big mamas diary.
we are about to watch diary of a mad black woman..my fellow crackmates told me i had to see it when we were in rehab. sooo yeah.. katie kept saying big mamas diary.
we just watched prozac nation.. i dont see how i really could enjoy it.. its my life.. the shit i deal with daily..
i liked the book.. im still undecided on the movie..
i think the only thing that can take me out of my depression is to act on it.. i do my art.. but i do want to write more... i have always been so self conscious of everything.. in grade school i didnt share my stories.. i liked them but never thought anyone else would.. but i am real.. what i have to say i dont suger coat cause thats not who i am.. im a rude crude girl. if i could be anyone else i probably would.. but i cant.. no matter who comes and goes in my life i will always have myself.. its only i that i have to stick true to.. and i do.. i realize i love myself and every action i take.. others might not agree. but im not here to be accepted.. or even liked.. id like to be understood. but its impossible.. you might understand to an extent but i cant make you go through every minute ive lived.. and for that NO one understands... i like that though.. i makes me feel closer to myself.. ive been seeing myself change lately.. depending more on others for my own happiness.. so yeah i need to get back in touch with me..
i need to stop searching for meaning in every action i take..
it causes me to much hurt and confusion...
im only living for myself from now on..
this might seem like common sence for most.. but its takes alot for me.. this has happened before
and usually i fall back.. but no matter who joins my side i will remain living for me.. not to please anyone... any boy.. any friend.. im sorry... and im being selfish.. but if you were me you would understand
understand what a gift being selfish is sometimes...
i have goals.. might seem far fetched or just plain idiotic to most. but i dont think so and thats what matters, right? and hey a goal is a goal.. it motivates.
im motivated.
i will make an impact on a mass number of people.. good or bad isnt my main concern.
i live for controversy. i wish it wasent the way it is.. but it is.
i basically dont feel like someone is being real with me until they hate me.. i feed off negativity.
i want to find another way to live. but another bigger part doesnt. i dont know..
Insanity: repeating the same thing over expecting different results..
yeah. im insane. but arent we all nowadays?
the future looks bland in my eyes.. technology rules the world.
i truely understand why elders would look down on us "kids" i mean look at our generation.. its doomed.
we are the doom generation.
ill lead the cult.
we just watched prozac nation.. i dont see how i really could enjoy it.. its my life.. the shit i deal with daily..
i liked the book.. im still undecided on the movie..
i think the only thing that can take me out of my depression is to act on it.. i do my art.. but i do want to write more... i have always been so self conscious of everything.. in grade school i didnt share my stories.. i liked them but never thought anyone else would.. but i am real.. what i have to say i dont suger coat cause thats not who i am.. im a rude crude girl. if i could be anyone else i probably would.. but i cant.. no matter who comes and goes in my life i will always have myself.. its only i that i have to stick true to.. and i do.. i realize i love myself and every action i take.. others might not agree. but im not here to be accepted.. or even liked.. id like to be understood. but its impossible.. you might understand to an extent but i cant make you go through every minute ive lived.. and for that NO one understands... i like that though.. i makes me feel closer to myself.. ive been seeing myself change lately.. depending more on others for my own happiness.. so yeah i need to get back in touch with me..
i need to stop searching for meaning in every action i take..
it causes me to much hurt and confusion...
im only living for myself from now on..
this might seem like common sence for most.. but its takes alot for me.. this has happened before
and usually i fall back.. but no matter who joins my side i will remain living for me.. not to please anyone... any boy.. any friend.. im sorry... and im being selfish.. but if you were me you would understand
understand what a gift being selfish is sometimes...
i have goals.. might seem far fetched or just plain idiotic to most. but i dont think so and thats what matters, right? and hey a goal is a goal.. it motivates.
im motivated.
i will make an impact on a mass number of people.. good or bad isnt my main concern.
i live for controversy. i wish it wasent the way it is.. but it is.
i basically dont feel like someone is being real with me until they hate me.. i feed off negativity.
i want to find another way to live. but another bigger part doesnt. i dont know..
Insanity: repeating the same thing over expecting different results..
yeah. im insane. but arent we all nowadays?
the future looks bland in my eyes.. technology rules the world.
i truely understand why elders would look down on us "kids" i mean look at our generation.. its doomed.
we are the doom generation.
ill lead the cult.