Phantom (2/3)
Title: Phantom (2/3)
Rating: PG
Length: round about 2,000
Summary: Ghosts and phantoms past and present.
Note: What is this drivel? Did this come from me?!?
“Come on, Q. We haven’t seen you since spring break. Would it kill you to come to Lima for Thanksgiving?”
“Actually, S, it might.”
Santana had been trying for a few weeks to convince Quinn to meet her in Ohio for Thanksgiving. She missed Quinn, and could sense that things with Alex were on the rocks and that her friend might need a break from all the drama.
“It’s just for a few days. You haven’t been back to Ohio since high school.”
“I promised Alex…”
“Quinn!” Santana interrupted. “Seriously. It’s three days. Don’t you want a break from all the fighting and jealousy and bullshit? Even just for a little while?”
Quinn exhaled, clearly annoyed but considering her options. Santana took the pause as a good sign.
“Listen, Q.” Her voice was much more gentle. “You don’t even have to tell anyone else you’re in town. Come stay with me and Britt for a few days. Maybe you just need a little space to work things out with RuPaul Part 2. And besides, we want to celebrate your graduation before you leave for your big European vacation.”
There was a sigh on the other end of the line. “It’s a graduate program, Santana. Not exactly a vacation.”
“A year in Italy? Great wine and sightseeing and a room in a gorgeous villa? Sounds like a vacation to me.”
There was slight laughter on the other end of the line. It wasn’t lost on Santana that Quinn had avoided giving a final answer about going home.
“So… Thanksgiving? Britt would love to see you, too.”
“I really can’t.” Quinn sounded defeated. “I did promise Alex that I would stay. And you’re right - I’m leaving really soon. Yeah we’ve been having problems, but I can’t just blow her off.”
As much as it annoyed Santana, she understood where Quinn was coming from.
“Ok, Q. I get it. Just don’t be a stranger.”
“I won’t. Love you, San. Tell Britt I said hello.”
“Love you too, Q. Say hi to Manhands: The Sequel.”
Quinn rolled her eyes and hung up the phone.
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Rachel wasn’t sure if she had ever really been in love before, but she knew that it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Her girlfriend physically resembled a blonde from her past, but that was where the positive comparisons ended. Emily, though absolutely stunning, was a complete emotional train wreck.
Things were great for the first few months. They spent most of the summer in rehearsal, laughing and flirting and eventually hooking up after a long drunken night of Broadway karaoke. It felt good in the beginning. Electric. Emily was like a tornado that just completely swept Rachel in and spun her around. It was fantastically exhilarating until Rachel felt like she was spinning so quickly that she lost her bearings and couldn’t think of anything besides holding on for dear life.
She finally came to her senses while sitting in a diner across from Emily, a day after Thanksgiving, a week after Wicked wrapped, and a month after she really should have ended their relationship.
Against all rational judgment, Rachel brought Emily home to meet her fathers for Thanksgiving. It was a disaster, as should have been predicted. Emily was loud and exuberant and always needed to be the center of attention. Rachel found those qualities endearing when they first got together, but was soon irritated beyond belief. She never thought she would use the word as an insult, but Emily was a complete diva. The night before she dominated conversation, and even though Rachel hadn’t seen her fathers in months, Emily would pout every time she wasn’t the topic of conversation. It ended with the three Berrys gaping open-mouthed as Emily executed a flawless storm out of the dining room.
In that moment at the diner, every little moment of hesitation Rachel had felt about Emily in the past months came rushing to the surface. She couldn’t stand to be around the girl anymore. With her spoon of vanilla ice cream hovering in the air, Rachel couldn’t hold back the surge of words.
“I think that we should see other people.”
Emily looked stunned - eyes wide, face reddening, chest starting to heave. Rachel knew it was bad timing, that the other girl would probably cause a scene, but she couldn’t stop herself. Rachel tried to do damage control, although she knew it wouldn’t work.
“It’s not you, Em. It’s me. I’m just not emotionally available right now. It’s not fair to you to continue with our relationship when I know that I’m not able to put everything I have into it. The show is over and I’m auditioning for touring productions. I’m going into the final semester of NYU and I need to concentrate on this final push with my studies. I just don’t think that I will be able to give you the attention that you deserve.”
The verbal floodgates were open, and Rachel couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of her mouth. She looked at Emily’s shaking hand and wished she had picked a time to have this conversation when there wasn’t sharp cutlery anywhere around.
“You are leaving ME?!?” Emily screamed, pushing her plate back loudly and standing up.
Rachel looked at her in horror, unsure of what to do. It was worse than she expected.
“No one leaves me. You hear that? No one.” The blonde grabbed her coat and whipped her scarf around her neck. “You’ll come running back, Rachel Berry. And on that day you will wish you never even heard the name Emily Holmes!”
Rachel’s eyebrows scrunched together and she continued to stare at the girl, acutely aware that all the diner’s patrons were turned towards their table, and praying that Emily would just storm out already.
Emily grabbed Rachel by the collar and pulled her up out of the chair. Rachel’s Slushie instincts kicked in and she closed her eyes tightly, unsure of what the girl’s next move would be. She felt Emily’s breath, hot on her face. The blonde must have been less than an inch away.
“You will never find someone as good as me, Rachel.” Emily hissed venomously.
She pulled Rachel forward to close the small distance between them and passionately kissed her before dropping the brunette back into her seat and storming out of the diner, the little bell on the door almost breaking off from the strength of her slam.
The rest of the diners were silent for a moment, and then went back to their chatter. Rachel sat at the table, head in her hands, her face completely red.
“Holy shit!” Santana whispered from across the room, shaking her head.
“I know!” Brittany replied, “I can’t believe that girl completely left her banana split with Rachel! Think I can go get it?”
Santana grabbed her phone and texted Quinn.
I swear to god if I didn’t know you were in CT I’d think it was your evil twin who just dumped Rachel at the Main St Diner. Perfect diva storm-out and all!
In her dorm room in Connecticut, Quinn looked down from her crying (now ex) girlfriend to her phone. She read the message and didn’t know how to respond, so she didn’t. A minute later she felt the phone vibrate again. This one was from Brittney.
She looks just like you! And Alex looks like Rachel! Can I eat your evil twin’s banana split?
Quinn’s eyebrows scrunched together. She watched Alex walk out of the room.
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That night, Quinn lay in bed staring at her ceiling in the dark. She hadn’t let herself think about Rachel Berry in a long time. Most of her memories from high school were a little fuzzy around the edges by this time. She could remember certain parts of her life in Ohio, but when she thought about it now it felt less like her actual past and more like a familiar movie she remembered watching years ago.
Her memory of the last night she spent with Rachel was almost foggy - as if she couldn’t distinguish the finer details around the outside of the story, and was only left with the extreme feeling of peace that the other girl instilled in her. It was a feeling that she hadn’t gotten back to since that night. Her life since she left Lima was hectic. Graduating early, working through the summers, applying and planning for a graduate program abroad. She longed for that familiar calm that used to settle in her stomach when she was with Rachel.
Quinn pulled out her phone and scrolled down to Rachel’s number. She looked at the screen for a solid few minutes, letting her eyes linger on each letter of the girl’s name. She wanted desperately to reach out to Rachel. But what would she say? Sorry we haven’t spoken in a few years, but let’s sit quietly on the phone so I can feel like myself again? I know we were never very good friends but being around you used to make me feel complete? Quinn couldn’t imagine any of those things coming from the mouth of a sane person. And besides, it was well past midnight. That would just make the call even creepier.
She exhaled sharply and snapped the phone shut. She closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.
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Rachel spent that night in Lima alone with her fathers. They didn’t question her when she came back from the diner alone, and silently nodded when Rachel told them she was going for a walk.
She let her mind wander as her feet moved, thinking about the last time she was in Ohio, thinking about her life in high school, thinking about how much and yet how little she had changed.
Somehow she ended up in the middle of a clearing not too far from her house. She recognized the place in the moonlight, although the crickets weren’t chirping and the air was crisp and cool, filled with the soft smell of frost. The old path had grown over and there was no music in the air, but Rachel felt the same comfortable safety from that night rushing back through her as if no time had passed at all. It was an odd feeling. Something she didn’t have in the hustle and bustle of her life in New York. Something she distinctly associated with Lima. If she were being honest she would say more specifically, something she associated with Quinn.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. It was maybe the third model she had since high school, but she always programmed the same numbers in. She scrolled through, smiling at Artie, Brittney, Finn, even Puck and Santana. She paused at Quinn Fabray, clicking on the name, pursing her lips. Her finger hovered on the send button, biting her lip, holding her breath.
But it had been too long and it was too late. What would she even say? I miss your silence? I miss the comfortable quiet that I’ve only ever shared with you? I’ve never felt as peaceful and grounded as I did that night we kissed without saying anything? All of those things sounded ridiculous, and Rachel knew it.
She put the phone back in her pocket and walked home.
Rating: PG
Length: round about 2,000
Summary: Ghosts and phantoms past and present.
Note: What is this drivel? Did this come from me?!?
“Come on, Q. We haven’t seen you since spring break. Would it kill you to come to Lima for Thanksgiving?”
“Actually, S, it might.”
Santana had been trying for a few weeks to convince Quinn to meet her in Ohio for Thanksgiving. She missed Quinn, and could sense that things with Alex were on the rocks and that her friend might need a break from all the drama.
“It’s just for a few days. You haven’t been back to Ohio since high school.”
“I promised Alex…”
“Quinn!” Santana interrupted. “Seriously. It’s three days. Don’t you want a break from all the fighting and jealousy and bullshit? Even just for a little while?”
Quinn exhaled, clearly annoyed but considering her options. Santana took the pause as a good sign.
“Listen, Q.” Her voice was much more gentle. “You don’t even have to tell anyone else you’re in town. Come stay with me and Britt for a few days. Maybe you just need a little space to work things out with RuPaul Part 2. And besides, we want to celebrate your graduation before you leave for your big European vacation.”
There was a sigh on the other end of the line. “It’s a graduate program, Santana. Not exactly a vacation.”
“A year in Italy? Great wine and sightseeing and a room in a gorgeous villa? Sounds like a vacation to me.”
There was slight laughter on the other end of the line. It wasn’t lost on Santana that Quinn had avoided giving a final answer about going home.
“So… Thanksgiving? Britt would love to see you, too.”
“I really can’t.” Quinn sounded defeated. “I did promise Alex that I would stay. And you’re right - I’m leaving really soon. Yeah we’ve been having problems, but I can’t just blow her off.”
As much as it annoyed Santana, she understood where Quinn was coming from.
“Ok, Q. I get it. Just don’t be a stranger.”
“I won’t. Love you, San. Tell Britt I said hello.”
“Love you too, Q. Say hi to Manhands: The Sequel.”
Quinn rolled her eyes and hung up the phone.
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Rachel wasn’t sure if she had ever really been in love before, but she knew that it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Her girlfriend physically resembled a blonde from her past, but that was where the positive comparisons ended. Emily, though absolutely stunning, was a complete emotional train wreck.
Things were great for the first few months. They spent most of the summer in rehearsal, laughing and flirting and eventually hooking up after a long drunken night of Broadway karaoke. It felt good in the beginning. Electric. Emily was like a tornado that just completely swept Rachel in and spun her around. It was fantastically exhilarating until Rachel felt like she was spinning so quickly that she lost her bearings and couldn’t think of anything besides holding on for dear life.
She finally came to her senses while sitting in a diner across from Emily, a day after Thanksgiving, a week after Wicked wrapped, and a month after she really should have ended their relationship.
Against all rational judgment, Rachel brought Emily home to meet her fathers for Thanksgiving. It was a disaster, as should have been predicted. Emily was loud and exuberant and always needed to be the center of attention. Rachel found those qualities endearing when they first got together, but was soon irritated beyond belief. She never thought she would use the word as an insult, but Emily was a complete diva. The night before she dominated conversation, and even though Rachel hadn’t seen her fathers in months, Emily would pout every time she wasn’t the topic of conversation. It ended with the three Berrys gaping open-mouthed as Emily executed a flawless storm out of the dining room.
In that moment at the diner, every little moment of hesitation Rachel had felt about Emily in the past months came rushing to the surface. She couldn’t stand to be around the girl anymore. With her spoon of vanilla ice cream hovering in the air, Rachel couldn’t hold back the surge of words.
“I think that we should see other people.”
Emily looked stunned - eyes wide, face reddening, chest starting to heave. Rachel knew it was bad timing, that the other girl would probably cause a scene, but she couldn’t stop herself. Rachel tried to do damage control, although she knew it wouldn’t work.
“It’s not you, Em. It’s me. I’m just not emotionally available right now. It’s not fair to you to continue with our relationship when I know that I’m not able to put everything I have into it. The show is over and I’m auditioning for touring productions. I’m going into the final semester of NYU and I need to concentrate on this final push with my studies. I just don’t think that I will be able to give you the attention that you deserve.”
The verbal floodgates were open, and Rachel couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of her mouth. She looked at Emily’s shaking hand and wished she had picked a time to have this conversation when there wasn’t sharp cutlery anywhere around.
“You are leaving ME?!?” Emily screamed, pushing her plate back loudly and standing up.
Rachel looked at her in horror, unsure of what to do. It was worse than she expected.
“No one leaves me. You hear that? No one.” The blonde grabbed her coat and whipped her scarf around her neck. “You’ll come running back, Rachel Berry. And on that day you will wish you never even heard the name Emily Holmes!”
Rachel’s eyebrows scrunched together and she continued to stare at the girl, acutely aware that all the diner’s patrons were turned towards their table, and praying that Emily would just storm out already.
Emily grabbed Rachel by the collar and pulled her up out of the chair. Rachel’s Slushie instincts kicked in and she closed her eyes tightly, unsure of what the girl’s next move would be. She felt Emily’s breath, hot on her face. The blonde must have been less than an inch away.
“You will never find someone as good as me, Rachel.” Emily hissed venomously.
She pulled Rachel forward to close the small distance between them and passionately kissed her before dropping the brunette back into her seat and storming out of the diner, the little bell on the door almost breaking off from the strength of her slam.
The rest of the diners were silent for a moment, and then went back to their chatter. Rachel sat at the table, head in her hands, her face completely red.
“Holy shit!” Santana whispered from across the room, shaking her head.
“I know!” Brittany replied, “I can’t believe that girl completely left her banana split with Rachel! Think I can go get it?”
Santana grabbed her phone and texted Quinn.
I swear to god if I didn’t know you were in CT I’d think it was your evil twin who just dumped Rachel at the Main St Diner. Perfect diva storm-out and all!
In her dorm room in Connecticut, Quinn looked down from her crying (now ex) girlfriend to her phone. She read the message and didn’t know how to respond, so she didn’t. A minute later she felt the phone vibrate again. This one was from Brittney.
She looks just like you! And Alex looks like Rachel! Can I eat your evil twin’s banana split?
Quinn’s eyebrows scrunched together. She watched Alex walk out of the room.
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That night, Quinn lay in bed staring at her ceiling in the dark. She hadn’t let herself think about Rachel Berry in a long time. Most of her memories from high school were a little fuzzy around the edges by this time. She could remember certain parts of her life in Ohio, but when she thought about it now it felt less like her actual past and more like a familiar movie she remembered watching years ago.
Her memory of the last night she spent with Rachel was almost foggy - as if she couldn’t distinguish the finer details around the outside of the story, and was only left with the extreme feeling of peace that the other girl instilled in her. It was a feeling that she hadn’t gotten back to since that night. Her life since she left Lima was hectic. Graduating early, working through the summers, applying and planning for a graduate program abroad. She longed for that familiar calm that used to settle in her stomach when she was with Rachel.
Quinn pulled out her phone and scrolled down to Rachel’s number. She looked at the screen for a solid few minutes, letting her eyes linger on each letter of the girl’s name. She wanted desperately to reach out to Rachel. But what would she say? Sorry we haven’t spoken in a few years, but let’s sit quietly on the phone so I can feel like myself again? I know we were never very good friends but being around you used to make me feel complete? Quinn couldn’t imagine any of those things coming from the mouth of a sane person. And besides, it was well past midnight. That would just make the call even creepier.
She exhaled sharply and snapped the phone shut. She closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.
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Rachel spent that night in Lima alone with her fathers. They didn’t question her when she came back from the diner alone, and silently nodded when Rachel told them she was going for a walk.
She let her mind wander as her feet moved, thinking about the last time she was in Ohio, thinking about her life in high school, thinking about how much and yet how little she had changed.
Somehow she ended up in the middle of a clearing not too far from her house. She recognized the place in the moonlight, although the crickets weren’t chirping and the air was crisp and cool, filled with the soft smell of frost. The old path had grown over and there was no music in the air, but Rachel felt the same comfortable safety from that night rushing back through her as if no time had passed at all. It was an odd feeling. Something she didn’t have in the hustle and bustle of her life in New York. Something she distinctly associated with Lima. If she were being honest she would say more specifically, something she associated with Quinn.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. It was maybe the third model she had since high school, but she always programmed the same numbers in. She scrolled through, smiling at Artie, Brittney, Finn, even Puck and Santana. She paused at Quinn Fabray, clicking on the name, pursing her lips. Her finger hovered on the send button, biting her lip, holding her breath.
But it had been too long and it was too late. What would she even say? I miss your silence? I miss the comfortable quiet that I’ve only ever shared with you? I’ve never felt as peaceful and grounded as I did that night we kissed without saying anything? All of those things sounded ridiculous, and Rachel knew it.
She put the phone back in her pocket and walked home.