desperate attempt to get my thoughts straight

[puddlewondrful]

i always want to write just one more entry in this dusty old thing that is my livejournal. however, i can never come up with the correct words. i have seen this blank box a couple dozen times. and still nothing comes to mind. even my last post was only a silly photo. i have so much to say. i could write about the boy who i am living with, who i am going to marry. i could write about how i may be moving to seattle. i could write about how i am going back to school. i could write about how frustrated i am with money and how i never seem to have enough. i could write about how much i miss san luis and the beautiful people it holds. i could write about how my car needs an oil change. i could write about how much i hate my job. i could write about how even though i feel good about quitting smoking, i still hate myself for doing so because i crave a cigarette every day, and dont have one.

or...
i could just leave everything vague. like that.

and walk away from my computer and pretend as if nothing happened.

my fingers never touched the key board.

and my stomach is still in knots.