Fic: How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days
Title: How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days (Glee style)
Pairing: Puck/Kurt
Rating: R/Nc-17 (for the smexing)
Length: ~2500 words (ish)
Summary: After a drunken hook up, Puck is stuck on Kurt, who doesn't return his feelings. All Kurt has to do is convince of Puck of that.
(Based on this prompt at glee_kink. Multiple people told me to move the party over here so I figured why not)
Also! First post at this comm. :D
Day -3:
Get drunk, hook up with your sort-of not-enemy at a party full of all your mutual friends.
"God, Hummell, you're so goddamned tight." "Fuck, get on with it, I don't have all night." "Fucking, prissy little... oooh." "yeeesss"
Day -2:
Be massively embarrassed (and hungover) about the previous night and hope he decides to never mention it again rather than beat you up.
"Tell me it wasn't as bad as I think it was, Mercedes."
"I knew you could hit that high F, boy. And we are sooo going to talk about why you blew that audition."
"Focus, please!"
Day -1:
Lie to your dad about it.
"Is something wrong Kurt? Because you've been bummed since the glee club party, and I thought you were really excited about that. You know you can tell me anything, right? Even if it's a boy thing."
Kurt stared at his father in horror.
"Nothing. It's nothing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with anything."
Kurt fled.
Day 0:
Find out he doesn't have exactly the same opinion on the night as you do.
"Hey, uh, Kurt."
Kurt glanced over at Mercedes, whose eyebrows were somewhere near her hairline. When he looked back, Puck was still standing next to his locker, looking oddly sheepish, holding a handful of bright blue flowers. Kurt took them somewhat reflexively and Puck practically ran off. He turned to Mercedes again.
"Oh hell to the no."
Kurt agreed entirely.
HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN TEN DAYS:
Day 1:
Be firm and direct.
"Puck. Noah. I do not like you. You threw me in dumpsters. And slushied me. And are a neanderthal with bad hair and worse clothes. I do not want to date you. Or have sex with you again. Ok?"
Puck nodded very earnestly. Kurt had a momentary and completely involuntarily thought that Puck being honest was a little adorable. He squashed it.
"I, uh, get that I was a jerk. And that you have no reason to forgive me. But I'm gonna make it up to you."
When Puck shoved the (covered) slushie forward, Kurt took it, since it didn't look like the jock was going anywhere until he did. He waited until Puck was out of sight to take a sip.
Blue Rasberry. His favorite.
Day 2:
Call in reinforcements.
Matt, Mike, Finn and Artie sat at the table in front of him.
"Now, you are all here to help me find a way to stop this nonsense with Puck. I need ideas that will get through his thick skull. The stress is making me break out and products can only do so much!"
The footballers all looked nervous.
"What is it? Just say it."
After some shared glances Finn was silently elected to speak.
"It's just, uh, Puck can get pretty hung up on things. He spent three months convincing Santana just to take his calls."
"He's already threatened the jocks if they upset you," Mike added.
"And there's a rumor that he closed down his pool cleaning business," was Matt's contribution.
Kurt turned to his last refuge of sanity, but Artie looked thoughtful. Kurt glared at him.
"He did ask me what your favorite musical was."
Kurt moaned in despair.
Day 3:
Insult his manliness.
"While I'm forced to admit what happened on Friday wasn't that terrible, it's clear you don't have what it takes to keep up with my needs in ...mppphh!"
Kurt shoved until Puck stepped back, removing his tongue from Kurt's mouth. He pointedly didn't think about what could be transferring from the bathroom wall to his hair and clothes.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
Puck only smirked, pushing back in for another kiss. Kurt was going to tell him off in just one second. As soon as Puck finished that thing he was doing with his hand.
The bell rang and Puck took off. Mercedes was waiting for Kurt outside the bathroom, face disbelieving. Kurt straightened his hair, going for casual.
"What do you expect? I'm sixteen and a guy, after all.
Day 4:
Make him see that you're completely wrong for each other.
Puck was humming along to the reprise of 'no one mourns the wicked', obviously getting into the show. Kurt sat next to him on the couch(a few deliberate feet between them) looking around frantically for an escape route. He'd invited Puck over to hang out expecting him to run screaming from all of Kurt's hobbies but Puck seemed to actually be enjoying himself. He'd offered actual advise (if you counted "that's kind of hot" as advice) about Kurt's choreography for the next glee number, not bitched about the music Kurt had put on in the car (even admitting he liked the song they'd done for football) and now was intently watching Kurt's favorite musical.
"I'm really glad you showed this to me. I mean, I always figured musicals were just stupid couples singing at each other. But this is really cool. The witch is getting a seriously raw deal," Puck said to him, then turned back to the screen.
Kurt was too shocked to protest when Puck closed the distance between them and wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulders.
Day 5:
Let your dad do the dirty work.
When Puck cornered him before third period and asked to hang out again, Kurt was all set to make excuses, then he had a brilliant idea.
"Well, I was planning on having dinner with my dad, but if you want you could join us?" he offered, like it was no big deal.
Cut to a few hours later, and Kurt was in hell.
His dad and Puck were talking about football and laughing like they were best friends. His dad mentioned something Kurt didn't quite catch and then Puck was shaking his head.
"Oh no, I mean, yeah, we worry cause he's so tiny, but honestly if someone got close enough to try and tackle him he'd probably just raise his eyebrow and they'd run away."
"Yeah, that's our Kurt."
They both turned adoring looks on Kurt, who gulped his water so he wouldn't give in to the urge to puke. Or commit ritual suicide.
Day 6:
Focus on the objective.
The backseat of his car, though huge, was still too small to be doing in this. Except Puck had one arm under his hip and two fingers scissoring inside of Kurt, the other hand wrapped around his dick and twisting just so, so Kurt pretty much didn't care. Puck leaned close to whisper obscene things right into Kurt's ear...
-gonna fuck you again, want to all the fucking time, every time I look at you I think about it, every time you sing I think about the sounds you make when I do this-
...and Kurt, to his embarrassment, came with a high pitched moan, spilling into Puck's hand.
He flopped back onto the seat, looked over and noticed Puck was still hard. Well, maybe it wasn't an entire waste. He reached over, opening the door and shoving Puck out.
"We are not dating," he said very, very firmly, letting his lip arch into a perfect sneer.
Puck did that smirking thing that Kurt did not find the least bit sexy.
"Yeah, ok. See you tomorrow."
He strolled off, hips loose and ass swaying and Kurt was hard again, damnit.
Stupid hormones.
Day 7:
Call in (better) reinforcements.
"Girls. I'm desperate. I need your help. This is getting completely out of hand. Santana, you dated Puck, you should know what he can't stand. Rachel, you could make anyone hate you. Tina, you can be surprisingly scary when you want. Mercedes, you're my best friend. Brittany. Uh, Brittany, how about you just tell us if you think of anything. I'm counting on you ladies."
The girls sat silently for a few minutes, until Santana smiled evilly. Kurt was man enough to admit it made him a little frightened, though he didn't show it, of course.
When Kurt cornered Puck and put his plan into action, saying exactly what Santana had told him to. By the time he was done talking Puck looked completely crushed, turning to walk away dejectedly.
"Wait!" Kurt cursed his big mouth and sense of decency.
Puck turned around, looking almost hopeful. Kurt could feel himself give in.
"Look. None of that stuff is true. Santana told me to say it so I could get you to leave me alone. Only, I may be a bitch but I'm not that much of a bitch. I shouldn't have to lie to you to get you to go away. You may be a dumb jock with no style, but you aren't a completely horrible human being, and I refuse to be the kind of person who makes other people feel bad to get what I want. So. I'm sorry I said those things. Now go away."
Puck left. Not without hugging Kurt first.
Kurt chose not to think about the fact that he almost didn't mind.
Day 8:
Make it clear your interests lie elsewhere. That is to say, ignore him and flirt your ass off.
The show choir workshop was perfect. Tons of attractive, talented, gay boys all perfect for Kurt to flirt with. Puck would have to realize Kurt wasn't interested.
Except the day went on and the jock didn't seem to be taking the hint. Kurt flirted his butt off, got groped several times, kissed twice and had several very interesting propositions, and by the end of the day Puck wasn't backing off, he just glowered at everyone who came near Kurt (even the girls) and looked ready to commit murder.
Kurt snuck off to fix his hair (that one boy from Vocal Adrenaline did not know how to keep his hand to himself) when Puck cornered him in the bathroom (again) and pushed him up against the mirror. He thought he should protest except he was having trouble thinking with Puck's hands inside his clothes, one already getting his jeans open and the other reaching up his shirt to run against his spine. Puck was doing the talking in his ear thing again, which Kurt was man enough to admit was a little hot.
"Fuck, Kurt, I couldn't stand watching you all day, being such a little slut. You had the girls distract me, didn't you, so I couldn't beat the crap out of those boys who thought they could touch you, god, it was the hottest thing ever, seeing your pissy little looks when they tried to get you all rumpled, the way they looked when you turned them down flat, it was perfect, you're perfect and so fucking hot. Knew you'd be waiting for me, because only I get to do this, only I get to mess you up."
And Kurt was messed up, Puck had gotten his own pants open too, had wrapped his hand around both their dicks, and was jacking them off together. It was hot and wet and somehow his legs had gotten hooked around Puck's hips and he was being held up against the mirror. He wasn't making any embarrassing noises this time but only because he had his mouth on Puck's neck, sucking a mark onto the skin.
Those Vocal Adrenaline girls had been all over Puck, and just because Kurt didn't want him didn't mean he was without pride.
Day 9:
Give him an impossible ultimatum.
Puck was waiting for him in the parking lot at school the next day, taking Kurt's bag without prompting.
"Look. Puck. Noah. I accept that you like me, but I'm not going to be some secret fling. I expect my man to be out and proud. If you can't accept everyone knowing, then you just aren't good enough for me."
He put every bit of attitude he could into his voice and when he was finished, he snatched his bag back and did a perfect (if he did say so himself) stomp off, leaving Puck to walk in alone. Kurt figured that was the end of it, and tried not to examine why that made him sigh just a little bit. Everything he said was true, he reminded himself.
Since he'd already closed the mental book on the Puck issue, he wasn't expecting the jock to stand up the table next to the gleeks in the middle of lunch. Kurt watched, horrified, as Puck started talking.
"Listen up. Kurt Hummell is my boyfriend. And if anyone gives me or him shit about it, I'll beat the crap out if you. You're all just jealous because you don't have a piece of that fine ass."
Puck looked down at Kurt for a second, then back at the shocked students.
"Oh, and lay off the gleeks too. First person to slushie a gleek gets their head stuffed in a toilet."
And since the plumbing was broken again, that was a decent threat. Kurt was oddly touched. That still didn't mean he was happy when Puck jumped down, wandered over to take the seat next to Kurt, and wrap his arm around the smaller boy. The only reason Kurt didn't stop him was because he didn't want to cause another scene. He'd talk to Puck later.
Kurt ignored the looks the rest of the table was shooting him.
Day 10:
Resort to drastic measures.
Kurt was dragging his third suitcase up the stairs when his dad came home. He stopped Kurt in the hallway, looking at the pile of luggage next to the front door.
"Something wrong, son?"
"Nothing. I'm running away to New York. I promise to call."
His dad nodded, not blocking his path. He had the best dad ever.
"Ok. Say, this wouldn't have anything to do with your boyfriend, would it?"
Scratch that, he had the most horrible dad in the world.
"I DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"
Kurt didn't like pitch that comment reached. His dad did stop him then, one hand on Kurt's shoulder.
"Did you guys break up? It's ok if you did, but I thought you two really liked each other."
"We were never dating. There is not, nor was there ever, any boyfriend. And even if there was a boyfriend, it would definitely not be Noah."
His dad shrugged in that whatever-you-say way he had.
"If you say so. But can I ask you a question Kurt?"
Kurt reluctantly nodded.
"Does he make you happy? Because it seems like you've been pretty happy the last week or so, and that's all that matters to me."
With that, his dad wandered off, leaving Kurt with three suitcases and a lot of thinking that had finally caught up with him.
Day 11:
Accept defeat.
Noah was once more waiting for him at school, and this time Kurt just let him take his bag. He wrapped an arm through Noah's and led him towards the building.
"Just so you know, if you cheat on me I'm going to cut off your balls and mount them on my wall."
Noah just laughed, looking not at all threatened.
"Seems fair. While you're at it you should get my dick stuffed, that way you can still get some use out of it."
Kurt feigned outrage while giggling at Noah's crude joke. They walked into the school together and Kurt found he didn't care about the other students' looks.
Day 11: Day 1 (of being Noah Puckerman's boyfriend)
It could always be worse:
Kurt watched Noah from across the classroom, cursing assigned seats. When the teacher's back was turned, he saw Noah lob something his way, only barely catching the folded up paper.
He unfolded it, scanning it quickly and blushing at the contents. It was a rambling list of utterly perverse suggestions for what they could be doing instead of listening to the science teacher drone on. At the very bottom was a heart doodle, filled in with red pen and surrounded by tiny music notes.
Kurt absolutely did not melt.
Pairing: Puck/Kurt
Rating: R/Nc-17 (for the smexing)
Length: ~2500 words (ish)
Summary: After a drunken hook up, Puck is stuck on Kurt, who doesn't return his feelings. All Kurt has to do is convince of Puck of that.
(Based on this prompt at glee_kink. Multiple people told me to move the party over here so I figured why not)
Also! First post at this comm. :D
Day -3:
Get drunk, hook up with your sort-of not-enemy at a party full of all your mutual friends.
"God, Hummell, you're so goddamned tight." "Fuck, get on with it, I don't have all night." "Fucking, prissy little... oooh." "yeeesss"
Day -2:
Be massively embarrassed (and hungover) about the previous night and hope he decides to never mention it again rather than beat you up.
"Tell me it wasn't as bad as I think it was, Mercedes."
"I knew you could hit that high F, boy. And we are sooo going to talk about why you blew that audition."
"Focus, please!"
Day -1:
Lie to your dad about it.
"Is something wrong Kurt? Because you've been bummed since the glee club party, and I thought you were really excited about that. You know you can tell me anything, right? Even if it's a boy thing."
Kurt stared at his father in horror.
"Nothing. It's nothing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with anything."
Kurt fled.
Day 0:
Find out he doesn't have exactly the same opinion on the night as you do.
"Hey, uh, Kurt."
Kurt glanced over at Mercedes, whose eyebrows were somewhere near her hairline. When he looked back, Puck was still standing next to his locker, looking oddly sheepish, holding a handful of bright blue flowers. Kurt took them somewhat reflexively and Puck practically ran off. He turned to Mercedes again.
"Oh hell to the no."
Kurt agreed entirely.
HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN TEN DAYS:
Day 1:
Be firm and direct.
"Puck. Noah. I do not like you. You threw me in dumpsters. And slushied me. And are a neanderthal with bad hair and worse clothes. I do not want to date you. Or have sex with you again. Ok?"
Puck nodded very earnestly. Kurt had a momentary and completely involuntarily thought that Puck being honest was a little adorable. He squashed it.
"I, uh, get that I was a jerk. And that you have no reason to forgive me. But I'm gonna make it up to you."
When Puck shoved the (covered) slushie forward, Kurt took it, since it didn't look like the jock was going anywhere until he did. He waited until Puck was out of sight to take a sip.
Blue Rasberry. His favorite.
Day 2:
Call in reinforcements.
Matt, Mike, Finn and Artie sat at the table in front of him.
"Now, you are all here to help me find a way to stop this nonsense with Puck. I need ideas that will get through his thick skull. The stress is making me break out and products can only do so much!"
The footballers all looked nervous.
"What is it? Just say it."
After some shared glances Finn was silently elected to speak.
"It's just, uh, Puck can get pretty hung up on things. He spent three months convincing Santana just to take his calls."
"He's already threatened the jocks if they upset you," Mike added.
"And there's a rumor that he closed down his pool cleaning business," was Matt's contribution.
Kurt turned to his last refuge of sanity, but Artie looked thoughtful. Kurt glared at him.
"He did ask me what your favorite musical was."
Kurt moaned in despair.
Day 3:
Insult his manliness.
"While I'm forced to admit what happened on Friday wasn't that terrible, it's clear you don't have what it takes to keep up with my needs in ...mppphh!"
Kurt shoved until Puck stepped back, removing his tongue from Kurt's mouth. He pointedly didn't think about what could be transferring from the bathroom wall to his hair and clothes.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
Puck only smirked, pushing back in for another kiss. Kurt was going to tell him off in just one second. As soon as Puck finished that thing he was doing with his hand.
The bell rang and Puck took off. Mercedes was waiting for Kurt outside the bathroom, face disbelieving. Kurt straightened his hair, going for casual.
"What do you expect? I'm sixteen and a guy, after all.
Day 4:
Make him see that you're completely wrong for each other.
Puck was humming along to the reprise of 'no one mourns the wicked', obviously getting into the show. Kurt sat next to him on the couch(a few deliberate feet between them) looking around frantically for an escape route. He'd invited Puck over to hang out expecting him to run screaming from all of Kurt's hobbies but Puck seemed to actually be enjoying himself. He'd offered actual advise (if you counted "that's kind of hot" as advice) about Kurt's choreography for the next glee number, not bitched about the music Kurt had put on in the car (even admitting he liked the song they'd done for football) and now was intently watching Kurt's favorite musical.
"I'm really glad you showed this to me. I mean, I always figured musicals were just stupid couples singing at each other. But this is really cool. The witch is getting a seriously raw deal," Puck said to him, then turned back to the screen.
Kurt was too shocked to protest when Puck closed the distance between them and wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulders.
Day 5:
Let your dad do the dirty work.
When Puck cornered him before third period and asked to hang out again, Kurt was all set to make excuses, then he had a brilliant idea.
"Well, I was planning on having dinner with my dad, but if you want you could join us?" he offered, like it was no big deal.
Cut to a few hours later, and Kurt was in hell.
His dad and Puck were talking about football and laughing like they were best friends. His dad mentioned something Kurt didn't quite catch and then Puck was shaking his head.
"Oh no, I mean, yeah, we worry cause he's so tiny, but honestly if someone got close enough to try and tackle him he'd probably just raise his eyebrow and they'd run away."
"Yeah, that's our Kurt."
They both turned adoring looks on Kurt, who gulped his water so he wouldn't give in to the urge to puke. Or commit ritual suicide.
Day 6:
Focus on the objective.
The backseat of his car, though huge, was still too small to be doing in this. Except Puck had one arm under his hip and two fingers scissoring inside of Kurt, the other hand wrapped around his dick and twisting just so, so Kurt pretty much didn't care. Puck leaned close to whisper obscene things right into Kurt's ear...
-gonna fuck you again, want to all the fucking time, every time I look at you I think about it, every time you sing I think about the sounds you make when I do this-
...and Kurt, to his embarrassment, came with a high pitched moan, spilling into Puck's hand.
He flopped back onto the seat, looked over and noticed Puck was still hard. Well, maybe it wasn't an entire waste. He reached over, opening the door and shoving Puck out.
"We are not dating," he said very, very firmly, letting his lip arch into a perfect sneer.
Puck did that smirking thing that Kurt did not find the least bit sexy.
"Yeah, ok. See you tomorrow."
He strolled off, hips loose and ass swaying and Kurt was hard again, damnit.
Stupid hormones.
Day 7:
Call in (better) reinforcements.
"Girls. I'm desperate. I need your help. This is getting completely out of hand. Santana, you dated Puck, you should know what he can't stand. Rachel, you could make anyone hate you. Tina, you can be surprisingly scary when you want. Mercedes, you're my best friend. Brittany. Uh, Brittany, how about you just tell us if you think of anything. I'm counting on you ladies."
The girls sat silently for a few minutes, until Santana smiled evilly. Kurt was man enough to admit it made him a little frightened, though he didn't show it, of course.
When Kurt cornered Puck and put his plan into action, saying exactly what Santana had told him to. By the time he was done talking Puck looked completely crushed, turning to walk away dejectedly.
"Wait!" Kurt cursed his big mouth and sense of decency.
Puck turned around, looking almost hopeful. Kurt could feel himself give in.
"Look. None of that stuff is true. Santana told me to say it so I could get you to leave me alone. Only, I may be a bitch but I'm not that much of a bitch. I shouldn't have to lie to you to get you to go away. You may be a dumb jock with no style, but you aren't a completely horrible human being, and I refuse to be the kind of person who makes other people feel bad to get what I want. So. I'm sorry I said those things. Now go away."
Puck left. Not without hugging Kurt first.
Kurt chose not to think about the fact that he almost didn't mind.
Day 8:
Make it clear your interests lie elsewhere. That is to say, ignore him and flirt your ass off.
The show choir workshop was perfect. Tons of attractive, talented, gay boys all perfect for Kurt to flirt with. Puck would have to realize Kurt wasn't interested.
Except the day went on and the jock didn't seem to be taking the hint. Kurt flirted his butt off, got groped several times, kissed twice and had several very interesting propositions, and by the end of the day Puck wasn't backing off, he just glowered at everyone who came near Kurt (even the girls) and looked ready to commit murder.
Kurt snuck off to fix his hair (that one boy from Vocal Adrenaline did not know how to keep his hand to himself) when Puck cornered him in the bathroom (again) and pushed him up against the mirror. He thought he should protest except he was having trouble thinking with Puck's hands inside his clothes, one already getting his jeans open and the other reaching up his shirt to run against his spine. Puck was doing the talking in his ear thing again, which Kurt was man enough to admit was a little hot.
"Fuck, Kurt, I couldn't stand watching you all day, being such a little slut. You had the girls distract me, didn't you, so I couldn't beat the crap out of those boys who thought they could touch you, god, it was the hottest thing ever, seeing your pissy little looks when they tried to get you all rumpled, the way they looked when you turned them down flat, it was perfect, you're perfect and so fucking hot. Knew you'd be waiting for me, because only I get to do this, only I get to mess you up."
And Kurt was messed up, Puck had gotten his own pants open too, had wrapped his hand around both their dicks, and was jacking them off together. It was hot and wet and somehow his legs had gotten hooked around Puck's hips and he was being held up against the mirror. He wasn't making any embarrassing noises this time but only because he had his mouth on Puck's neck, sucking a mark onto the skin.
Those Vocal Adrenaline girls had been all over Puck, and just because Kurt didn't want him didn't mean he was without pride.
Day 9:
Give him an impossible ultimatum.
Puck was waiting for him in the parking lot at school the next day, taking Kurt's bag without prompting.
"Look. Puck. Noah. I accept that you like me, but I'm not going to be some secret fling. I expect my man to be out and proud. If you can't accept everyone knowing, then you just aren't good enough for me."
He put every bit of attitude he could into his voice and when he was finished, he snatched his bag back and did a perfect (if he did say so himself) stomp off, leaving Puck to walk in alone. Kurt figured that was the end of it, and tried not to examine why that made him sigh just a little bit. Everything he said was true, he reminded himself.
Since he'd already closed the mental book on the Puck issue, he wasn't expecting the jock to stand up the table next to the gleeks in the middle of lunch. Kurt watched, horrified, as Puck started talking.
"Listen up. Kurt Hummell is my boyfriend. And if anyone gives me or him shit about it, I'll beat the crap out if you. You're all just jealous because you don't have a piece of that fine ass."
Puck looked down at Kurt for a second, then back at the shocked students.
"Oh, and lay off the gleeks too. First person to slushie a gleek gets their head stuffed in a toilet."
And since the plumbing was broken again, that was a decent threat. Kurt was oddly touched. That still didn't mean he was happy when Puck jumped down, wandered over to take the seat next to Kurt, and wrap his arm around the smaller boy. The only reason Kurt didn't stop him was because he didn't want to cause another scene. He'd talk to Puck later.
Kurt ignored the looks the rest of the table was shooting him.
Day 10:
Resort to drastic measures.
Kurt was dragging his third suitcase up the stairs when his dad came home. He stopped Kurt in the hallway, looking at the pile of luggage next to the front door.
"Something wrong, son?"
"Nothing. I'm running away to New York. I promise to call."
His dad nodded, not blocking his path. He had the best dad ever.
"Ok. Say, this wouldn't have anything to do with your boyfriend, would it?"
Scratch that, he had the most horrible dad in the world.
"I DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"
Kurt didn't like pitch that comment reached. His dad did stop him then, one hand on Kurt's shoulder.
"Did you guys break up? It's ok if you did, but I thought you two really liked each other."
"We were never dating. There is not, nor was there ever, any boyfriend. And even if there was a boyfriend, it would definitely not be Noah."
His dad shrugged in that whatever-you-say way he had.
"If you say so. But can I ask you a question Kurt?"
Kurt reluctantly nodded.
"Does he make you happy? Because it seems like you've been pretty happy the last week or so, and that's all that matters to me."
With that, his dad wandered off, leaving Kurt with three suitcases and a lot of thinking that had finally caught up with him.
Day 11:
Accept defeat.
Noah was once more waiting for him at school, and this time Kurt just let him take his bag. He wrapped an arm through Noah's and led him towards the building.
"Just so you know, if you cheat on me I'm going to cut off your balls and mount them on my wall."
Noah just laughed, looking not at all threatened.
"Seems fair. While you're at it you should get my dick stuffed, that way you can still get some use out of it."
Kurt feigned outrage while giggling at Noah's crude joke. They walked into the school together and Kurt found he didn't care about the other students' looks.
Day 11: Day 1 (of being Noah Puckerman's boyfriend)
It could always be worse:
Kurt watched Noah from across the classroom, cursing assigned seats. When the teacher's back was turned, he saw Noah lob something his way, only barely catching the folded up paper.
He unfolded it, scanning it quickly and blushing at the contents. It was a rambling list of utterly perverse suggestions for what they could be doing instead of listening to the science teacher drone on. At the very bottom was a heart doodle, filled in with red pen and surrounded by tiny music notes.
Kurt absolutely did not melt.