writing blathers and blahs.
Rise from the Ashes is over -- Faith made it to the finals, and I think I'm proud of what I did with her, even if I struggled with the last two rounds proper. (At least I came back with a vengeance in the finals, when I had access to a computer during them.) More tournament musing to come later, I think.
Have been poking at the House in My Head ficbits lately, as I am coming off what can only be described as a severe research hangover, and I needed the break rather badly. (Have so far written Lithuania and Hisoka discovering each others' scars in the bath, Faith and Kara's infamous drunken one-night stand, Ciel and Hokuto raiding Balthier's closet for clothes to go out in, Kara and the boys playing strip pyramid, and the girls accidentally destroying the house.) I'm still taking prompts on that post, too, since those ficbits are basically things I turn to and fill when I want to write but can't bring myself to work on anything stressful.
Also of interest: the Original Fiction Drabble-thon, in prompt-tree format, which I think I shall play with at some point, because I miss writing original fiction. Plus, I've been on a Gaiman-binge lately (finally got my hands on Fragile Things like two and a half years after it came out -- I know, I know), and seeing what he does with stories always makes me want to write like that. Not exactly like him, of course, but I love the dream-logic of his work, where fragments of other and older symbols and stories are woven into something new and enchanting and haunting. I've been meaning to work on Bandiverse all summer -- hell, since last year -- and I just haven't. Not that, not any other original projects, really. I love fanfic, and I doubt I'll ever stop writing it, but I know I have my own stories in me somewhere, too.
Somewhere. At this point, writing anything of my own would be nice.
I don't know; I think this ties into a larger problem I've been having with my work lately, which is basically that I'm wondering if I can tell stories on my own. Again, I love fanfic, and I love the creative partnership I have with Mith and I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I want, and need, to tell a story that's mine, somehow, even if it builds off stories other people have told and told well. I need to find that fire to create again, and I need to find it within myself, not outside of me. I need to stop despairing that I'll never get it right and I'll never know enough and someone somewhere is going to be offended or hurt by what I've done or call me out on everything I've done wrong and just...do it. Just sit down, trust the research I've done so far, and tell the story. At this point, I feel like research is hindering, instead of helping, because I've spent hours upon hours factchecking and obsessing and giving so much thought and worry to the leaves on the trees that I've almost forgotten about the forest. I've almost lost whatever it is that drives me to write at all. It's starting to become something I dread and put off, instead of something I genuinely enjoy doing.
I don't know what the cure for this is, but I hope I find it, and I hope I find it soon.
Have been poking at the House in My Head ficbits lately, as I am coming off what can only be described as a severe research hangover, and I needed the break rather badly. (Have so far written Lithuania and Hisoka discovering each others' scars in the bath, Faith and Kara's infamous drunken one-night stand, Ciel and Hokuto raiding Balthier's closet for clothes to go out in, Kara and the boys playing strip pyramid, and the girls accidentally destroying the house.) I'm still taking prompts on that post, too, since those ficbits are basically things I turn to and fill when I want to write but can't bring myself to work on anything stressful.
Also of interest: the Original Fiction Drabble-thon, in prompt-tree format, which I think I shall play with at some point, because I miss writing original fiction. Plus, I've been on a Gaiman-binge lately (finally got my hands on Fragile Things like two and a half years after it came out -- I know, I know), and seeing what he does with stories always makes me want to write like that. Not exactly like him, of course, but I love the dream-logic of his work, where fragments of other and older symbols and stories are woven into something new and enchanting and haunting. I've been meaning to work on Bandiverse all summer -- hell, since last year -- and I just haven't. Not that, not any other original projects, really. I love fanfic, and I doubt I'll ever stop writing it, but I know I have my own stories in me somewhere, too.
Somewhere. At this point, writing anything of my own would be nice.
I don't know; I think this ties into a larger problem I've been having with my work lately, which is basically that I'm wondering if I can tell stories on my own. Again, I love fanfic, and I love the creative partnership I have with Mith and I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I want, and need, to tell a story that's mine, somehow, even if it builds off stories other people have told and told well. I need to find that fire to create again, and I need to find it within myself, not outside of me. I need to stop despairing that I'll never get it right and I'll never know enough and someone somewhere is going to be offended or hurt by what I've done or call me out on everything I've done wrong and just...do it. Just sit down, trust the research I've done so far, and tell the story. At this point, I feel like research is hindering, instead of helping, because I've spent hours upon hours factchecking and obsessing and giving so much thought and worry to the leaves on the trees that I've almost forgotten about the forest. I've almost lost whatever it is that drives me to write at all. It's starting to become something I dread and put off, instead of something I genuinely enjoy doing.
I don't know what the cure for this is, but I hope I find it, and I hope I find it soon.