Send the pain below....

[puffinpenguin21]

Never in my life have I felt so lied to, deceived, and taken advantage of. Every time that I feel like I am actually going somewhere with my life, something always comes to tear my world down. I NO LONGER TRUST ANYONE. Who in their right mind can hurt someone so many times and not even care that they are doing it? Do they get some sick pleasure seeing someone wrapped up in their fingers oblivious of EVERYTHING? I am no longer angry nor sad…….just disappointed. The real loss here is not for me, but the person who cannot control their actions. I’m not even sure what to do anymore because I have nowhere to go and nobody to help me. All emotions that I once had have now faded away to some land that I will never find again. Everything will be ok though. Maybe I won’t be so ignorant of signs that I wasn’t willing to come to grips with. I just don’t understand the sick pleasure that she gets in keeping this from me. It’s ok Sandra, Don’t feel like I am letting anger out on you and trying to make you look bad in front of all friends because apparently everybody knows except me. I hope you feel better now that I had to hear if from someone other that yourself. Did you seriously think that I would never find out? It’s funny that you always call me the pathological liar, yet every time you cheated on me, you would make me feel guilty for something YOU did just HOURS ago!!! The excuse of “being drunk” will not work anymore because you deliberately make sure you are over with your acts before I COME HOME or before I WAKE up. I hope those nights were beneficial to you because you just broke someone’s heart who has given everything to you, and tried to make things work out even when they are in its worst. I hope you feel even better knowing that I have nowhere to go now. You made me move her to Orlando for what reason???? To hurt me even more, make me cry more, see me break?? Congratulations……it worked!!!!!

I let myself fall into a lie
I let my walls come down
I let myself smile and feel alive
I let my walls come down
No matter how i try i don't know why
You push so far away
You wrapped your hands tight around my heart
And squeezed it full of pain

With this knife i'll cut out the part of me
The part that cares for you
With this knife i'll cut out the heart of me
The heart that cares for you

I can't believe the way you took me down
I never saw the pain
Coming in a million broken miles
Like poison for my veins