writers_muses | 57.4
57.4. Ficlet: We all have people in our lives who have had a great impact on us, or steered us onto a path we might not otherwise have seen. Share with us such an encounter involving your muse and a person who's played an important part in their life
Co-written with drcampbell
[Follows THIS and THIS | Refers to Riley's Needlestick Plot]
Riley watched Lachlan lift the edge of his t-shirt and rearrange the heat pack on his stomach where the now scarred-over bullet wound was located. The Scot was stretched out on the recliner looking a little worse for wear. When Tara had called Riley to ask him how he was, she’d inadvertently let slip that Lachlan was having a bad day himself, so of course Riley went over there to check on him under the guise that he was ‘bored’. “Overdo it on the weekend?” he asked, smirking.
Lachlan put his hand up to flip his friend off. “Aye, of course. Best fucking weekend since our wedding and honeymoon. I dinnae mind a bit of an excitement hangover. I’m fine if I’m horizontal. It was worth it. The surprise went off without a hitch and she was so happy. Fucking brilliant to see everyone in one room again. Dinnae think I didnae notice you and Evie disappear for a wee bit there.”
“How the hell did you notice that?” Riley laughed, shaking his head. “It was your wife’s surprise birthday party, your family was there, your in-laws were that, Pat’s family was there, your band was there… how did you notice us make ourselves scarce?!”
Lachlan smirked. “I notice everything, buddy. You cannae put anything past me.” He braced his hand on the hot pack through his t-shirt, pausing to grit his teeth through a wave of pain. He decided this was just another punishment for his stupidity the week before. “So, where did you two go?”
“Outside for some air…” Riley said evasively, clearing his throat and trying to will himself not to blush.
“Oh, aye. Air, huh?” Lachlan watched Riley in amusement. “Must’ve been some fecking good air if she was needing to give you mouth-to-mouth like that.”
This time Riley’s cheeks did burn as he realised what Lachlan what suggestion. “You saw us?!” he squeaked. “Oh my god…”
Lachlan waved his hand. “Ach, nay, buddy. Like you said. It was my wife’s birthday, I had my own groping to be doing on the dancefloor. But my bass player saw you, only for a wee minute, mind. He didnae stick around when he realised what you two could’ve been leading to. So, did you?”
“Yeah, kind of,” Riley had to admit, rubbing his hand over his face. There was no evading with Lachlan. It was a skill Riley had tried to nab but never quite managed it. Lachlan was observant like he said and always would be. “Not completely. Stop looking at me like that. I can feel your smirk through my hands.”
Lachlan just laughed. “You havenae anything to be ashamed of. Who can fucking blame you? It’s been a shite time since your HIV diagnosis and the whole lack of sex thing? I get it. Just because you cannae do it, doesnae mean you dinnae want to. ‘Course you want to. I just meant how are you getting on with the whole nervousness over penetration thing?”
Riley started to chew on his thumb nail in thought. “It’s still there, but I’m getting a bit better, I think. Just in the habit of making sure condoms are always in easy reach. There wasn’t any of that at Tara’s party. Just some… you know… hand action,” he said with a bit of a wave of his fingers.
“Pfft. Aye, okay. If you tell me neither of you came, I’ll slap you. A lassie has needs, buddy. Even if you cannae perform below the belt yourself, you still need to help her out,” Lachlan reminded it. “It’s scary, I know, but it’s also fun. Sperm doesnae always need to be involved.”
Riley nodded. “I’m learning that. It’s just not an easy thing to accept. I’m so scared an accident will happen and I’ll infect her. Plus, I’m never going to have sex without a condom again. It feels surreal to admit that to myself. When I try to talk about it, I just feel like people are going to get sick of hearing about my hang ups,” he explained. “But then my therapist tells me I need to talk about it to start to accept it.”
Lachlan let out a slow breath and nodded. “Aye, talking does help. Much better than sitting on all the shite and letting it eat you up.” He pointed to himself. “That’s coming from an expert shite sitter. It nearly damn near ruined me and made me try to push Tara away. Your friends and family willnae get sick of it, buddy. We’re here to help and listen. You know you can talk to me about anything anytime. My biggest lesson to learn was that sex wasnae just sex, it was that physical intimate connection with my wife. I was ashamed and tried to push her away but I soon realised I needed her. I need to feel her and be intimate with her, even if I couldnae get my cock to do the raw essence of fucking. It goes beyond that. And it’s nay an easy thing to realise.”
“I feel like I’m letting her down.” Riley picked his coffee up and cupped his hands around the mug. “Like some sort of…” He trailed off, not sure how to explain it.
“Failure as a man, as a lover, as a partner,” Lachlan filled in the gaps without hesitation. “Like if you cannae give her the basic obligations as a man, what can you give her?”
Riley nodded. “All of that. See, you get it. I’m also scared that I’m never going to feel sex again without the worry. Plus I realised the other day she’s never going to be able to give me a blow job without a condom.” He scrunched his nose up. “Trivial, I know, but it seems that sometimes the littler things piss me off the most.”
“It’s all the little things that made the big picture. Dinnae think any of your worries are trivial. They’re there and they’re very real. It’s a tough thing you’re facing, buddy, and considering it all, I think you’re doing fucking damn brilliantly. The sex will come and you will find a new normal. Of course there are risks, but you cannae forget that you likely ended up infected because of the complications of having no spleen. On the wee off chance a condom broke, you could have Evie at the hospital in minutes and on AB prophylaxis treatment. She’s one hundred percent healthy and would almost certainly evade infection. You need to think and focus with your brain, buddy, not with the disease,” Lachlan insisted. “Easier said than done, I know, but it’s the difference between letting it make or break you at the end of the day.”
Riley chewed right through his thumb nail and moved on to his middle finger. He nodded and took a sip of his coffee. “You went through a lot with Tara, even before the shooting, and you got through it.”
“Aye,” Lachlan confirmed with a nod. “It wasnae easy. It was around this time last year that we nearly broke up. Pat was in a coma after the haemorrhage and Tara had that pregnancy scare. I didnae know it, though. Was a bit messy for a time there, but aye, we got through. Nay relationship comes without the messy now and again. We’ve just had more messy than most, just like you.”
Riley’s eyes turned to the large wedding photo of Tara and Lachlan on their wall. The wedding sword was mounted under the glossy, happy picture which was draped in a thick strip of Campbell tartan. It was perfect; every bit the fairy tale for the couple who had been to hell and back. “How did you know when you wanted to marry her?” he asked quietly.
Lachlan followed Riley’s line of sight and smiled. The way they were embraced in the photo showed off their new, thick shiny wedding bands. It had been their favourite photo of the many taken. “Ach, I always knew. Almost from the day I met her, I knew I wanted her. By the time the proposal came it was just sort of like icing on the cake. I know some people get married for all the wrong reasons and sometimes it’s just nay right, but on the flipside, sometimes you just know it’s just perfect. I didnae doubt it.” He watched Riley closely, a small knowing smile on his face. “Timeframe doesnae matter,” he added for emphasis. “You’ll know.”
Riley’s head snapped up and he shook it insistently. “Not me! I just meant in general…” He cleared his throat and looked back down into his coffee, blushing.
“Aye,” Lachlan murmured, smirking and watching Riley knowingly. “And a Scotsman doesnae eat haggis.”
Tara Brennan-Campbell [doctortara], Evie Miller [imnodoctor] & Patrick Preston [sexyinscrubs] referenced with permission
Word Count | 1,462
Co-written with drcampbell
[Follows THIS and THIS | Refers to Riley's Needlestick Plot]
Riley watched Lachlan lift the edge of his t-shirt and rearrange the heat pack on his stomach where the now scarred-over bullet wound was located. The Scot was stretched out on the recliner looking a little worse for wear. When Tara had called Riley to ask him how he was, she’d inadvertently let slip that Lachlan was having a bad day himself, so of course Riley went over there to check on him under the guise that he was ‘bored’. “Overdo it on the weekend?” he asked, smirking.
Lachlan put his hand up to flip his friend off. “Aye, of course. Best fucking weekend since our wedding and honeymoon. I dinnae mind a bit of an excitement hangover. I’m fine if I’m horizontal. It was worth it. The surprise went off without a hitch and she was so happy. Fucking brilliant to see everyone in one room again. Dinnae think I didnae notice you and Evie disappear for a wee bit there.”
“How the hell did you notice that?” Riley laughed, shaking his head. “It was your wife’s surprise birthday party, your family was there, your in-laws were that, Pat’s family was there, your band was there… how did you notice us make ourselves scarce?!”
Lachlan smirked. “I notice everything, buddy. You cannae put anything past me.” He braced his hand on the hot pack through his t-shirt, pausing to grit his teeth through a wave of pain. He decided this was just another punishment for his stupidity the week before. “So, where did you two go?”
“Outside for some air…” Riley said evasively, clearing his throat and trying to will himself not to blush.
“Oh, aye. Air, huh?” Lachlan watched Riley in amusement. “Must’ve been some fecking good air if she was needing to give you mouth-to-mouth like that.”
This time Riley’s cheeks did burn as he realised what Lachlan what suggestion. “You saw us?!” he squeaked. “Oh my god…”
Lachlan waved his hand. “Ach, nay, buddy. Like you said. It was my wife’s birthday, I had my own groping to be doing on the dancefloor. But my bass player saw you, only for a wee minute, mind. He didnae stick around when he realised what you two could’ve been leading to. So, did you?”
“Yeah, kind of,” Riley had to admit, rubbing his hand over his face. There was no evading with Lachlan. It was a skill Riley had tried to nab but never quite managed it. Lachlan was observant like he said and always would be. “Not completely. Stop looking at me like that. I can feel your smirk through my hands.”
Lachlan just laughed. “You havenae anything to be ashamed of. Who can fucking blame you? It’s been a shite time since your HIV diagnosis and the whole lack of sex thing? I get it. Just because you cannae do it, doesnae mean you dinnae want to. ‘Course you want to. I just meant how are you getting on with the whole nervousness over penetration thing?”
Riley started to chew on his thumb nail in thought. “It’s still there, but I’m getting a bit better, I think. Just in the habit of making sure condoms are always in easy reach. There wasn’t any of that at Tara’s party. Just some… you know… hand action,” he said with a bit of a wave of his fingers.
“Pfft. Aye, okay. If you tell me neither of you came, I’ll slap you. A lassie has needs, buddy. Even if you cannae perform below the belt yourself, you still need to help her out,” Lachlan reminded it. “It’s scary, I know, but it’s also fun. Sperm doesnae always need to be involved.”
Riley nodded. “I’m learning that. It’s just not an easy thing to accept. I’m so scared an accident will happen and I’ll infect her. Plus, I’m never going to have sex without a condom again. It feels surreal to admit that to myself. When I try to talk about it, I just feel like people are going to get sick of hearing about my hang ups,” he explained. “But then my therapist tells me I need to talk about it to start to accept it.”
Lachlan let out a slow breath and nodded. “Aye, talking does help. Much better than sitting on all the shite and letting it eat you up.” He pointed to himself. “That’s coming from an expert shite sitter. It nearly damn near ruined me and made me try to push Tara away. Your friends and family willnae get sick of it, buddy. We’re here to help and listen. You know you can talk to me about anything anytime. My biggest lesson to learn was that sex wasnae just sex, it was that physical intimate connection with my wife. I was ashamed and tried to push her away but I soon realised I needed her. I need to feel her and be intimate with her, even if I couldnae get my cock to do the raw essence of fucking. It goes beyond that. And it’s nay an easy thing to realise.”
“I feel like I’m letting her down.” Riley picked his coffee up and cupped his hands around the mug. “Like some sort of…” He trailed off, not sure how to explain it.
“Failure as a man, as a lover, as a partner,” Lachlan filled in the gaps without hesitation. “Like if you cannae give her the basic obligations as a man, what can you give her?”
Riley nodded. “All of that. See, you get it. I’m also scared that I’m never going to feel sex again without the worry. Plus I realised the other day she’s never going to be able to give me a blow job without a condom.” He scrunched his nose up. “Trivial, I know, but it seems that sometimes the littler things piss me off the most.”
“It’s all the little things that made the big picture. Dinnae think any of your worries are trivial. They’re there and they’re very real. It’s a tough thing you’re facing, buddy, and considering it all, I think you’re doing fucking damn brilliantly. The sex will come and you will find a new normal. Of course there are risks, but you cannae forget that you likely ended up infected because of the complications of having no spleen. On the wee off chance a condom broke, you could have Evie at the hospital in minutes and on AB prophylaxis treatment. She’s one hundred percent healthy and would almost certainly evade infection. You need to think and focus with your brain, buddy, not with the disease,” Lachlan insisted. “Easier said than done, I know, but it’s the difference between letting it make or break you at the end of the day.”
Riley chewed right through his thumb nail and moved on to his middle finger. He nodded and took a sip of his coffee. “You went through a lot with Tara, even before the shooting, and you got through it.”
“Aye,” Lachlan confirmed with a nod. “It wasnae easy. It was around this time last year that we nearly broke up. Pat was in a coma after the haemorrhage and Tara had that pregnancy scare. I didnae know it, though. Was a bit messy for a time there, but aye, we got through. Nay relationship comes without the messy now and again. We’ve just had more messy than most, just like you.”
Riley’s eyes turned to the large wedding photo of Tara and Lachlan on their wall. The wedding sword was mounted under the glossy, happy picture which was draped in a thick strip of Campbell tartan. It was perfect; every bit the fairy tale for the couple who had been to hell and back. “How did you know when you wanted to marry her?” he asked quietly.
Lachlan followed Riley’s line of sight and smiled. The way they were embraced in the photo showed off their new, thick shiny wedding bands. It had been their favourite photo of the many taken. “Ach, I always knew. Almost from the day I met her, I knew I wanted her. By the time the proposal came it was just sort of like icing on the cake. I know some people get married for all the wrong reasons and sometimes it’s just nay right, but on the flipside, sometimes you just know it’s just perfect. I didnae doubt it.” He watched Riley closely, a small knowing smile on his face. “Timeframe doesnae matter,” he added for emphasis. “You’ll know.”
Riley’s head snapped up and he shook it insistently. “Not me! I just meant in general…” He cleared his throat and looked back down into his coffee, blushing.
“Aye,” Lachlan murmured, smirking and watching Riley knowingly. “And a Scotsman doesnae eat haggis.”
Tara Brennan-Campbell [doctortara], Evie Miller [imnodoctor] & Patrick Preston [sexyinscrubs] referenced with permission
Word Count | 1,462