Diva-Off Author #1

[raving_liberal]

Title: In The End (You Found Me) 
Author: #1
Prompt: See, Puckerman, that’s what you’re missing out on; true love 
Rating: PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Noah Puckerman, Kurt Hummel
Genre: Romance, Friendship
Warning: None
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to FOX
Author Notes: I started writing this fic before the challenge started and when I saw that one of the prompt was inspired by the Valentine's episode I told myself to give this a shot. It was hard to edit the fic again and again to keep it under the 6000 words.
Summary: Kurt thinks Puck knows nothing about love, but truth is that Puck knows a lot more than Kurt. 
Word Count: 5200



When Puck sees Kurt’s face light up with joy when he gets his Gorilla gram, he can’t help but smile and feel fulfilled. What makes him kind of sad is the fact that for Kurt, the possibility of having anyone else interested in him is so remote that it’s not even worth considering.

He waves off Kurt’s comment about true love, because he is sure he will never get it right since the person he loves is sitting right in front of him talking about how perfect his current relationship is and Puck will be damned before trying to ruin it. He pretends to be indifferent to romance and love and tells himself not to mind that no one seems to notice that he actually tried to make it work with Quinn or that he swallowed his pride to get Lauren to like him back, or that he tried his best to help Shelby just to have a chance to be a father for Beth. Sometimes Puck is sure that everything would be easier if he became the person everyone thinks he is.

On Valentine’s night, he ends up leaving Breadsticks early, the girls remaining behind to party with Blaine. When he gets home, while he's trying to fall asleep, he thinks about Kurt and wonders if he ever found out that most of the cards he got Valentine’s week weren’t from Blaine which in turn makes him question exactly how much Kurt and Blaine talk, but he quickly pushes those thoughts away.

With Blaine back at school Kurt stops sitting next to him during Glee and lunch and Puck misses him but has no idea how to get Kurt to spend time together. It takes almost a week before he can come up with a plausible excuse.

With the excuse of having a Halo marathon with Sam and missing Carole’s cooking, he gets Finn to invite him over for the night. So Puck finds himself spending dinner sitting across from Kurt ignoring the way his eyes want to focus on him and never look away.

After desert, Carole and Burt go to bed and the boys all take place on the big couch in the living room. Kurt sits next to Finn, pressed against the armrest and with a book propped up on his bent knees.

They play for an hour before Sam yawns and says that he’ll go to bed and Puck is sure that he has looked tired ever since Mercedes dumped Shane and didn’t get with him. He shakes his head at the thought because it seems weird that they talk about relationships like the girls do, but the guys know about Shelby and Kurt never holds back on saying that they need to find the right person to have the right relationship with and they make fun of Finn because he’s getting married.

“Once me and Rachel are married, I won’t be able to have these nights with you guys,” Finn says with a deep sigh, as if he’s talking about giving up an arm.

Puck rolls his eyes. “Please, you think she will give up her movie nights and sleepovers with Mercedes and Kurt?”

“True,” Kurt agrees with him from behind his book.

Finn scrunches up his nose in confusion and looks between his best friend and his brother. “Wait, where am I going to sleep then?”

“On the couch,” Kurt says. He finally puts down his book and focuses his attention on Finn. “I told you that this is not a good idea. Rachel isn’t easy to manage and you know it better than anyone else.”

“She told you to use another bathroom,” Puck adds.

“Exactly. She will wear the pants in the house, so to say.” Kurt gets up from the couch and heads for the kitchen distractedly asking on his way if they want some warm milk.

“But we will be married,” Finn protests.

“You have to realize that you are too young to know how to settle into a marriage,” Kurt tells him from the other room, his voice accompanied with the noise of the cupboard being opened and closed and the burner being turned on.

Puck turns around a little and stares at him from over the back of the couch and doesn’t care that Finn may notice what he’s doing. He lets his eyes follow Kurt to the fridge and then to the stove and then to where they keep all the mugs. He thinks about living with Kurt and true love, and kind of gets why Finn is doing what he’s doing. If he had Kurt’s love, he’d do anything to show him that he’d be ready to spend the rest of his life with him.

When Kurt starts pouring the milk into the mug, Puck quickly diverts his gaze and finds Finn frowning at him.

“What are you doing?” Finn asks in a whisper and Puck simply shrugs because there’s not a lot he can say. Finn sighs and shakes his head and Puck is just grateful he won’t have to sit through an awkward interrogation.

This time Kurt sits down between them and Puck wonders if he notices how he’s leaning more towards Puck than Finn. Kurt looks at him with a raised eyebrow, and Puck realizes he has started to smile for no apparent reason. He looks back to the TV but the game is still paused and Finn is staring at the wall.

“Would you guys get married at our age?”

Puck is sure that Kurt will say yes and he doesn’t really want to hear it so he quickly answers, “I asked Quinn when she was pregnant but it was just to keep Beth and do the right thing.”

“I wouldn’t.”

Both Puck and Finn look at Kurt with surprise.

“What? You think I would? First of all we are too young and with Blaine being a Junior, if we got married now we would spend the first year with me in New York and him stuck here. It wouldn’t make sense.”

Finn seems to consider that for a moment before shrugging. “But I’d be with Rachel in New York, so we won’t have that problem.”

“Finn, I already told you,” Kurt’s voice is firm and full of frustration and anger. “You don’t need to get married now. You have time. Once we’re all in New York, you’ll try out the living together thing. And then after college, if you still feel the same way, you can get married.” He gets up from the couch then and looks pointedly at Finn. “Just because you can get married, doesn’t mean you have to.”

Finn looks as if someone has just kicked his puppy and that brings a sigh out of Kurt. “Just… You won’t listen to me, fine! But if you have any doubts of your own, then please listen to yourself.”

He turns around and heads to the stairs, but stops at the door and looks back at Puck. “Good night,” he says before disappearing upstairs and Puck stares his way long after Kurt’s gone.

A week later, after they win Regionals while they’re all on the bus, he uses the chance of Blaine going to Rachel to sit down next to Kurt. He lets himself fall down heavily in the empty seat and stretches his arm over its back. He turns around and leans in a little and smiles at Kurt when all Kurt does is look at him with an amused smile.

He doesn’t have a plan, not really, he just wants to spend more time with Kurt, and all those movies he’s watched with his sister have put strange ideas in his head. Like, if they hang out enough then perhaps Kurt will see him under a different light. He can’t come up with anything better than what he ends up saying.

“What can I do for you, Puckerman?”

“I was thinking about what you told me a few weeks ago. I figured, if there’s someone who knows about true love it must be you, right?”

Kurt frowns. “I’m not following you.”

“You’ve been in a relationship for almost a year and everything’s great with your boy, right?” Kurt nods slowly and Puck stops himself from asking about that. “So I figured you could help me out.”

“With what?”

“With true love. I want you to teach me about it.”

Kurt shakes his head laughing. “You can’t just teach about it.”

“Why? I think I’ve never really been in love. So let’s start with the basic questions. What would you say love feels like? True love, of course.”

“Puck…”

“C’mon, Kurt.” He finds himself leaning in closer, his nose almost touching Kurt’s and his voice suddenly sounds more serious. “Tell me what I’m missing out on.”

Kurt’s eyes stay locked with his and Puck can see in them that Kurt is thinking about it, wondering if he’s being serious.

“Is it just cheesy cards and flowers?” Puck asks quietly, tilting his head to the side as if he’s studying Kurt. “Your heartbeat speeding up when you kiss? Because the first one is silly, I’ve done it plenty of times to get into girls’ pants and the second has nothing to do with love.”

“You think it’s all about sex,” Kurt replies and his voice is almost drowned out by New Directions singing around them. “You always talk about sleeping with girls and sawing them and what about the rest?” Kurt’s eyes narrow but it’s more as if he’s trying to figure out Puck than in anger. “I wonder why you think that’s all that it is.”

“I told you,” Puck replies with a fake smile and pulling away a little. “Love is not really my thing.”

“Love is everyone’s thing.”  Kurt leans forward his eyes still focused sorely on Puck’s face. “You were in love with Quinn.”

“I was in love with my baby momma, and I care about her because of Beth and because I screwed her up.” He shifts uncomfortably in his seat because this is getting more personal than he intended. “I feel like I need to look out for her now. It’s the same with Rachel, but they’re just friends.”

“So if you know how to care, how can you not know how to love?”

And Puck almost laughs in his face and tells him right there and then that the only love Puck knows is the one he feels and no one ever feels for him. He shakes his head thinking that it was all just a big mistake. He gets up just as Blaine is making his way over.

“Hey Puck.”

“Anderson.”

GLEE

“I accept.”

Puck stares at the inside of his locker for a few moments before slamming it shut and starting to walk down the hall, Kurt falling into steps besides him.

“Did you hear me?”

“Accept what?”

“Help you figuring out true love.”

“I was kidding.”

Kurt puts his hand on Puck’s forearm and stops him just outside the Spanish classroom. “C’mon, Puck.”

And it’s absurd and Puck already knows that he will regret it, but this is Kurt and he’ll do pretty much anything to spend some time with him. So he sighs and nods as if he’s the one doing Kurt a favor and then walks inside the Spanish class, pretending to ignore Kurt when he falls into the seat next to his.

GLEE

Puck isn’t sure exactly what he’s going to do, or what Kurt’s plan is until a week later when he calls to invite Puck over for dinner.

“What’s up?” he asks as soon as Kurt lets him inside.

“I thought about your question and I have an answer.”

Frowning, Puck asks, “What question?”

“You asked me to tell you what you were missing out on.”

Kurt takes his wrist and leads him to the living room where a movie Puck doesn’t recognize is paused, and a bowl full of popcorn is sitting on the coffee table.

“What do you think about a movie night? Everyone's out.” He flops down on the couch and pats the empty seat next to him. “C’mon, Puckerman.”

It’s awkward and Puck has never felt awkward around Kurt. Even back when they weren‘t friends it had always been teasing and rude remarks, but never uncomfortable; this is new in a bad way. He sits down with his back stiff, completely unable to relax.

“So, true love. It’s caring about someone, and you’re there already you said. It’s about wanting to spend as much time with that person as possible, and still wanting more. It’s being comfortable with someone enough to be completely yourself, and knowing that there’s another person caring for you and loving you as much as you care for and love them.”

Puck takes in Kurt’s smile and far away expression and wonders if he’s talking about Blaine or something he’s seen in a movie and is wishing for, but mostly, he wonders if Kurt is serious.

“That’s so predictable, dude.”

Kurt glares at him and crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Excuse me?”

“That’s what everyone in a relationship would say, but not everyone has true love. And not everyone is together because they are in love. Tell me why you think you love Blaine?” He shouts at himself to shut up because he doesn’t want to fight with Kurt and doesn’t want to talk about Blaine.

“I don’t think I love Blaine, I know I love Blaine,” he answers stubbornly making Puck roll his eyes.

“Why?”

“He…” Kurt trails off and looks away for a moment and Puck wonders exactly what in the hell is going on.

“Tell me why he’s different from Finn?” And that’s a low blow he knows it as soon as the words leave his mouth, but they don’t get Kurt angry, they just make him completely lose his air of confidence. Puck can’t help but say, “Never thought about that, right? You’ve got to know or what are you going to teach me?” The question comes out sounding more bitter than Puck had intended but he finds himself uncaring.

Still, Kurt doesn’t answer and doesn’t meet his eyes.

Puck is even ready to apologize and tell Kurt to forget everything when Kurt clears his throat and says, “He actually loves me back.”

“That’s it? He loves you back?” He scoffs and hates himself for making Kurt sad but can’t really stop. “What? Are you two together because you wanted him and after months of being friends he suddenly wanted you back?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Why did you think that all the Valentine’s Cards were from him?” He asks challengingly and angrily, because Kurt has got to see that he doesn’t just have Blaine. “Did it ever occur to you that they may have been from someone else?”

“I thought they were all Blaine’s because, Puck, why should anyone else send me stuff?” And Kurt sounds so sure of that, that Puck has to stop himself from punching a wall. “But then I found out that a few of them were from someone else.”

That stops Puck in his tracks. He’s pretty sure Kurt is not talking about him, so he asks, “Who sent the others?”

“Can’t really tell you, but they weren’t from Blaine.” Kurt stares down at the carpet and nervously toys with his fingers.

For a moment Puck doesn't know what to say; jealousy doesn't seem right neither does claiming some of the cards. “Did you tell Blaine?”

“Not really.”

“What did you tell the other guy?”

“That I liked him but only as friends and that I had Blaine.”

Puck nods. “That was decent.” He glances towards Kurt and finds him looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “Let’s watch the movie,” he proposes so they can change the subject and get back at not being awkward.

Kurt nods and passes him the bowl of popcorn.

GLEE

When Karofsky tries to kill himself a week later, for the first time in a long while, Puck thinks about when he used to be a bully. It makes him remember how Kurt looked before leaving for Dalton, and he feels suddenly scared even if perhaps the threat of Kurt doing something stupid has long since passed.

He goes looking for Kurt and finds him spending his lunch break on the bleachers, staring out to the empty football field.

Puck sits down and stares at his shoes for a few moments, trying to put order to his thoughts, trying to decide exactly how he's supposed to ask what he wants to ask. He ends up blurting out, “Did you ever think about it?” and hopes Kurt will get it.

Kurt doesn't even try to pretend of not knowing what Puck means. “No,” he answers never looking at him. “Sometimes it felt like I couldn't stand it anymore, like I had no escape,” he tilts his head back and his eyes meet Puck's briefly before he goes back at staring at the field. “But I could never have done something like that to my father.”

Puck frowns because he was sure that hearing that Kurt had never thought about it would make him feel better, but the fear that is gripping his heart doesn’t uncoil. “Is that all?” he asks, and he doesn't want to sound insensitive but it feels like it's not enough. “There has to be something else.”

Kurt turns to him and inclines his head as if studying him. “Things are different now.” The corner of his lips tags upward stretching his mouth into a modest smile. “I know that when people say it gets better, it's actually the truth. You've got to keep an eye on the future, right? When I thought things were horrible, when I just wanted to run and hide, I found Blaine. It made me think that I could actually be happy if only because I had found a friend who understood.”

Puck wants to ask if that's why Kurt is with Blaine, out of some misguided gratitude because Blaine had helped. But he holds back because sitting there with Kurt, talking about important stuff, feels really good and he doesn't want to think about anything else. “But it's for you too, right?”

Kurt's smile this time is full. “Yes, don't worry.”

Puck nods, his face set into a determined scowl. “Good.”

The bell rings in the distance but neither of them makes a move to get up. Kurt takes out of his pocket a small plastic bag filled with colorful wrapped chocolates. He puts two in his hand and silently offers them to Puck.

Puck grabs one and unwraps it, his eyes staying on the small piece of paper long after the chocolate has started melting in his mouth. “Are you going to help him?”

“Yeah.” Kurt puts his hands between his keens and his eyes narrow a little as if he's looking towards something that makes him uncomfortable. “I just hope I won't make it worse. I accepted because it's the right thing to do, you know? I feel responsible, and he needs someone, and I really want to help him but...”

“How could you make it worse?” Puck asks, because he really doesn't understand.

“The other cards were from him. He thinks he loves me,” Kurt says in a whisper. He glances at Puck for a moment. “I can't love him back. I fear that if we hang out a lot he won't get over it.”

And Puck knows Kurt's right because he should get over his own feelings but more time they spend together, the harder it gets to want something other than be Kurt's.

“I'm sure he'll be okay.” He looks over at Kurt and finds him staring, a sort of relaxed expression over his face as if simply talking about this with Puck is making things easier. “He knows he needs a friend now and I don't think he has anyone else.”

Kurt nods and takes out more chocolates. “We skipped Math,” he ends up saying while popping a cherry sweat in his mouth.

“It's okay,” Puck answers, picking up the other chocolate and letting his fingertips slide across Kurt's palm. “I can give you private lessons to catch up.”

When Kurt laughs, his eyes are shining brightly and Puck finally feels the fear fading away.

“You know, when I think about it, you're my only friend,” he confesses and swears he doesn't know where that's coming from. He blames it on the fact that talking about Karofsky makes him think back about Valentine's week and the way Kurt told him he was missing out on true love and pretty much to stop sleeping around. It was the first time someone told him to stop what he was doing without making him feel dirty, the first time someone had cared enough to tell him to stop. That shot Kurt to the top of his list of friends which in turn made him realize that after Kurt's name there was no one else.

He still thinks of Finn as his best friend, but that’s more out of habit than true sentiment. They haven’t been close ever since Puck slept with Quinn and Puck has long since accepted that Finn's friendship is something he’s never going to really get back, and he’s mostly okay with it, it just seems lonely that if he excluded Kurt he wouldn't have anyone else.

But if he has understood anything in the last months, it’s that everything is changing, that they are moving towards the people they are going to be one day, and it’s okay to leave something behind even if it’s a friendship that once upon a time was really important to him.

He’s used to being everyone's friend but never having a friend of his own. Kurt is changing that, has been for a while. And when he stops to think about it, Puck finds it hilarious that out of everyone it’s the kid he used to torment his only real friend.

Kurt's eyes widen and he opens his mouth to quickly say that it's not true, that of course he has other friends. That's an automatic response, but then he shuts up because that would be a lie, and they had never lied to each other, not even when it was just to throw insults.

“Don't look at me like I'm a charity case.” Puck shakes his head smiling a bit self-deprecatingly.

“It's just that I'm not the greatest friend someone could have,” Kurt tells him scrunching up his nose.

Puck laughs. “Don't sell yourself short, dude.”

Kurt's face relaxes and he leans forward as if he's about to share some big secret. “You‘re not so bad yourself, Puck.”

Puck looks away because he has to fight back a blush.

GLEE

They start spending more time together after that, and since Puck swore to himself to not interfere, he stops himself from asking why Kurt spends his free time with him instead of his perfect boyfriend.

Then one night while they’re watching a movie Puck looks away from the TV where Across the Universe is playing and looks at Kurt. He’s been thinking about it for days, weeks, so he just opens his mouth and blurts out, “Why do you talk to me about this stuff?”

“What stuff?” Kurt asks distractedly.

“Your dad’s resolutions, how things with Karofsky are going,” he shrugs, “you never mention Blaine.”

Kurt stops moving his lips to the songs playing but doesn’t turn to look at Puck. “Well, sorry if I'm bothering you,” he replies sternly.

“It's not that. It's just, isn't Blaine supposed to be there for this? I mean, he's your boyfriend. Why, when it comes down to the important stuff, you don't talk? You didn't even tell him about deciding not to go through with Santana's plan for Sebastian. That’s the kind of important staff you share, right?” He shakes his head and adds, “But what do I know about functioning relationships?”

Kurt seems to deflate at that, he closes his mouth mid-forming a come back and turns to him. “We haven't talked a lot lately. We see a lot of things in different ways. He's back at being Sebastian's friend and…” he can’t help the anger seeping into his tone.

“You're jealous?”

“No, not really, more like hurt.”

“Well he’s a dick then because you’re awesome.”

Kurt furrows his brow and his eyes squint a little. “You know, it’s not the first time you’ve said something like that.”

Puck clears his throat nervously and looks away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The other day you said I was hot,” Kurt tells him. He reaches for the remote and turns the TV off and shift his attention to Puck. “You were coming in and I was leaving to go over to Blaine’s and you said, ‘looking hot, Kurt,’ and winked.”

Licking his lips slowly, Puck gets up from the couch mumbling about going to get a refill of popcorn.

“Puck?” Kurt calls after him and Puck tries really hard to ignore him.

“Leave it alone,” he says while mentally calling himself an idiot. He thinks back about the little comments he has let slip lately and wonders how Kurt never noticed before…

Kurt follows him into the kitchen. “No Puck, I think this is something we need to talk about.”

…How he never noticed Puck staring and defending him. Suddenly Puck feels like he can’t back off anymore, like he can‘t pretend to be invisible any longer. He turns around so suddenly that Kurt almost collides into him.

“Sometime I feel like I could have a big sign over my head that says ‘I love you’ with a huge arrow pointing right at you, and you’d still miss the point.” Puck blinks really fast as if only in that moment realizing that Kurt actually brought him to a point where the frustration got to be so much that he just let it all out in the open.

Kurt opens his mouth uselessly a few times and then settles on whispering, “What are you talking about?”

Puck almost laughs. “Never mind.” He walks around Kurt and heads for the door, just wanting to get away and hoping that Kurt will pretend this whole conversation never happened.

But Kurt reaches out and grabs him. “Puck, wait, what…”

And then he says ‘fuck it’ because things can’t get worse. He’s already said he’s in love and Kurt didn’t catch that, of course he hasn’t. “You know, you are always talking about love but it’s all crap. Just quotes from stupid movies.” His chest is heaving while he turns around to stare at Kurt’s bewildered face. “You pretend to have the perfect relationship, but you and Blaine never talk, you barely spend time together, barely even look like boyfriends and you don’t trust him. And you know what? Sometimes you don’t get to be loved back, but that doesn’t make what you’re feeling any less true. It’s called disinterested love. You’re the one who has to consider what he’s doing, not me.” Before he can actually start to freak out or think about the fact that he has just broken the promise made to himself about keeping quiet and letting Kurt live his life with Blaine, he fixes Kurt with a look he’d give to a linebacker during a match and then turns around storming out.

GLEE

The next day at school he’s not feeling any better. The anger and frustration is still there. He’s grumpy and goes out of his way to avoid Kurt. It works until lunch time. He’s on the bleachers when Kurt sits down next to him.

“So, are you avoiding me now?” Kurt stares at him and waits for a few seconds before frowning. “You can’t just say something like that and then disappear.”

“Yes, I can.”

“Puck…”

“Go back to your boyfriend, Kurt.” HE walks away before Kurt has a chance to say anything.

GLEE

He can’t help it if his eyes travel to Kurt every time they’re in close proximity. He’s so used to no one caring about what he does that he doesn’t even think about being subtle. He sits at Glee and studies Kurt and doesn’t look away even those rare times when Kurt feels Puck’s gaze on him and turns around. Puck figures that he has already let it all out in the open so there’s no need to pretend.

Since he’s always looking at Kurt, it’s not hard to notice when he suddenly sits more often than not next to someone other than Blaine. At first, Puck doesn’t really think about it too much because even though they're boyfriends, it doesn’t mean they can’t sit with someone else.

It gets impossible to ignore what’s going on when he goes to the Lima Bean and finds Blaine having coffee with Sebastian. For one moment he feels angry and wants to punch Blaine because Kurt is amazing and what in the hell is Blaine doing with the guy that wanted to throw a slushy with rock salt at his boyfriend?

But then he figures that it’s not really his business, that if Blaine is spending time with Sebastian, obviously Kurt is okay with it.

Puck ends up leaving without ordering anything.

Two weeks later when he sees them again and Kurt hasn’t been sitting with Blaine for almost a month, Puck decides that it’s time they talked. So Puck corners him one day after Glee club, grabbing Kurt’s arm and holding him behind until the choir room is empty.

“Are we talking again?” Kurt asks confused.

“Yes.” Puck takes a deep breath wondering once again if maybe he should just mind his own business. “I saw Blaine with that other dude from Dalton.”

“Sebastian?”

“Yeah, him. Did you know?”

Kurt shrugs. “Not really.”

“I knew it.” Puck closes his hand into a fist and turns towards the door still unsure on what exactly he’s going to do. He stops when he feels Kurt’s hand close around his elbow. When he looks at Kurt, Puck finds him smiling exasperated.

“It’s okay.”

“The dude is cheating on you and…”

“No, he’s not. We broke up,” he adds with another shrug and Puck feels really confused.

“What?”

“We broke up. About three weeks ago. It’s not because of Sebastian, or maybe it is,” he says in a whisper more to himself than to Puck. “We grew apart. We can be good friends, but as boyfriends we were heading nowhere.”

He looks relaxed as if he’s talking about nothing personal and it makes Puck frown all over again. “I don’t get it.”

Kurt smiles softly and puts his books and his shoulder bag down on the piano before turning to Puck. “It means would you like to go out on a date? I can come pick you up at seven.”

Puck blinks slowly and he opens his mouth to ask what Kurt is going on about, but Kurt puts his hand at the base of Puck’s neck, his fingers sliding in Puck’s Mohawk and that’s Puck’s weak spot. So he loses his voice and just stares at Kurt. “Puck, will you go out with me, tonight?” He’s smiling all shyly but determined at the same time and he leans in closer and brushes their lips together briefly. Puck wants to grab Kurt and kiss him again and again, but then he remembers he still has to answer.

“Go out with you?” he asks and Kurt nods biting on his lower lip. “Hell yes!”