memento mori, Chapter Four (X/Yami no Matsuei, Subaru, Tsuzuki, Hisoka)

[puella_nerdii]

Yeah. Fricken' finally.

I ended up having to split this in two, because Subaru-and-Hisoka POV would have made this chapter far too long.

I -- I fail at writing. orz. And at self-imposed deadlines. So I will not make any promises when Chapter Five's coming out, except to say that it will, really. I'm looking at seven chapters total now, not

Comments

[japanimecrazed]

Exciting chapter! I liked all of Subaru's observations about Tsuzuki's smile. The revelation that Subaru can't die was nicely done, and I liked that it came from Tsuzuki. Their entire conversation was great.

[puella_nerdii]

Thanks so much! I loved writing their conversation, and how they both tacitly acknowledge how much they're hiding. And yeah, the revelation -- this story sorta-fits in with mithrigil's larger Timestamp series, so this is the moment in that when he's first cognizant of the fact that he's not going to die until the state doesn't need the Sakurazukamori any more. Which is, for Subaru, a fate far worse than death.

Subaru never gets nice things. Ever.

[mithrigil]

The way you tied this in with so many TB cases directly is just fabulous. It really does go in cycles, and you show it, and it ROCKS.

Also, the power disbalance and the revelations through all of it--in particular, that one--made it so clear how Subaru is just coming to terms with never feeling. It's beautiful and subtle.

late comment is laaaaaaaaate.

[puella_nerdii]

Heh, you know my thing about cycles. *griiiiin*

Subaru might be coming to terms with it, but this scene hurt like a bitch to write. SUBARU NEVER REALIZES HOW MUCH PAIN HIS ACTIONS CAUSE OTHER PEOPLE. OR HE JUST DOESN'T CARE. PRICK.

[twistedsheets10]

Oh God, the conversation between Tsuzuki and Subaru, it was just, i duuno, deliciously WTH angst and all, and I just feel for both of them. Damn, if a frank conversation between Tsuzuki and Subaru is like this, I can't imagine how it would be like between Hisoka and Subaru. I loved the way they talked about what it is to be human, how Subaru asks about Hisoka and just...gah.

I thought the definite highlight of this chapter was this line:

“You’re like us, Sumeragi-san. You-you exist, but you’re not alive. And if you’re not alive, you can’t die.”

and then reading further, I got sucker-punched with this:

Tsuzuki pauses, considering. “See,” he says, “that’s the thing. I don’t know if I’m really living.”

I think this might be the website you had in mind? Or am I completely wrong?

[twistedsheets10]

And Subaru's not feeling any emotions is just...augh. Truly, it's like he's not alive anymore; he might be physically, but inside he's just...dead.

[puella_nerdii]

(I think that's it, yes.)

Oh, Hisoka and Subaru still have two more Serious Conversations left in this. *griiiiiiiiiiiiiin*

And yeah, I think those two lines are my favorites, too. Just. If you want to encapsulate what's going on with those two, it's that.

[etrangere]

ouch ouch ouch. There's something deeply ironic in having Subaru advice Tsuzuki and vice verca XD also yay for magical battles!

[puella_nerdii]

THEY ARE THE LAST PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE GIVING ANYONE ADVICE. And yet. *grin*

I love magical battles. Love them love them love them.

[fire_rose17]

Are you ever going to update this? Just tell me you haven't abandoned it. I need to know that there's light at the end of the tunnel.