Damn my traitor brain!
Alex, I hate you. =)
A couple of days ago, thanks to weekend crowds, I had to walk behind a rather large lady who had chosen to wear cream linen pants that were quite snug around the posterior. Try as I might, I just could’nt look away. It was almost hypnotic. Instead of the usual snide/cruel/mean comments that would normally spring to mind, however, I kept hearing the phrase "Left cheek. Right cheek. Left cheek. Right cheek. Together! Together!".....
I’ve been hearing it ever since. And everywhere I look, I keep visualising twitching buttocks. Does’nt matter who I’m walking behind. Male, female, flat, firm, large, perky, saggy… whatever. My traitor brain just keeps showing me images of cheeks twitching (clenching?) to the chant of "Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek..."
On the plus side, I’ve been walking around with this idiot grin on my face, since the visuals are just too amusing.
On the minus side, everyone thinks I’m crazy, considering the occasional (and highly inappropriate) giggles I burst into when an especially disturbing image pops into my head...
Oh. Hang on. All the regulars on my morning commute already think I’m crazy, thanks no doubt to my (poorly muffled) sniggers, chuckles and outright laughter whenever I’m reading something particularly amusing. On the bus. At 6 in the morning. Nevermind, then...
Though, I really do hope it goes away sometime soon. This is getting to be just a bit too much. I get to be senior bag-carrier at a meeting shortly, and I really don’t need to be thinking about astronomically senior older gentlemen in this fashion..
A couple of days ago, thanks to weekend crowds, I had to walk behind a rather large lady who had chosen to wear cream linen pants that were quite snug around the posterior. Try as I might, I just could’nt look away. It was almost hypnotic. Instead of the usual snide/cruel/mean comments that would normally spring to mind, however, I kept hearing the phrase "Left cheek. Right cheek. Left cheek. Right cheek. Together! Together!".....
I’ve been hearing it ever since. And everywhere I look, I keep visualising twitching buttocks. Does’nt matter who I’m walking behind. Male, female, flat, firm, large, perky, saggy… whatever. My traitor brain just keeps showing me images of cheeks twitching (clenching?) to the chant of "Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek..."
On the plus side, I’ve been walking around with this idiot grin on my face, since the visuals are just too amusing.
On the minus side, everyone thinks I’m crazy, considering the occasional (and highly inappropriate) giggles I burst into when an especially disturbing image pops into my head...
Oh. Hang on. All the regulars on my morning commute already think I’m crazy, thanks no doubt to my (poorly muffled) sniggers, chuckles and outright laughter whenever I’m reading something particularly amusing. On the bus. At 6 in the morning. Nevermind, then...
Though, I really do hope it goes away sometime soon. This is getting to be just a bit too much. I get to be senior bag-carrier at a meeting shortly, and I really don’t need to be thinking about astronomically senior older gentlemen in this fashion..