this is how my mind works
These are my thoughts at tonight's rehearsal in Dearborn. All thoughts are in parenthesis. single quotes within thoughts represent something being sung)
(I wonder if Jeff is coming. I hope he doesn't mind that I sit in the bass section; he'll have to fend for himself. God I'm horny.)
"Hi how are you? Good to see you."
(That guy's old, I wonder if he's gay. They all look gay to me. 'I wish I were in Dixie, hooray, hooray' speaking of which here comes that creepy trailer park guy. God he scares me.')
(Oh my God i have to crap. I knew I shouldn't have eaten prunes before I came here. I think I might have anal leakage. What is anal leakage anyway? what exactly creeps out of your asshole? I probably shouldn't be worried about such things. Here comes Mike from the tenor section. I hope he doesn't talk to me or make too much fuss. I know alot of guys named Mike, don't I?)
(Break. thank God. Maybe I just have to break wind is all, man I keep thinking that girl back in the soprano secction is Anthony. It's the long hair I guess. My butt is involuntarily clenching, I guess Bonnie was right about that. I never noticed it but when I sing my sphincter tightens. I can't believe I'm thinking such childish thoughts, I'm not a typical gay man I suppose. It makes me think the time when I was really litte and wet my pants going down the slide at the park.)
Break, 10 minutes.
(Great. I'm still on using the bathroom here. I'm sure I can hold on. Hmmm...now what's this fresh hell?)
"How are you?"
Good, how are you?
(this is awkward. There's no decent way to end a conversation with her. Just, see you around maybe? 'Aleluia. Aleluia meow.')
"Yeah, I have my 3rd coming in January."
(Mormons must like to fuck an awful lot)
"Cool"
"So how is your...you know....'life'?"
(Shit, I was really hopiong to avoid that. I really don't want to discuss being gay and my romantic life with a Mormon. I know she's judging me. sigh)
"Ok, see you around."
(Wow, she did it for me!)
(Wouldn't it be cool if Kevin had me sing the Mowtown Medley solo in front of all these people? There's no one cute here though that I can wow, and John is at the Library. I won't have a seizure tonight, not here. I may shit my pants, but I will not have a seizure.)
(Time to go already? Why am I sad? I shouldn't be. Oh well. I'm going to break wind in my car."
Love
Jeremy
(I wonder if Jeff is coming. I hope he doesn't mind that I sit in the bass section; he'll have to fend for himself. God I'm horny.)
"Hi how are you? Good to see you."
(That guy's old, I wonder if he's gay. They all look gay to me. 'I wish I were in Dixie, hooray, hooray' speaking of which here comes that creepy trailer park guy. God he scares me.')
(Oh my God i have to crap. I knew I shouldn't have eaten prunes before I came here. I think I might have anal leakage. What is anal leakage anyway? what exactly creeps out of your asshole? I probably shouldn't be worried about such things. Here comes Mike from the tenor section. I hope he doesn't talk to me or make too much fuss. I know alot of guys named Mike, don't I?)
(Break. thank God. Maybe I just have to break wind is all, man I keep thinking that girl back in the soprano secction is Anthony. It's the long hair I guess. My butt is involuntarily clenching, I guess Bonnie was right about that. I never noticed it but when I sing my sphincter tightens. I can't believe I'm thinking such childish thoughts, I'm not a typical gay man I suppose. It makes me think the time when I was really litte and wet my pants going down the slide at the park.)
Break, 10 minutes.
(Great. I'm still on using the bathroom here. I'm sure I can hold on. Hmmm...now what's this fresh hell?)
"How are you?"
Good, how are you?
(this is awkward. There's no decent way to end a conversation with her. Just, see you around maybe? 'Aleluia. Aleluia meow.')
"Yeah, I have my 3rd coming in January."
(Mormons must like to fuck an awful lot)
"Cool"
"So how is your...you know....'life'?"
(Shit, I was really hopiong to avoid that. I really don't want to discuss being gay and my romantic life with a Mormon. I know she's judging me. sigh)
"Ok, see you around."
(Wow, she did it for me!)
(Wouldn't it be cool if Kevin had me sing the Mowtown Medley solo in front of all these people? There's no one cute here though that I can wow, and John is at the Library. I won't have a seizure tonight, not here. I may shit my pants, but I will not have a seizure.)
(Time to go already? Why am I sad? I shouldn't be. Oh well. I'm going to break wind in my car."
Love
Jeremy