motivationless...
ive been feeling pretty pathetic and useless lately. well i know that i AM. normally this feeling doesnt bother me. but now its different cause im simply not pleased. nothing lately has really excited me. ive just been alright i think. but i want those feelings of joy to come rushing in soon.
i think im just really lonely. i dont nessicarily want a significant other, though a awesome girlfriend or boyfriend wouldnt hurt. i dont feel as close to my real real friends as i used to. i think once in portland there will be a huge change. whether we get back to normal or grow further apart. either way i cant wait to move. i need a huge change. to walk outside and see mountains or drive a half hour and see the ocean. i cant even fathom it. and it sure beats flatgrounds and a casino.
everytime i meet someone i think is like me. things change. i just need to meet someone knew that just enjoys life and whips me into a crazy funfilled summer. i dont know how this is going to happen. i spend my days in the pool, at the skatepark, or with people i already know. the show yesturday was kinda depressing. it kills me to see so much hate. its always cool to hate. and i HATE that.
im trying to live with a very open mind. and for about the last year its been good. i dont think i have any enemies and i dont HATE anyone..so it puzzles me why i havent found one single person that i reallly get along with and we mutually want to spend alone time together. and is it just cause im alone that it seems that EVERYONE has someone? cause i think pretty much all my friends are with someone.
hmm well sorry for the emo post. didnt mean to get that into it.
went golfing today with my dad and bro. twas fun. 68 sucks but its alright for not playing for a couple years, eh?
i think im just really lonely. i dont nessicarily want a significant other, though a awesome girlfriend or boyfriend wouldnt hurt. i dont feel as close to my real real friends as i used to. i think once in portland there will be a huge change. whether we get back to normal or grow further apart. either way i cant wait to move. i need a huge change. to walk outside and see mountains or drive a half hour and see the ocean. i cant even fathom it. and it sure beats flatgrounds and a casino.
everytime i meet someone i think is like me. things change. i just need to meet someone knew that just enjoys life and whips me into a crazy funfilled summer. i dont know how this is going to happen. i spend my days in the pool, at the skatepark, or with people i already know. the show yesturday was kinda depressing. it kills me to see so much hate. its always cool to hate. and i HATE that.
im trying to live with a very open mind. and for about the last year its been good. i dont think i have any enemies and i dont HATE anyone..so it puzzles me why i havent found one single person that i reallly get along with and we mutually want to spend alone time together. and is it just cause im alone that it seems that EVERYONE has someone? cause i think pretty much all my friends are with someone.
hmm well sorry for the emo post. didnt mean to get that into it.
went golfing today with my dad and bro. twas fun. 68 sucks but its alright for not playing for a couple years, eh?