Congratulations You Not American

[pull_the_lever]

Told to me today by the new manager of my new school upon learning that I'm not a shitizen of the USA: "Congratulations you not American." Note the distinct lack of comma after the 'congratulations', the lack thereof used to indicate the abundance of Engrish Mz Thang was speaking. For the truth is I'm paraphrasing for emphasis. It actually sounded

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[pull_the_lever]

Ja what the fuck was all that schpiel about Europeans, English and Americans not getting along?!?!?! Americans not liking another country? Why it's unheard of, the peacemongers...