I do things
I'm looking at a button on Melanie's wall that says Morons with a slash through it. I thought it said Mormons, and so I stood up and applauded. I suppose I could still applaud to the i'm against moron's statement, except it turns out that I am one.
I just looked at a stuffed animal when Melanie told me to. For a split second I thought it was real, and that he was going to get up and do a little jig for me. But, alas, he remains a heap on the black couch...oddly enough, suddenly I'm becoming sexually aroused by the red plush of a teddy bear. This is why it's important for a therapist to return my phone calls.
I recently swallowed the Thimble from a Monopoly game. It's maddening because now I can only pick up Christian radio in my head.
I shit on another futon yesterday. I publicly apologized to Art Van, but they refused to have it.
I had a dream about sex with Bam Margera. Um...I don't really have anything else to say to that.
I've often wondered what it's like to stick my dick in a freshly packed christmas cookie tin. I will only do that if it's filled with snickerdoodles.
I stepped on a tack last night as I was heading to bed. It's funny because I actually woke up on the floor of my hallway in a pile of my own fecal matter and half of my face paralyzed. I should have known the tack was set there by Greenpeace. Fuckers.
I've just been asked by Melanie if I've been speared by whales. And the answer is a resounding yes. What can I say? It was for charity!
I ate pasta this evening that was so good, I'm thinking about divorcing my parents and killing Spiro Agnew.
Goodnight
Jeremy
I just looked at a stuffed animal when Melanie told me to. For a split second I thought it was real, and that he was going to get up and do a little jig for me. But, alas, he remains a heap on the black couch...oddly enough, suddenly I'm becoming sexually aroused by the red plush of a teddy bear. This is why it's important for a therapist to return my phone calls.
I recently swallowed the Thimble from a Monopoly game. It's maddening because now I can only pick up Christian radio in my head.
I shit on another futon yesterday. I publicly apologized to Art Van, but they refused to have it.
I had a dream about sex with Bam Margera. Um...I don't really have anything else to say to that.
I've often wondered what it's like to stick my dick in a freshly packed christmas cookie tin. I will only do that if it's filled with snickerdoodles.
I stepped on a tack last night as I was heading to bed. It's funny because I actually woke up on the floor of my hallway in a pile of my own fecal matter and half of my face paralyzed. I should have known the tack was set there by Greenpeace. Fuckers.
I've just been asked by Melanie if I've been speared by whales. And the answer is a resounding yes. What can I say? It was for charity!
I ate pasta this evening that was so good, I'm thinking about divorcing my parents and killing Spiro Agnew.
Goodnight
Jeremy