(no subject)
Do you ever feel that all you do is what you are SUPPOSE to do, what you HAVE to do, what you NEED to do in order to have somewhat of a normal life? I've been busting my ass with school, with my job. . . I'm almost finished with training to become a victim's advocate. These are all things I HAVE to do in order to get the career I want for myself later. And I am so bored with it all.
All I want is to be able to be someone else for a while. To be able to do all those things that are required, but then be able to go and have fun.
I wanted to try out for a burlesque troupe but that didn't work out because I was scared I wouldn't have any support from Kelly and also I was so goddamn self conscience of my body, I couldn't expose it. I wanted to be Kelly's valet for wrestling shows, I wanted to actually become a wreslter myself. . . Neither of those worked out.
I can feel myself going crazy inside by having to stick to "normal". I'm not normal. . . I just don't know what to do. I really don't. I feel absolutely stuck and frustrated.