Eighteen - [Voice] - This Moment Seems So Long
[there's the crash of a trash can being thrown at a brick wall, planned, this post is deliberate]
I have been gone for two whole days. Have you noticed? Any of you?
[a bitter laugh]
Of course you didn't. None of you do. As always. It's not like I haven't tried or anything. No, I have. With each and every one of you. AND NONE OF YOU GAVE ME A FUCKING CHANCE.
[the wind is picking up, but as it gets noisier, he gets louder]
You think I like this? Any of it? The fact that all of you fucking hate me? That I wake up each morning enjoying this feeling? The fact that none of you can stand my presence? THE FACT THAT NONE OF YOU - NOT ONE OF YOU GIVES A DAMN? Do you think I feel ecstatic because of this? I love it? That this was the intent?
None of you ever gave a damn. And you know what?
[there's another metallic smash]
I'M FUCKING SICK OF THIS. OF ALL OF IT. ALL OF YOUR FUCKING MELODRAMA, YOUR IDIOCY, AND HYPOCRISY. Back before at least it never fucking mattered - all of it, the fact that even when I attempt a civil conversation with ANY of you, each of you whip around to shove it in my face. EACH OF YOU.
[screaming]
I'VE NOT DONE ANYTHING BUT TRY. ANYTHING. AND EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU FUCKING IDIOTS MADE THIS HAPPEN. ALL OF THIS. YOU'VE ASKED FOR THIS. ALL OF YOU YOU'VE TURNED MY LIFE INTO THIS. IT'S ALL OF YOU CONSPIRING.
[...perhaps the fact that he's crying is now apparent to the listeners]
You fucking ruined it. Each and every - every one of you. You've turned this into this, it never - never ever would have gone like this if you'd all DONE SOMETHING ASIDE WHAT YOU USUALLY DO. For all of it.
[the wind is nearly drowning him out at this point,]
And you fucking now know what? She wouldn't - NONE OF THEM would be like this - if it weren't for you. Each of you, each - each of-
[drowned out by his own breakdown, the wind slowly dying until the phone clicks off]
I have been gone for two whole days. Have you noticed? Any of you?
[a bitter laugh]
Of course you didn't. None of you do. As always. It's not like I haven't tried or anything. No, I have. With each and every one of you. AND NONE OF YOU GAVE ME A FUCKING CHANCE.
[the wind is picking up, but as it gets noisier, he gets louder]
You think I like this? Any of it? The fact that all of you fucking hate me? That I wake up each morning enjoying this feeling? The fact that none of you can stand my presence? THE FACT THAT NONE OF YOU - NOT ONE OF YOU GIVES A DAMN? Do you think I feel ecstatic because of this? I love it? That this was the intent?
None of you ever gave a damn. And you know what?
[there's another metallic smash]
I'M FUCKING SICK OF THIS. OF ALL OF IT. ALL OF YOUR FUCKING MELODRAMA, YOUR IDIOCY, AND HYPOCRISY. Back before at least it never fucking mattered - all of it, the fact that even when I attempt a civil conversation with ANY of you, each of you whip around to shove it in my face. EACH OF YOU.
[screaming]
I'VE NOT DONE ANYTHING BUT TRY. ANYTHING. AND EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU FUCKING IDIOTS MADE THIS HAPPEN. ALL OF THIS. YOU'VE ASKED FOR THIS. ALL OF YOU YOU'VE TURNED MY LIFE INTO THIS. IT'S ALL OF YOU CONSPIRING.
[...perhaps the fact that he's crying is now apparent to the listeners]
You fucking ruined it. Each and every - every one of you. You've turned this into this, it never - never ever would have gone like this if you'd all DONE SOMETHING ASIDE WHAT YOU USUALLY DO. For all of it.
[the wind is nearly drowning him out at this point,]
And you fucking now know what? She wouldn't - NONE OF THEM would be like this - if it weren't for you. Each of you, each - each of-
[drowned out by his own breakdown, the wind slowly dying until the phone clicks off]