[Filter: my eyes only] If I Go Away, Your Heart's Coming, Too.
How do I say how mad I am?
How fucking pissed I am at you?
We're special.
We're fucking special.
And now you're just running
How fucking dare you.
After this paper?
This paper sitting still so carefully folded on my desk like if I touch it, its secrets will escape.
How. Fucking. Dare. You.
How do you get off acting like I'm the one who ruined everything.
You bitch.
You ruined me.
Not the other way around.
You took me and you ripped me apart.
I fucking loved you.
I let myself be vulnerable for you.
I let you hurt me.
I let you hurt me.
Fuck you.
Did you even think about what it was like for me to see you around him?
All over him?
Your tongue down his fucking throat?
And then on the weekends you were mine?
I was the other woman.
How is that fair?
How can you say you wanted to be with me when I was the one on the side?
Then you let me go.
When you want something, someone, you fight for them.
And you let me go.
You let me walk away.
And never stopped smiling.
So bull-fucking-shit.
You didn't want me as much as I wanted you.
How dare you fucking try and throw this in my face.
I loved you more than I thought humanly possibly.
I gave you all I had.
I gave you more than I had to offer.
I gave you bits of a broken soul, and you chewed me up and spat me out.
No.
Fuck you.
You don't get to come here with your Peter Pan quotes like maybe if I had wanted you more, we could've worked out. I always wanted you. I always wanted you more than anything.
So fuck you.
I loved you.
And you missed me.
And still, I hear you reading me these lines even though the only time I've heard you say them is that time in first grade.
You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
I loved you and you fucked me.
You don't get to be the victim.
You don't get to have me.
And yet, somehow, I hope we make it to Neverland one more time.
Somehow, despite everything, I just want us to make it.
Damn you.
How fucking pissed I am at you?
We're special.
We're fucking special.
And now you're just running
How fucking dare you.
After this paper?
This paper sitting still so carefully folded on my desk like if I touch it, its secrets will escape.
How. Fucking. Dare. You.
How do you get off acting like I'm the one who ruined everything.
You bitch.
You ruined me.
Not the other way around.
You took me and you ripped me apart.
I fucking loved you.
I let myself be vulnerable for you.
I let you hurt me.
I let you hurt me.
Fuck you.
Did you even think about what it was like for me to see you around him?
All over him?
Your tongue down his fucking throat?
And then on the weekends you were mine?
I was the other woman.
How is that fair?
How can you say you wanted to be with me when I was the one on the side?
Then you let me go.
When you want something, someone, you fight for them.
And you let me go.
You let me walk away.
And never stopped smiling.
So bull-fucking-shit.
You didn't want me as much as I wanted you.
How dare you fucking try and throw this in my face.
I loved you more than I thought humanly possibly.
I gave you all I had.
I gave you more than I had to offer.
I gave you bits of a broken soul, and you chewed me up and spat me out.
No.
Fuck you.
You don't get to come here with your Peter Pan quotes like maybe if I had wanted you more, we could've worked out. I always wanted you. I always wanted you more than anything.
So fuck you.
I loved you.
And you missed me.
And still, I hear you reading me these lines even though the only time I've heard you say them is that time in first grade.
You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
I loved you and you fucked me.
You don't get to be the victim.
You don't get to have me.
And yet, somehow, I hope we make it to Neverland one more time.
Somehow, despite everything, I just want us to make it.
Damn you.