being bright eyed and bushy tailed,” Riley said bitterly without making an attempt to hide it in his tone. “All those phones calls in the last month checking how I am were overwhelming. You’d think I was your only son or something.”
Mr Browne closed his eyes briefly with a small sigh. He met his son’s eyes and gestured to a nearby coffee shop. “Will you let me buy you a coffee, son? We can talk. Truthfully, I didn’t think you would want to hear from me after what your mother said.”
“She’s got you by the balls, Dad! Goddamnit!” Riley ignored the looks he was getting at his raised voice and pushed his hand through his hair in frustration. “You’re our fucking father! You don’t need to wait for her to call the shots to make an effort with us! Whether I wanted it or not, you should’ve been there! You shouldn’t have been sitting there in silence while Mum accused me of being a drug addict! Did it ever one occur to you that maybe a son might want his father around in his life now and again? I have friends whose fathers would die for them. I wouldn’t even trust you to piss on me if I was on fire because I know you’d be standing there waiting for Mum to give you the nod of approval!” He couldn’t look at his father’s face let alone meet his eyes. He knew if he did, he’d either cry or knock him out cold. Instead he folded his arms stiffly across his chest and clenched his fists as he turned to walk away. He couldn’t deal with this right now… didn’t want to. Actually, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to deal with it. His life had all but gone down the toilet and his parents hadn’t been there. There really was nothing further to add.
“Riley,” his father said pleadingly, taking a step to follow his son. “I want to be there for you. For both of you. I know I can’t make up for anything I’ve missed in your lives, but I want to try.”
Riley managed to meet his father’s eyes coldly. “Leave Mum. Until then, I don’t want you or her anywhere near me, and you can be as sure as fuck I’m not letting you near Tab.” He stonily held his father’s gaze for a few more moments and then shoved his hands into the pocket of his jacket, turning to walk away and this time, he didn’t look back.
asinthecity, imnodoctor, naughtynrse & notskywalker referenced with permission
Word Count | 932