(no subject)
I'm tired of dwelling on the things from the past that I've lost. I'm tired of floating through life feeling half dead waiting for something, anything, to give me a sense of purpose. I'm just tired. Within two weeks, I'll be on testosterone. Maybe even less than two weeks depending on how long the doctor takes to get back to me about my lab results. And this is only the beginning of the huge changes to come. I should be looking towards the future instead of dwelling on the past. There's nothing for me there. What's it matter that there was a girl I loved more than anything. What's it matter that I'd spend my life proving it to her if I could. What's it matter when she doesn't want it from me. There are certain things I can never go back to, but what I make of the future is completely up to me. And that is both exciting and terrifying.
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