although this night 9.0/10

[pul_the_triger]

Title: Although This Night
Rating: uhm R for now
Pairing: frerard
Disclaimer: dont kill me for the theme and i dont own them
Summary: the angel of mercy tore his wings tonight/ broke the mirror and ate the glass/ no he wouldnt give me the gun this time/ no one knows the angel of mercy walked from hell tonight.

Prelude / Print 1.0 / Print 2.0 / Print 3.0 / Print 4.0 / Print 5.0/  Print 6.0 / Print 7.0 / Print 8.0

print 9.0

i imagine you to be an artist, a writer or a musician maybe, because even from afar your hands look like their made to create something.  Compared to mine that only wanted to destroy everything you created.

I cant be trusted that way.

But what name can i give to you, what thought could've been worthy enough. For i imagine you to be someone i have met once but have known all my life. Possibly. I commit this to memory as i commit the ink to paper. Somehow wanting it to be your hand forming words and not mine.

I start to wonder if i can imagine myself pressed up to you and search for a bit more humanity in your eyes that lacks so much in mine. And i imagine you to be just that.

I imagine you to make a room a sanctuary for yourself where you would hide your creativity. So i would know exactly where you hide your dreams. To break them or to hold them as i please, just like i let you do to me.

I imagine myself to tell you to live deliberately. Im not exactly positive why, but it could only make more sense if my lips were on yours. And i imagine seeing the overcast skies reflect from your olive green eyes. 
Just for the sake of it.

I imagine you to be someone who gets sick often, and make me believe its for the sheer reason that i take care of you. In those ways it would make you more caring than i could ever be.

i imagine in the morning you would tell me what you dream about as you stare at the ceiling. How its about swimming in endless water, not actually drowning, but the continous endlessness that scares you. And i would forget how empty living forever really is.

I imagine that you love the rain, and i how i can stand there with you just to watch how the drops would caress your face. Until the thunder would scare the both us and we'd both run for the safety of the warmth in the house we share and each other.

At times, i would imagine  you to be the person sittling right across the table from me. And i would be waitting for you to ask me, ask me anything... ask me the impossible.

But you would never. Only asking of me a cigarette lighter.

i imagine you search for me. With the purpose of finding nothing or.... everything. But you could never find me because i was always looking for you. However long periods i would spend looking into your eyes, searching for something of my own.

i imagine you to tell me this could be the last time for everything. That this could be our last day, and i could never believe you. No, i would never believe you.

I imagine just how intricate your eyes would look like, the tinge of olive green, accented by a certain light that reflected just how much living like this meant to you. How my worth to you weighed against everything else, would always fall to me.

I imagine telling you that i'd leave you and in the end i never did. I imagine you looking at me, half believing this time and the next but never trying to stop me. I imagine seeing how much i break you and how much i dont want to. How i refuse to.

And i imagine you telling me that you love-

And the ink bottle collides with off white walls caressed by the nonexistent curtains blown by the wind. Carrying with it several sheets of tainted paper.

~~~

Author's Note: i debated with myself since this started as chap 9 THEN i wanted to make it into a one shot then chap 9 again.

we all know who is writing right? hehehe well... this chapter really just serves to bridge the events for the last chapter which i promise WILL resolve the whole story no matter what :D

im really sorry for the wait. i was so struck with "If this is the last song we ever play, keep it alive. If this is the last show we ever play, keep yourselves alive" its left me stunned. and there also might be a wait for chapter 10. so im apologizing in advance.

i love you guys still. reviews=love like updates are.

sorry i wasnt able to reply to comments, i was busy and its next on my to do list :D

inspired by promt 247 "I'm still in love with who I wish you were." ~Kate Voegele, 248(holy), 249 (i refuse), 234 (i cant be trusted), 231 (overcast skies)  from community all_unwritten