2008 in fic.
Actual reflective stuff about non-fic stuff will come later. I've been working on this masterlist thing for a while. I say "for a while" because I wrote 38 full-length fanfics this year, 46 if you include ficlets, and -- a lot more if you count all the commentfic. (This also discounts original work, school stuff, cowritten works, and fic I never ended up posting.) Total fannish wordcount? 146,760. (That puts my average fic wordcount at about 3190.) 22,000 of those words are Wayward Dawn, but still. I'm rather proud of myself.
Fic
January
Intent (FFXII, Vayne/Penelo and Larsa/Penelo; PG-13, ~4000 words)
(And then there was Eternity: Wayward Dawn, where I sponsored Zack Fair, which is why I'm putting this on the fanfic list. PG-13 (...for Zack, at least), ~22,000 words.)
February
Fortune and Fools, chapter one (FFXII AU, Balthier, Zecht, and others; PG, 5100 words)
You Can't Go Home Again (FFXII, Balthier/Fran; PG, 3450 words)
Marriage of True Minds (Baccano!, Claire/Chane; R, 1200 words)
Nirvana (DDS/X, Heat/Subaru; R, 2115 words)
March
Monuments to Masks (BSG, Kara/Leoben; PG-13, 1086 words)
Bet, Raise, Call (Baccano!, Luck/Firo; PG-13, 1430 words)
Fortune and Fools, chapter two (FFXII AU, Balthier, Zecht, and others; PG, 4340 words)
April
How Do You Solve a Problem Like Minato? (Persona 3, Junpei and the cast; PG, 3440 words)
Hands in the Dark (X, Seishirou/Subaru; NC-17, 1460 words)
Glass (Baccano!, Luck/Eve; PG, 890 words)
Quintessence of Dust (DDS, Roland/Argilla; PG-13, 5050 words)
May
Nova (Death Note, Light/Misa; NC-17, 2310 words)
pand [emonium]/[ora] (Tokyo Babylon, Seishirou/Subaru, Hokuto; PG, 3616 words)
June
and on the surface that's true (X, Seishirou/Subaru; NC-17, 2200 words)
Waiting Game (BSG, Adama/Roslin; PG, 1000 words)
Reduction (DDS, Heat/Jenna/Sera; NC-17, 3425 words)
Never Have I Ever (1) (X, Dragons of Heaven; PG-13, 3300 words)
Right but Not Correct (DDS/X, O'Brian/Subaru; NC-17, 2500 words)
Splinter (X, Kamui-->Subaru; PG-13, 2565 words)
July
Military Time (BSG, Baltar/Gaeta; PG-13, ~4000 words)
Etymology (DDS, Roland/Argilla, Roland-->Greg; PG-13, 7000 words)
But Then I Shall Know Even As Also I Am Known (Baccano!/Sandman, Vino/Corinthian; R, ~3100 words)
August
Scenes from a Sumeragi's Sexual Awakening (Tokyo Babylon, Seishirou/Subaru, Hokuto; R, 2650 words)
Initiation Rites (X, Fuuma/Yuuto/Kanoe/Subaru; NC-17, 3620 words)
memento mori, chapter one (X/Yami no Matsuei, Subaru, Tsuzuki, Hisoka; PG-13, 4370 words)
memento mori, chapter two (X/Yami no Matsuei, Subaru, Tsuzuki, Hisoka; PG-13, 5106 words)
September
memento mori, chapter three (X/Yami no Matsuei, Subaru, Tsuzuki, Hisoka; PG-13, 4947 words)
October
With Himself at War (Code Geass, Suzaku/Kallen, Lloyd; R, ~4000 words)
Clearing the Table (Tokyo Babylon, Seishirou/Subaru; R, ~1200 words)
November
memento mori, chapter four (X/Yami no Matsuei, Subaru, Tsuzuki, Hisoka; PG-13, ~5000 words)
Fugue (Persona 3, Minato and the cast; PG-13, ~2600 words)
Anthem, part one (Axis Powers Hetalia, America, France; R, 3800 words)
December
The Wind, the Sun, and the Eagle (Axis Powers Hetalia, Russia/China; R, ~2800 words)
Sub Specie Aeternitatis, part one (Axis Powers Hetalia/Sandman, America and the Endless; R, ~4100 words)
Sub Specie Aeternitatis, part two (Axis Powers Hetalia/Sandman, America and the Endless; R, ~4480 words)
Chinese Takeout (DDS/X, O'Brian/Subaru; PG-13, ~3000 words)
Ficlets
Heart Still Beating (Firefly, Zoe/Wash; R, 610 words)
Ends of the World (DDS/Utena, Akio/Heat; R, 400 words)
Drinking from a Broken Cup (DDS, Roland/Argilla; NC-17, 770 words)
The Space Between (Persona 3, Akihiko/Junpei; R, 770 words)
Toast (BSG, Kara/Leoben; PG-13, 740 words)
Fade (Yami no Matsuei, Tsuzuki/Hisoka; R, 510 words)
Implication (Death Note, Light/L; NC-17, 400 words)
As Good As Another (BSG, Kara/Sam(/Leoben); R, 310 words)
Breakdown by Rating:
7 PG
16 PG-13
15 R
8 NC-17
Breakdown by Fandom: (crossovers included)
15 Tokyo Babylon/X
8 Digital Devil Saga
5 Battlestar Galactica
5 Yami no Matsuei
4 Axis Powers Hetalia
4 Baccano!
4 Final Fantasy XII
4 Sandman
3 Persona 3
2 Death Note
1 Code Geass
1 Final Fantasy VII
1 Firefly
1 Utena
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
More, actually -- certainly more in terms of sheer wordcount. I got verbose this year? *smiles* In terms of what I predicted I'd write for 2008 at the beginning of the year, I'm not sure that I had any concrete predictions, other than "hey there's this Fortune and Fools thing and I think there will be challenges, too."
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January 2008?
Well, I didn't expect I'd rediscover my love for Tokyo Babylon/X. (Even if I reread TB during spring '07 and sobbed my little heart out. Again.) And I never thought I'd write fic for Yami no Matsuei, either. I guess there's a common thread here, the whole "Puel looks back at stories she loved when she was younger but with a different perspective this time around and finds new ways to look at them and play with them" thing. It's interesting, especially with TB/X and YnM, comparing my initial reactions to the canons with how I view them now...I guess Hetalia counts, too, in that I never thought I'd be writing about gay countries. Or that I'd be writing porn about gay countries. I am going to stop pretending that I have standards. Because I don't.
Pairingwise? Well, Roland/Argilla didn't ping me until Mith gave me the het_challenge prompt, and now I kind of adore them. And Heat/Subaru should go here, too. (even if it makes sense. in my head. shutup.)
Genrewise, I wrote far more gen this year than I did last year, which is probably why my fics got longer -- now they have plots! Even a lot of the ostensible pairingfic I wrote had the pairing itself as a secondary focus.
Did you take any writing risks this year? (See above for unexpected pairings, etc.) What did you learn from them?
RISK: Chaptered fic, for the first time in forever. And finished chaptered fic, too, because if memento mori isn't done by January I will smack things. Namely myself.
RESULT: It's doable, and it's given me the confidence to contemplate even longer projects. I do have to pace myself, though, and in the future, I'm going to wait until I have more headway in longer projects before posting them, so the gaps between chapters won't be as long or erratic.
RISK: Deconstructing the hell out of sex tropes, and exploring how sex can be used in a non-erotic context.
RESULT: Alienated some people, intrigued others, but it's a direction that interests me, because it gets at a lot of underlying assumptions about sex in (fan)fiction and questions them, and I like doing that.
RISK: Upping the intertextuality.
RESULT: Works for some fandoms (like Hetalia) better than others (like DDS). I'm pleased with how they turned out, though, and I'm pleased to be in a fandom that can encompass that kind of exploration, and with fans who find it as fun as I do.
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?
Yyyep.
Fanfic:
a) FINISH MEMENTO MORI YOU DUMBASS
b) Write at least 1000 words every day in January. They don't have to be 1000 words of the same story, but I need to be writing. Consistently. Further monthly goals will be negotiable.
c) Avoid challenges. Try to finish outstanding claims and obligations (like livelongnmarry REMEMBER), but no new challenges unless I can produce a full fic outline for the prompt in question. What this means for 0tp and things like that, I don't know. We'll see.
d) Hetalia, Hetalia, Hetalia.
Profic:
a) I signed up for the 2 Year Novel class at Forward Motion; we'll see what comes of it. (I suspect Fortune and Fools will be scrapped, pillaged, and transformed into my project for this, in which case I'm going to go back and friendslock it. So this is your heads-up.)
b) Also, Ardent must be done by the end of the month. No excuses.
c) Bandiverse. MOAR OF IT.
MOAR OF IT summarizes my fanfic and profic goals this year, I think.
From my past year of writing, what was...
My Favorite Story: -- fuuuuuhck, I don't know. Which is kind of encouraging, because it means I wrote a lot of things that I like. Quintessence of Dust and Etymology, which I consider two halves of the same fic, in a lot of ways. And my Roland-voice is natural in a way few other characters' voices are.
But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention But Then I Shall Know Even As Also I Am Known, or Sub Specie Aeternitatis ( and part two), both of which are Sandman crossovers, so I guess that says something about me and Gaiman.
Military Time and With Himself at War are two of my most solid character portraits, I think. And I will be immensely proud of memento mori when it's finished. (I'm pretty proud of it now, actually.)
My Best Story: My best stuff usually is my favorite, honestly, because it's what I'm proudest of. But if we define "best" by other terms -- my best-received story, or the story I could show to my professors and have them go "ooh" -- then I'd have to pick But Then I Shall Know Even As Also I Am Known. Which is also one of the fics I'm proudest of having written. So everyone wins there, I think.
Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe: Etymology, hands down. Which is a shame, because I think that's one of the best things I've written, period. But apparently the length is a deterrent? Or the pairing? Or the Roland in general?
(Runner up: Military Time, but I know not as many people on my friendslist know BSG, so I was expecting it.)
Most Fun: WAYWARD DAWN. End of story.
Seriously? Scenes from a Sumeragi's Sexual Awakening made me collapse into giggles while I wrote it, and working on Anthem, part one with Mith sitting next to me for most of it is an experience that really can't be duplicated. It was awesome, though.
Most Surprising: The Hetaliafic in general. I did not anticipate I'd be writing fic about gay countries. And Initiation Rites, because for someone who ships Seishirou/Subaru like crazy, I seem to write a surprising amount of Subaru/people who aren't Seishirou. But he's always thinking of Sei?
Most Disappointing: Intent. meeeeeh. Never finished the second part because I was so angry with myself for artificially boosting the rating in the first, and in doing so completely fucking over how I'd characterized Vayne up until then. At least I had Zack's awesome in Wayward Dawn to balance that one out, so January wasn't a total loss ficwise...
Sexiest: You know, despite the fact that fully half the fics I wrote this year were R or NC-17, a lot of them weren't terribly erotic.
and on the surface that's true was, though, and what can I say, there's something really appealing about Subaru on his knees. Or pinned to the kitchen table with his arms cling-wrapped over his head, like in Clearing the Table.
...Kallen beating the hell out of Suzaku while he gets off on it in With Himself at War is also appealing. I wonder what this says about me and what I consider sexy. Ahem.
Sexiest Single Moment: ...eh, let's go with the most conventionally sexy one. From Clearing the Table:
Subaru's probably not doing it very well, but he doesn't even have time to reflect on that, he's too lost in touching Seishirou back, in tracing nonsensical symbols all over the back of his hand and the base of his palm, in squeezing Seishirou's fingers when Seishirou strokes him in earnest. He rocks into Seishirou's hands, into both of them, hates when he retreats because there's less of him touching Seishirou then. His teeth close on Subaru's collarbone and twist and Subaru's voice catches and breaks and splinters; more, please, he thinks he says, but he can't be sure, all he hears is static and the giddy thumping of his heart. The plastic creaks and groans, rubs against itself with wet squeaks. Subaru's voice-Subaru's voice might be higher than those sounds, but it doesn't matter, Seishirou's touching him and he's touching Seishirou even if it's through his sweat-soaked gloves...
He imagines the feel of Seishirou's skin on his bare hand and his hips seize and shake, he can't control it any longer, he can't control anything, he-he's-Seishirou just made him-
Yyyyeah. (Though now I am tempted to be a HORRIBLE PERSON and quote a passage from The Wind, the Sun, and the Eagle. Like I said. Horrible person.)
Hardest to Write: memento mori, for so many reasons. One, it's novella-length, and I haven't attempted anything that long in years. Two, writing Subaru during the time in which the fic takes place hits home in a way I didn't expect it to. And it hurts. And it's hard to drag myself out of that headspace sometimes, which is why I think I've been struggling with the piece -- I can only handle putting myself through so much of that before I have to stop.
Fugue is a sort-of-close second, because it took me a while to find out what makes Minato tick, or at least to find an appropriate answer to that question.
"Holy crap, that's wrong even for you" Fic: Reduction. This fic is now the litmus test for how much I trust my RL friends -- if they know about Reduction, I really trust them.
Fic That Shifted My Own Perceptions of the Characters: I will never look at China the same way after The Wind, the Sun, and the Eagle. I can't. And Fugue resolved the problem of Minato for me, in part.
Most Unintentionally Telling: A lot of my fic is, in some way. You can probably track my mood by the kind of fic I write, actually, or you can if you're familiar with how I tend to react and respond to things.
That being said, the answer to this one might be a little surprising: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Minato? is, I think, pretty telling, especially for a mostly-humorous fic. Or maybe it's telling because it's a mostly-humorous fic.
Well, that's 2008. Bring on the new year!
...also, time to write 1000 words like I said I would. Hold on, I think I hear Potsdam calling...
Fic
January
Intent (FFXII, Vayne/Penelo and Larsa/Penelo; PG-13, ~4000 words)
(And then there was Eternity: Wayward Dawn, where I sponsored Zack Fair, which is why I'm putting this on the fanfic list. PG-13 (...for Zack, at least), ~22,000 words.)
February
Fortune and Fools, chapter one (FFXII AU, Balthier, Zecht, and others; PG, 5100 words)
You Can't Go Home Again (FFXII, Balthier/Fran; PG, 3450 words)
Marriage of True Minds (Baccano!, Claire/Chane; R, 1200 words)
Nirvana (DDS/X, Heat/Subaru; R, 2115 words)
March
Monuments to Masks (BSG, Kara/Leoben; PG-13, 1086 words)
Bet, Raise, Call (Baccano!, Luck/Firo; PG-13, 1430 words)
Fortune and Fools, chapter two (FFXII AU, Balthier, Zecht, and others; PG, 4340 words)
April
How Do You Solve a Problem Like Minato? (Persona 3, Junpei and the cast; PG, 3440 words)
Hands in the Dark (X, Seishirou/Subaru; NC-17, 1460 words)
Glass (Baccano!, Luck/Eve; PG, 890 words)
Quintessence of Dust (DDS, Roland/Argilla; PG-13, 5050 words)
May
Nova (Death Note, Light/Misa; NC-17, 2310 words)
pand [emonium]/[ora] (Tokyo Babylon, Seishirou/Subaru, Hokuto; PG, 3616 words)
June
and on the surface that's true (X, Seishirou/Subaru; NC-17, 2200 words)
Waiting Game (BSG, Adama/Roslin; PG, 1000 words)
Reduction (DDS, Heat/Jenna/Sera; NC-17, 3425 words)
Never Have I Ever (1) (X, Dragons of Heaven; PG-13, 3300 words)
Right but Not Correct (DDS/X, O'Brian/Subaru; NC-17, 2500 words)
Splinter (X, Kamui-->Subaru; PG-13, 2565 words)
July
Military Time (BSG, Baltar/Gaeta; PG-13, ~4000 words)
Etymology (DDS, Roland/Argilla, Roland-->Greg; PG-13, 7000 words)
But Then I Shall Know Even As Also I Am Known (Baccano!/Sandman, Vino/Corinthian; R, ~3100 words)
August
Scenes from a Sumeragi's Sexual Awakening (Tokyo Babylon, Seishirou/Subaru, Hokuto; R, 2650 words)
Initiation Rites (X, Fuuma/Yuuto/Kanoe/Subaru; NC-17, 3620 words)
memento mori, chapter one (X/Yami no Matsuei, Subaru, Tsuzuki, Hisoka; PG-13, 4370 words)
memento mori, chapter two (X/Yami no Matsuei, Subaru, Tsuzuki, Hisoka; PG-13, 5106 words)
September
memento mori, chapter three (X/Yami no Matsuei, Subaru, Tsuzuki, Hisoka; PG-13, 4947 words)
October
With Himself at War (Code Geass, Suzaku/Kallen, Lloyd; R, ~4000 words)
Clearing the Table (Tokyo Babylon, Seishirou/Subaru; R, ~1200 words)
November
memento mori, chapter four (X/Yami no Matsuei, Subaru, Tsuzuki, Hisoka; PG-13, ~5000 words)
Fugue (Persona 3, Minato and the cast; PG-13, ~2600 words)
Anthem, part one (Axis Powers Hetalia, America, France; R, 3800 words)
December
The Wind, the Sun, and the Eagle (Axis Powers Hetalia, Russia/China; R, ~2800 words)
Sub Specie Aeternitatis, part one (Axis Powers Hetalia/Sandman, America and the Endless; R, ~4100 words)
Sub Specie Aeternitatis, part two (Axis Powers Hetalia/Sandman, America and the Endless; R, ~4480 words)
Chinese Takeout (DDS/X, O'Brian/Subaru; PG-13, ~3000 words)
Ficlets
Heart Still Beating (Firefly, Zoe/Wash; R, 610 words)
Ends of the World (DDS/Utena, Akio/Heat; R, 400 words)
Drinking from a Broken Cup (DDS, Roland/Argilla; NC-17, 770 words)
The Space Between (Persona 3, Akihiko/Junpei; R, 770 words)
Toast (BSG, Kara/Leoben; PG-13, 740 words)
Fade (Yami no Matsuei, Tsuzuki/Hisoka; R, 510 words)
Implication (Death Note, Light/L; NC-17, 400 words)
As Good As Another (BSG, Kara/Sam(/Leoben); R, 310 words)
Breakdown by Rating:
7 PG
16 PG-13
15 R
8 NC-17
Breakdown by Fandom: (crossovers included)
15 Tokyo Babylon/X
8 Digital Devil Saga
5 Battlestar Galactica
5 Yami no Matsuei
4 Axis Powers Hetalia
4 Baccano!
4 Final Fantasy XII
4 Sandman
3 Persona 3
2 Death Note
1 Code Geass
1 Final Fantasy VII
1 Firefly
1 Utena
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
More, actually -- certainly more in terms of sheer wordcount. I got verbose this year? *smiles* In terms of what I predicted I'd write for 2008 at the beginning of the year, I'm not sure that I had any concrete predictions, other than "hey there's this Fortune and Fools thing and I think there will be challenges, too."
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January 2008?
Well, I didn't expect I'd rediscover my love for Tokyo Babylon/X. (Even if I reread TB during spring '07 and sobbed my little heart out. Again.) And I never thought I'd write fic for Yami no Matsuei, either. I guess there's a common thread here, the whole "Puel looks back at stories she loved when she was younger but with a different perspective this time around and finds new ways to look at them and play with them" thing. It's interesting, especially with TB/X and YnM, comparing my initial reactions to the canons with how I view them now...I guess Hetalia counts, too, in that I never thought I'd be writing about gay countries. Or that I'd be writing porn about gay countries. I am going to stop pretending that I have standards. Because I don't.
Pairingwise? Well, Roland/Argilla didn't ping me until Mith gave me the het_challenge prompt, and now I kind of adore them. And Heat/Subaru should go here, too. (even if it makes sense. in my head. shutup.)
Genrewise, I wrote far more gen this year than I did last year, which is probably why my fics got longer -- now they have plots! Even a lot of the ostensible pairingfic I wrote had the pairing itself as a secondary focus.
Did you take any writing risks this year? (See above for unexpected pairings, etc.) What did you learn from them?
RISK: Chaptered fic, for the first time in forever. And finished chaptered fic, too, because if memento mori isn't done by January I will smack things. Namely myself.
RESULT: It's doable, and it's given me the confidence to contemplate even longer projects. I do have to pace myself, though, and in the future, I'm going to wait until I have more headway in longer projects before posting them, so the gaps between chapters won't be as long or erratic.
RISK: Deconstructing the hell out of sex tropes, and exploring how sex can be used in a non-erotic context.
RESULT: Alienated some people, intrigued others, but it's a direction that interests me, because it gets at a lot of underlying assumptions about sex in (fan)fiction and questions them, and I like doing that.
RISK: Upping the intertextuality.
RESULT: Works for some fandoms (like Hetalia) better than others (like DDS). I'm pleased with how they turned out, though, and I'm pleased to be in a fandom that can encompass that kind of exploration, and with fans who find it as fun as I do.
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?
Yyyep.
Fanfic:
a) FINISH MEMENTO MORI YOU DUMBASS
b) Write at least 1000 words every day in January. They don't have to be 1000 words of the same story, but I need to be writing. Consistently. Further monthly goals will be negotiable.
c) Avoid challenges. Try to finish outstanding claims and obligations (like livelongnmarry REMEMBER), but no new challenges unless I can produce a full fic outline for the prompt in question. What this means for 0tp and things like that, I don't know. We'll see.
d) Hetalia, Hetalia, Hetalia.
Profic:
a) I signed up for the 2 Year Novel class at Forward Motion; we'll see what comes of it. (I suspect Fortune and Fools will be scrapped, pillaged, and transformed into my project for this, in which case I'm going to go back and friendslock it. So this is your heads-up.)
b) Also, Ardent must be done by the end of the month. No excuses.
c) Bandiverse. MOAR OF IT.
MOAR OF IT summarizes my fanfic and profic goals this year, I think.
From my past year of writing, what was...
My Favorite Story: -- fuuuuuhck, I don't know. Which is kind of encouraging, because it means I wrote a lot of things that I like. Quintessence of Dust and Etymology, which I consider two halves of the same fic, in a lot of ways. And my Roland-voice is natural in a way few other characters' voices are.
But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention But Then I Shall Know Even As Also I Am Known, or Sub Specie Aeternitatis ( and part two), both of which are Sandman crossovers, so I guess that says something about me and Gaiman.
Military Time and With Himself at War are two of my most solid character portraits, I think. And I will be immensely proud of memento mori when it's finished. (I'm pretty proud of it now, actually.)
My Best Story: My best stuff usually is my favorite, honestly, because it's what I'm proudest of. But if we define "best" by other terms -- my best-received story, or the story I could show to my professors and have them go "ooh" -- then I'd have to pick But Then I Shall Know Even As Also I Am Known. Which is also one of the fics I'm proudest of having written. So everyone wins there, I think.
Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe: Etymology, hands down. Which is a shame, because I think that's one of the best things I've written, period. But apparently the length is a deterrent? Or the pairing? Or the Roland in general?
(Runner up: Military Time, but I know not as many people on my friendslist know BSG, so I was expecting it.)
Most Fun: WAYWARD DAWN. End of story.
Seriously? Scenes from a Sumeragi's Sexual Awakening made me collapse into giggles while I wrote it, and working on Anthem, part one with Mith sitting next to me for most of it is an experience that really can't be duplicated. It was awesome, though.
Most Surprising: The Hetaliafic in general. I did not anticipate I'd be writing fic about gay countries. And Initiation Rites, because for someone who ships Seishirou/Subaru like crazy, I seem to write a surprising amount of Subaru/people who aren't Seishirou. But he's always thinking of Sei?
Most Disappointing: Intent. meeeeeh. Never finished the second part because I was so angry with myself for artificially boosting the rating in the first, and in doing so completely fucking over how I'd characterized Vayne up until then. At least I had Zack's awesome in Wayward Dawn to balance that one out, so January wasn't a total loss ficwise...
Sexiest: You know, despite the fact that fully half the fics I wrote this year were R or NC-17, a lot of them weren't terribly erotic.
and on the surface that's true was, though, and what can I say, there's something really appealing about Subaru on his knees. Or pinned to the kitchen table with his arms cling-wrapped over his head, like in Clearing the Table.
...Kallen beating the hell out of Suzaku while he gets off on it in With Himself at War is also appealing. I wonder what this says about me and what I consider sexy. Ahem.
Sexiest Single Moment: ...eh, let's go with the most conventionally sexy one. From Clearing the Table:
Subaru's probably not doing it very well, but he doesn't even have time to reflect on that, he's too lost in touching Seishirou back, in tracing nonsensical symbols all over the back of his hand and the base of his palm, in squeezing Seishirou's fingers when Seishirou strokes him in earnest. He rocks into Seishirou's hands, into both of them, hates when he retreats because there's less of him touching Seishirou then. His teeth close on Subaru's collarbone and twist and Subaru's voice catches and breaks and splinters; more, please, he thinks he says, but he can't be sure, all he hears is static and the giddy thumping of his heart. The plastic creaks and groans, rubs against itself with wet squeaks. Subaru's voice-Subaru's voice might be higher than those sounds, but it doesn't matter, Seishirou's touching him and he's touching Seishirou even if it's through his sweat-soaked gloves...
He imagines the feel of Seishirou's skin on his bare hand and his hips seize and shake, he can't control it any longer, he can't control anything, he-he's-Seishirou just made him-
Yyyyeah. (Though now I am tempted to be a HORRIBLE PERSON and quote a passage from The Wind, the Sun, and the Eagle. Like I said. Horrible person.)
Hardest to Write: memento mori, for so many reasons. One, it's novella-length, and I haven't attempted anything that long in years. Two, writing Subaru during the time in which the fic takes place hits home in a way I didn't expect it to. And it hurts. And it's hard to drag myself out of that headspace sometimes, which is why I think I've been struggling with the piece -- I can only handle putting myself through so much of that before I have to stop.
Fugue is a sort-of-close second, because it took me a while to find out what makes Minato tick, or at least to find an appropriate answer to that question.
"Holy crap, that's wrong even for you" Fic: Reduction. This fic is now the litmus test for how much I trust my RL friends -- if they know about Reduction, I really trust them.
Fic That Shifted My Own Perceptions of the Characters: I will never look at China the same way after The Wind, the Sun, and the Eagle. I can't. And Fugue resolved the problem of Minato for me, in part.
Most Unintentionally Telling: A lot of my fic is, in some way. You can probably track my mood by the kind of fic I write, actually, or you can if you're familiar with how I tend to react and respond to things.
That being said, the answer to this one might be a little surprising: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Minato? is, I think, pretty telling, especially for a mostly-humorous fic. Or maybe it's telling because it's a mostly-humorous fic.
Well, that's 2008. Bring on the new year!
...also, time to write 1000 words like I said I would. Hold on, I think I hear Potsdam calling...