(no subject)
Okay its me again-finally. I officially have nothing of my summer in here-but im starting to think that's better-cause its a whole other world and a whole other life that has no place in the middle of all this shit. Seriously-im really glad that I didn't put any of the amazing things that happened this summer in here-or the bad shit-cause as far as im concerned i remember it all-and i dont need it down in this shitty journal. And I wish i weren't writing in it now-but pretty much I had nowhere else to talk-so i thought i'd give it a whirl cuz im so fucking frustrated by my life right now-and i dont really care if everyone knows it.
for starters im pissed that summer's over-ive never been happier-even despite some bad shit, and i hate that its all coming to an end and all the school crap is starting up. and summer reading is the least of my problems. im so sick of all the shit that's starting again. . .there are no words.I miss my summer friends-and I miss Zach-u dont know about him cuz i haven't written-he's my pseudo-boyfriend living in Cinncinnati who i miss like hell-i miss Kate my best friend from Northwestern a hellah lot-and i miss all my NJCL friends.
Im not ready for classes, work, homework, or crew.
Im not ready for Kevin's bs-and all the practice and being away every weekend of my life.
Im not ready to deal with people who hate me. Ie-Allison and all her bitchy friends, all of julia's friends, all the preps-u name it. And especially Katy-cuz im so done with that shit. I dont understand how someone can hate u for no reason-and then expect u to fix it-or just not care. "hey fuck u-i hate u-get the fuck out of my life" and then say "i dont care i dont wanna fix it fuck u"-um ok noone's twisting your arm. Wanna know the funny part? i cleaned my room all out this summer-emptied all my drawers and all my old shit and found this poem id saved that she'd wrtiten to me as an apology after some stupid argument we had all about how stupid fighting was and how much she loved me and she'd never forget how we were best friends-u get the idea. i cried and then put it back in my drawer cuz it happens to be one of the only things i have left of that "endless" friendship. awesome. cool. another happy summer moment gone. Oh i forgot liz and all her friends on the list of people who hate me. wups. silly me. now theyre added. what the fuck is it when u call someone EVERY WEEK of the summer to check on them and talk to them and keep in touch cuz u care about their friendship and they can't EVER CALL U? or laugh when their friends make cracks about u when u call. or call ur other friends who never call them? huh? what is that?
Im not ready to never sleep.
Im not ready to lose 10 pounds in the next week.
Im not ready to be ignored by my friends.
Im not ready.
for starters im pissed that summer's over-ive never been happier-even despite some bad shit, and i hate that its all coming to an end and all the school crap is starting up. and summer reading is the least of my problems. im so sick of all the shit that's starting again. . .there are no words.I miss my summer friends-and I miss Zach-u dont know about him cuz i haven't written-he's my pseudo-boyfriend living in Cinncinnati who i miss like hell-i miss Kate my best friend from Northwestern a hellah lot-and i miss all my NJCL friends.
Im not ready for classes, work, homework, or crew.
Im not ready for Kevin's bs-and all the practice and being away every weekend of my life.
Im not ready to deal with people who hate me. Ie-Allison and all her bitchy friends, all of julia's friends, all the preps-u name it. And especially Katy-cuz im so done with that shit. I dont understand how someone can hate u for no reason-and then expect u to fix it-or just not care. "hey fuck u-i hate u-get the fuck out of my life" and then say "i dont care i dont wanna fix it fuck u"-um ok noone's twisting your arm. Wanna know the funny part? i cleaned my room all out this summer-emptied all my drawers and all my old shit and found this poem id saved that she'd wrtiten to me as an apology after some stupid argument we had all about how stupid fighting was and how much she loved me and she'd never forget how we were best friends-u get the idea. i cried and then put it back in my drawer cuz it happens to be one of the only things i have left of that "endless" friendship. awesome. cool. another happy summer moment gone. Oh i forgot liz and all her friends on the list of people who hate me. wups. silly me. now theyre added. what the fuck is it when u call someone EVERY WEEK of the summer to check on them and talk to them and keep in touch cuz u care about their friendship and they can't EVER CALL U? or laugh when their friends make cracks about u when u call. or call ur other friends who never call them? huh? what is that?
Im not ready to never sleep.
Im not ready to lose 10 pounds in the next week.
Im not ready to be ignored by my friends.
Im not ready.