Another post about another boy (but this one is sticking around)
Writing from 2/15/13- a day without my phone in the cities away from this boy who has brought me so much bliss in the last month, its uncanny.
Its scary. terrifying, frightening, creepy, and exhilarating. Fun. Happy, exciting, and comforting. I hesitate to give you so much power, but as I say that, I shove it at you, begging you to keep it safe for me. I trust that you will. I trust, more than I ever have before, and I'm terrified about that, but at the same time, I'm so comfortable with it and exuberant about it. I want to give you more, I want you involved, present, available, and there. So far, you have proven to me that you will be all of those things and you will kiss me gently while you do it.
And I'm so grateful, so incredibly grateful.
And so today, I'll think of you, and write words down on paper because I have no phone to contact you. So I will take the happy memories running through my mind and replay them as I sit. I will think about you while I think and I will hope your nose it itching so you know I'm sending you warm thoughts.
I cant wait to wake up beside you, turn my head to find your lips, and give your beard a pet. its a nice excuse to caress your cheek, to keep my hand on your face. It helps to steady myself when I'm lost in your green-orange eyes, darting back and forth between mine. Nothing in between us, not clothes or glasses or blankets. Not miles or technology, or people. Just you and I and the lingering feeling of sleepies.
But you'll pull me close, and give me a squeeze, and nothing will seem bad, or rushed, or anxious. But we'll be relaxed and together and safe; we'll be complete for the moment. We'll be renewed and ready to fight the day. Together or apart, I know we can do it, because we have each other.
Its scary. terrifying, frightening, creepy, and exhilarating. Fun. Happy, exciting, and comforting. I hesitate to give you so much power, but as I say that, I shove it at you, begging you to keep it safe for me. I trust that you will. I trust, more than I ever have before, and I'm terrified about that, but at the same time, I'm so comfortable with it and exuberant about it. I want to give you more, I want you involved, present, available, and there. So far, you have proven to me that you will be all of those things and you will kiss me gently while you do it.
And I'm so grateful, so incredibly grateful.
And so today, I'll think of you, and write words down on paper because I have no phone to contact you. So I will take the happy memories running through my mind and replay them as I sit. I will think about you while I think and I will hope your nose it itching so you know I'm sending you warm thoughts.
I cant wait to wake up beside you, turn my head to find your lips, and give your beard a pet. its a nice excuse to caress your cheek, to keep my hand on your face. It helps to steady myself when I'm lost in your green-orange eyes, darting back and forth between mine. Nothing in between us, not clothes or glasses or blankets. Not miles or technology, or people. Just you and I and the lingering feeling of sleepies.
But you'll pull me close, and give me a squeeze, and nothing will seem bad, or rushed, or anxious. But we'll be relaxed and together and safe; we'll be complete for the moment. We'll be renewed and ready to fight the day. Together or apart, I know we can do it, because we have each other.