(no subject)
I just have to write...
Today has been the weirdest of days. This week I was very honest with Melvin. I told him I'm not looking for anyone else. I can't do it. I try and flirt with these guys... and it's all fun... but I end up admitting to the guys that there is someone special to me...
He brought me back something from Orlando... but I don't know what it is yet...
I talked to Mike... yes we all remember Mike and the anguish and everything I went through... how hard it was for me to give him up and move on... my best friend of 8 years...
Tonight we had a long talk for the first time in over a year, I think...
I discovered that if I had made the move that night meeting him in Nashvile... we would have had much more than just a friendship... he was worried that it would ruin our friendship.... and he didn't' want to risk it... teh funny part is... it still ruinned it... it's never been the same...
Marriage does that... especially when best friends are opposite sex....
He said he didn't want to be the creepy internet guy... and late in the conversation I reminded him that he wouldn't have been the creepy internet guy... he was my best friend... the one person in the world that knew everything about me. Things my family didn't even know... he said he was going to marry me... and I would have done it...
Where does that leave everything now?
At peace...
In a weird sense... I have closure... I discovered that he was just as crazy about me as I was about him... We were just two young people scared of being hurt. It's nice to know that it just wasn't a one-sided love... that he cared too...
There's nothing we can do about it now... he's married... and seems happy about it... and I've finally moved on with my life without him even in it as a friend...
I do miss him... he always had the right thing to say...
But I think I have my replacement.... well my new love... Melvin...
They're a lot alike... yet very different...
It's true... there is more than one person in the world for you to love at different points in your life...
I'm lucky... I've found two so far...
Today has been the weirdest of days. This week I was very honest with Melvin. I told him I'm not looking for anyone else. I can't do it. I try and flirt with these guys... and it's all fun... but I end up admitting to the guys that there is someone special to me...
He brought me back something from Orlando... but I don't know what it is yet...
I talked to Mike... yes we all remember Mike and the anguish and everything I went through... how hard it was for me to give him up and move on... my best friend of 8 years...
Tonight we had a long talk for the first time in over a year, I think...
I discovered that if I had made the move that night meeting him in Nashvile... we would have had much more than just a friendship... he was worried that it would ruin our friendship.... and he didn't' want to risk it... teh funny part is... it still ruinned it... it's never been the same...
Marriage does that... especially when best friends are opposite sex....
He said he didn't want to be the creepy internet guy... and late in the conversation I reminded him that he wouldn't have been the creepy internet guy... he was my best friend... the one person in the world that knew everything about me. Things my family didn't even know... he said he was going to marry me... and I would have done it...
Where does that leave everything now?
At peace...
In a weird sense... I have closure... I discovered that he was just as crazy about me as I was about him... We were just two young people scared of being hurt. It's nice to know that it just wasn't a one-sided love... that he cared too...
There's nothing we can do about it now... he's married... and seems happy about it... and I've finally moved on with my life without him even in it as a friend...
I do miss him... he always had the right thing to say...
But I think I have my replacement.... well my new love... Melvin...
They're a lot alike... yet very different...
It's true... there is more than one person in the world for you to love at different points in your life...
I'm lucky... I've found two so far...