5 reasons the galaxy speaks so much English
The thing about faster than light travel is that you are travelling through time as well as space. Sure most of the time if something goes wrong part way through a wormhole or a ship has a massive mechanical failure in hyperdrive the result is having your molecules scattered through the universe. But SG-1 are not the only people to have beaten what should have been unbeatable odds.
Here are the stories of 5 people who were thrown back in time and how they brought English to the galaxy.
1.
Thrud had been born Thor’s daughter may millennia ago. Although the Asguard no longer recognise family relationships they have remained close. He taught her the language of O’Neill and told her of his hopes for this brave young race. When her ship was taken over by replicators she attempted to set the self destruct however the mechanism must have been damaged by the bugs and she ended up travelling almost 1000 years back in time. Thor rescued her and destroyed her infected ship.
It took Thrud and Thor three weeks to build a device powerful enough to transport her forward in time. She could not talk with her father as they had once done without disturbing time time stream. Instead she taught him English as he had once taught her.
2.
The G’ould Min, had modelled himself after the Egyptian god of fertility. Truth be told for a G’ould, he had very little interest in taking over the world. His goal had always been to have the largest and most erotic harem.
There were a lot of things Min liked about the Tauri, first on the list was the internet. Min had thousands of years experience with sex and erotica, but nothing prepared him for the volume and variety of Tauri porn. Unfortunately Min was concentrating a little too hard on his latest download and not on shielding his a’kesh when in a low orbit around Earth. Min realised he had been found and leapt into hyperspace just as he was hit. Somehow the blast sent his ship back in time to a period when the earth had a much lower porn production level. Min got out of there, but he kept all his downloads and taught all his harem English so they could appreciate the plotlines.
3.
Darnet and her host Charelle were on a scouting mission for the Tok’ra. With the Goauld gone the Tok’ra have a far smaller pool of akesh to scavenge parts from. This particular akesh has had something wrong with the hyperdrive navigation for a while, but while it has remained operational, they have not spared the resources to fix it. However, when the hyperdrive finally failed it became clear that perhaps they should have examined in sooner.
The Tok’ra of 200 years ago are happy to add another member to their ranks when they realise what has occurred. However, Charelle in particular struggles with the transition. Charelle was once close with Jacob Carter and she shares his resistance to doing nothing. Darnet too realises how stagnant the Tok’ra were before they met the Tauri. She avoids her former host and younger self, afraid she would be unable to resist yelling at them to get their act together.
Darnet is constantly restraining Charelle from sharing things that would fracture the timeline. They compromise by teaching the Tok’ra English; it is after all one of many languages spoken across the galaxy. They do not share how important it will be. But many of the Tok’ra take note of Charelle’s optimistic smile as they mouth the unfamiliar syllables.
4.
Joesten is a salesman. He goes wherever the money is. Unfortunately, he may have followed the money a little too closely and got caught up in a fire fight between the Tauri and the Lucian Alliance. He had dialled the Stargate and jumped before a blast could take out the whole platform. Somehow after the roughest wormhole of his life he ends up back on the planet he had just left but 465 years before the Tauri are due to arrive.
With his knowledge of the future and a salesman’s skill of using every advantage he sets up a successful trading business. He also sets about teaching all his trading partners roman numerals and some basic English. The G’ould have used Ancient Egyptian for thousands of years and as a language it has worked well. But any salesman quickly realises that there are some issues with hieroglyphics numerals. There is not a number for zero, which is needed for some of his best tricks and the numbers take so long to write, speed is essential in for closing some of his best deals.
5.
Gul’uk was a free Jaffa, an accountant for the Jaffa government. He had been born and raised on Dakara hearing the stories of Teal’c and the brave warriors who had fought and sacrificed for freedom. His job was important and he contributed to the Jaffa cause, but he often chafed at his calm life, there were no epic battles or heroic missions.
One day, a routine trip through the Stargate malfunctions and leaves him in a Dakara of the distant past. He gates to Chulack with grand dreams of joining the rebellion, but he has come too early, there is no rebellion, and he is quickly taken prisoner my Apophis. One of the junior guards is named Bra’tac; Gul’uk shares his tale of time travel thrilled to be speaking with the Bra’tac of legend. When Apophis kills him Gul’uks last thought is disillusionment with his former hero. However the English Gul’uk has taught Bray’tac, he will pass on to Teal’c, which will change the galaxy forever.