fic: fresh stains and forget-me-knots; Part 2
Title: fresh stains and forget-me-knots
Author: puchuupoet
Pairing: Gabriel/Castiel
Word Count: ~15,400
Rating: nc-17
Heads-up: Takes place between 5.16 and 5.19 (spoilers for events in both those episodes); language, adult situations, incest
Disclaimer: Not mine, never happened, completely fictional.
Notes: Written for the Gabriel Big Bang, with wonderful artwork by ninurta (which can be found here)
Part 1
When they reach the campsite, Castiel's feet and back are aching, his clothes damp with mud and sweat and who knows what else. He sits down on the log in one heavy movement, the wood creaking underneath him.
"Are we going anywhere else tonight?" He calls out. Gabriel had disappeared into the woods, heading in the general direction of the car.
"No plans for it!" The words seems to come out of nowhere, and a moment later Gabriel emerges, carrying a paper bag. "I'm going to start in on the fish, unless you want to take a stab at it?"
Castiel shakes his head, then focuses his attention on working at the knots in his laces, trying to get the boots off as quickly as possible. He can't seem to get a good grip, the knots catching on more than just themselves. With difficulty he pulls the boot off, holding it up to inspect it.
Covering the bootlaces are small burrs, desperately clinging to any available space. A few are still attached to the thin stems, tiny flowers shaking as Castiel plucks at each seed. The action is tedious, but after a few minutes Castiel feels himself start to relax. He focuses on the pile of seeds growing next to him, and soon the ache throughout his body starts to fade into the background. He finishes up the one boot, tugging it back on before tackling the other.
By the time Castiel's boots are free from the tacky burrs, Gabriel's putting the fish on the fire. Castiel's pleased to see that he's brought a pan along with him, rather than using sticks to spear the carcasses over the flames. Castiel is the first to admit that his views on camping are heavily influenced by the movies Sam and Dean watch. While he knows the situations are exaggerated for comedic effect, he also admits that there is a slice of honesty in everything out there.
"Got stuck with the 'nots there?" Gabriel gestures him closer to the fire, handing Castiel an empty plate.
"You mean the burrs?"
"Yeah. The plants are called forget-me-nots, and their little stickers are a pain in the ass to get off of you. Berries were worth it though," Gabriel winks at Castiel.
"Why that?"
Gabriel pokes at the fish with a spatula, carefully flipping the pieces over before glancing over at Castiel. "Legend has it, in Germany, I think, that when God was naming all the plants, this tiny little flower called out to Him, "Forget-me-not, Lord!" And Dad, being the way he is, was just 'That will be your name then.' He's always had a sense of humor, hasn't he?"
"Not very funny at the moment though. He could step in every now and then." The thought hits Castiel like a punch in the gut, and he tries to distract himself. Remembering the berry patch helps, and the way Gabriel's eyes dilated at Castiel's touch.
"You there, champ?" Gabriel's looking at him quizzically when Castiel meets his eyes. "Got some dinner for you, if you're hungry."
Castiel accepts the food before moving back to the log, making sure to leave Gabriel room. They eat in silence, the night slipping through the tree branches.
"It's chilly here," Castiel comments, and the remark catches him off guard. He was getting used to experiencing the highs and lows of the day, maybe even the ache of the sunburn, but his body was shaking every few minutes now.
"There's sweatshirts in the car, if you want to grab one." Gabriel doesn't move from his spot on the log when Castiel gets up.
"Do you want one?"
"I'm good, thanks."
The trip is short but somewhat terrifying in the dark, Castiel being cautious with each step. The clothing is shoved in the backseat, and within a minute he's heading back to the campsite.
When he steps back into the clearing, the tent is suddenly standing and Gabriel is standing there with a guilty look on his face.
"That was fast," Castiel comments, noting a pile of blankets next to the log by the fire.
"Hey, I did mention I still had some powers."
"Tent-building powers?"
"It's getting late and cold. And I still feel bad about getting you sunburned." Gabriel moves to sit against the log. "Come over here." Gabriel pats at the blankets next to him. "It's nice over here. And there's beer."
Castiel eyes him distrustfully. "I'd rather not."
Gabriel's eyes are sharp in the darkness. "Trust me, okay? I've got your back. Plus I'll even be the DD from here all the way to the tent over there. I want you to see this."
Castiel makes his way over to the blanket, sitting down next to Gabriel. He still leaves a gap between them, and he carefully leans back against the wood.
"Close your eyes and lean back," Gabriel instructs him, wriggling down against the log. Castiel follows suit, discovering that Gabriel had thrown another blanket over the log to cushion it.
Everything's amplified with his eyes closed, the forest sounding as if it's closing in on him, reverberating through all his senses.
Several minutes pass before he can feel Gabriel move, roll towards him and close the space between them. "Open them now," Gabriel whispers, his breath warm against Castiel's neck. He can smell the beer Gabriel's been drinking, how the words slide from his lips. Castiel blindly turns towards him, wanting to chase after the taste, but Gabriel pulls back with an amused huff of laughter.
"Come on now, the night's young. Save it for later." There's a teasing purr to Gabriel's voice, and Castiel flushes, glad of the darkness that surrounds them. Gabriel nudges him, "Come on, open up."
Castiel's careful when he does so, unsure of what to expect. But all he can see are the thick tree trunks surrounding their campsite, reaching up to brush against the night sky. The branches fade away, leaving only streaks of stars for Castiel to focus on.
He's seen them before, close up and fiery hot; an unbelievable force he's always been in awe of. This new distance makes him ache, makes him realize what Gabriel's taken away from him.
"They're gorgeous, aren't they?" Gabriel's whisper cuts through the hum of the forest. "Instead of looking down on worlds, you're looking up at universe."
"Universes." Castiel absently corrects him, unable to look away from the view above.
"You're a spoilsport, you know? Let me have my small pleasures."
"I thought this whole weekend was for your pleasure."
"You still don't really get it, do you?" Castiel can hear the earnestness in Gabriel's tone, and he rolls over onto his side to face him.
"What are you expecting me to get?"
Gabriel rolls over, mimicking Castiel's movement. "Humanity is worth saving, I know, and I'm right there with you for it. But that doesn't mean they're gonna be there for you in return. I'm not doubting their dedication," he clarifies, seeing the looking on Castiel's face. "But Cas, just think it through, okay? And you're not alone, for what it's worth," Gabriel adds, rolling back to face the sky.
Castiel doesn't move, his eyes locked on Gabriel's face. "What do you mean?" He can feel the beer again, rolling through his vessel. It's a different feeling than the liquor; a warmer, more comfortable one, and he finds himself both comforted and encouraged by it.
Gabriel sighs before looking over at him. "I know things are horrible right now, everywhere you turn. And that the Winchesters are promising resolutions of some sort. But just, consider that maybe they're not the only ones who can offer a way out or some sort of comfort, okay? That's all." Gabriel reaches down to grab at his beer, taking a long pull from the bottle.
"Fight for him Castiel, if that's what keeps you going. But don't make him your world, your cause, 'cause you don't know if he'll be around for you the same way. He has Sam, has more girlfriends than fingers and toes, and I mean fuck, he has that car, Cas. What do you have?"
Castiel stares at him, Gabriel's words echoing in his head. He waits until Gabriel's set the beer back down, is focusing his gaze back on the stars above them.
"What are you asking?" Castiel's voice is soft, not wanting to startle either of them.
"Don't worry about it."
But Castiel's insistent, and he reaches before really thinking, grabbing at Gabriel's free hand. As he tangles their fingers together he realizes both of their hands are clammy. He doesn't stop to think about it, but he can feel the way Gabriel hesitates.
"What is it?"
"What are you doing?" Gabriel's voice is barely a whisper.
"I have you..."
Gabriel doesn't move, and Castiel is pretty sure that he's holding his breath right now. He tugs softly on Gabriel's hand, moving himself closer to the other angel. He leans in close, listening to the sharp intake of breath as he whispers in Gabriel's ear.
"What did you really bring me out here to tell me?"
Castiel waits for Gabriel to respond, finally pulling back to look at him. The alcohol's giving him confidence he didn't realize he had, and he can see now why Dean's so fond of it. Castiel lets go of Gabriel's hand, reaching up to cup at his jaw. His touch is still tentative, but he's encouraged when he feels Gabriel lean into it.
Castiel freezes like that, caught up in Gabriel's gaze. His mouth is dry, the beer quickly forgotten, and he licks at his lips. Gabriel's eyes track the movement, his mouth parting in a soft gasp.
"What're you doing?" Gabriel's voice is barely audible, and Castiel leans in closer to hear him better. Castiel shakes his head softly, the uncertainty making his head buzz.
Gabriel decides for him, leaning over to close the gap between them. He presses his mouth to Castiel's, soft and warm and Castiel whines low in his throat at the touch. He admits to himself that he had hoped for this, wanted this but never actually expected for it to happen.
Gabriel pulls back at the noise, his brow furrowed. "Don't tell me I misread it all?" He asks, biting at his lower lip.
Castiel can't remember the last time he had see Gabriel like this, vulnerable and uncertain, and the sight before him twists at him in awkward and wonderful ways.
"No," Castiel responds, smiling in an attempt at reassurance.
"Oh, thank god." Gabriel grins, throwing a leg over Castiel's and pulling himself closer.
"Gabriel..." Castiel warns, but he just shakes his head at Castiel's tone of voice.
"Little things, okay? And really, I'm sure he doesn't mind about it. Should even be used to it by now."
"Can we not discuss this now?" Castiel asks, not wanting to merge these images of his Father and Gabriel before him.
Gabriel responds by sliding an arm around Castiel's shoulder, fingers teasing against the nape of his neck. He kisses Castiel again, his fingers kneading and encouraging. Castiel arches against the touch, pulling away from the kiss.
A low whine escapes from Gabriel and he pulls Castiel back in. "Not letting you go so easily this time," he purrs, and Castiel grips at him even tighter.
They keep kissing, until Castiel is breathless and whimpering deep in the back of his throat, grabbing at Gabriel's t-shirt.
"Hold on a second," Gabriel murmurs, lifting his leg from over Castiel's, shifting around so that he's able to slide it in-between Castiel's thighs. "Better?"
Castiel doesn't realize what Gabriel's talking about until Castiel rocks forward, against, reaching in to nip at Gabriel's neck.
Castiel's been squirming against the seam of his cargo pants ever since Gabriel kissed him, aiming for some sort of relief. But this, this is beyond anything he had ever hoped for.
Gabriel moves his leg up a little bit more, and Castiel pushes his hips forward, harder than expected. He whimpers when the sparks shoot through him, gasping out nonsense against Gabriel's neck. Castiel can hear him chuckle, feel it reverberate down his body and echo through his own nerves.
"Don't tell me you've never gotten yourself off before."
Castiel shakes his head and tries to slow his body down, reign it back in under control. But Gabriel's fingers are tracing over his back, dipping below Castiel's belt and he's finding it hard to concentrate on speaking.
"I have, just... not like this." Castiel trails off when Gabriel's hands move to cover his ass, grasp at him and pull him up against him. Castiel groans at the touch. "Never with someone else."
There's still berry juice caught in the corners of Gabriel's mouth, and Castiel pauses the conversation to seek it out, his tongue chasing the purple stains.
Gabriel groans at the touch, his grip tightening on Castiel's waist. "Wanna move this to the tent?" his voice is raspy against Castiel's face. "There's an inflatable mattress in there and everything, and we can get you out of those dirty clothes."
"With no ulterior motives in mind?" Castiel leans back to meet Gabriel's eyes.
Gabriel barks out a laugh. "You know I can't promise that."
=======
In the past Castiel's never come across any personal issues with nudity, and while that hasn't changed, he is acutely aware of a heated flush rising through his body when he strips down in front of Gabriel. "Nothing I haven't seen before," his brother teases, but there's a softness in Gabriel's voice that makes Castiel want to pull him close.
It's not until he's about to climb under the blankets that Castiel feels the need to pee. When he moves to go back outside in his current state, Gabriel stops him.
"Why not?" Castiel asks Gabriel. "There's no one around anyways."
"As much as I'm enjoying your streak of attractive immodesty, not all humans would feel the same way." Gabriel laughs at the exasperated look on Castiel's face. "Besides, gotta protect the goods. The forest can be a dangerous place for a guy's junk."
Castiel just stares at him. "All my clothes are dirty. Or still wet," he tells Gabriel pointedly.
"Here." Gabriel rummages around in a bag he has stashed to the side of the mattress. He tosses a pair of shorts at Castiel. "And to finish it up, making sure you don't catch a cold or any one of those annoying human symptoms. They're a pain in the ass to get rid of." He grabs the bottom of his t-shirt and pulls it up and over his head. "In case it's cold out," he explains to Castiel's bemused look.
Castiel takes the offered clothing, awkwardly tugging them on in the confines of the tent. He can feel Gabriel's gaze on him, and while he doesn't mind it, he's slightly self-conscious in a way he wasn't aware of before. He leans back to fasten the fly of the shorts, and from the corner of his eye he can see Gabriel lick his lips.
The trip into the woods is a quick one, Castiel motivated along by the cold and various noises the night was making. He creeps back into the tent, quietly zipping it closed before crawling back under the blankets. Gabriel seems almost asleep, his breathing deep and regular, but when Castiel lies down his arm reaches out to pull Castiel close.
===
In the middle of the night, Castiel awakes suddenly, the cries of an owl above startling him out of sleep. He rolls over, kicking out at the confines of the sleeping bag. The air mattress shifts underneath him, still suspiciously plump, and Castiel feels that Gabriel may have lied about how limited all his powers were this weekend.
The other side of the bed is empty when Castiel reaches out, the flannel lining still warm to the touch. Raising his head, he can see that the tent's empty, the doorway unzipped a couple of inches at the bottom.
Castiel settles back down, focusing on the noises outside the tent. It's darker than he was expecting, and he wonders how long they've slept for. There's rustling in the bushes nearby, the soft noises from an owl up above, and Castiel finds himself thankful for this temporary state of humanity shutting out the rest of the night noises.
He pulls the sleeping bags tighter around him, trying to keep the heat in for when Gabriel comes back. The fabric smells like the other angel, like them and Castiel finds himself quickly falling back to sleep.
Castiel jerks awake when the air is split by a piercing shriek, the noise making him sit up. He pulls the fabric around him tighter, an instinctive reaction he didn't know he had. He kicks the sleeping bag off, making his way towards the door. His fingers fumble on the cold zipper, and he cautiously looks outside, hyperaware of his current state.
The moon lays a stark white stripe across the clearing, but Castiel doesn't see anything different from when he and Gabriel had gone to bed earlier in the evening.
There's another scream off in the distance, not as shrill as before but it leaves Castiel trembling. He's pretty sure he knows where it's coming from, and through the shadows he can see the trailhead heading off in the direction of the noise.
He stands and makes his way towards it, pausing to look back at the tent. A knot rises in his throat, the sensation new and disconcerting, and he chokes it back as he makes his way down the trail. Another yell and Castiel knows for sure it's Gabriel, the sound making his stomach churn. He picks up his pace and begins to run, low hanging branches smacking him in the face. He does his best to duck and avoid them, but getting to Gabriel in time is the only thing he can focus on right now.
Castiel pushes himself forward, shrubs whipping against his legs and he's only vaguely aware that he's still in the shorts and t-shirt Gabriel had given him earlier. He loses track of time, winding through the forest; around stumps and rocks and doing his best to clear fallen trees.
The branches clear up suddenly, forcing Castiel into another clearing, smaller than the one he and Gabriel are camping in. The sudden lack of resistance causes him to stumble, propelling him to his knees.
He stays that way, palms pressed into the dirt and fallen leaves, trying to catch his breath until a harsh chuckle catches his attention. As he looks up his gaze passes over a shadowed heap on the ground.
"Well, look what the cat dragged in. Or rather, the archangel to the middle of the fucking boonies. I find that quite fascinating, you realize."
"How'd you find us?" Castiel's voice is hoarse, unaccustomed to feeling the physical exertions of his vessel.
"Family's never far from my thoughts, brothers." Lucifer emphasizes the last word with a kick to the heap at his feet, rolling it over in one smooth motion, sprawling Gabriel out between the two of them. Gabriel's face is laced with blood, and Castiel can't tell what's a stain and what's a cut. Gabriel's motionless, save for when Lucifer distastefully nudges at him again with one toe, and Castiel prays that he's just unconscious; unaware of what has happened to him.
"Now you," Lucifer's eyes flicker dismissively over Castiel, "I really couldn't care less about. Except my brother here seems to have taken an interest in you, as well as those Winchesters. But Gabriel has enough of an interest to hide you from me, to temper your powers and bind you close. Happen to know why that is?"
Castiel shakes his head automatically, too busy trying to process all that Lucifer's just said.
"Love's an interesting phenomenon. Not that often when it comes to humans," Castiel can hear the disdain in Lucifer's tone, "but when it comes to angels and the like. We're supposed to be above that, you know. Or just find solace in a higher love. But sometimes things slip through cracks, like what my brother here is feeling towards you. He doesn't just want to fuck you, or cuddle close," Lucifer sneers. "He thinks you're worth protecting, from humans and angels and me, of all things. Me, your actual brother, he feels is a threat."
"You are." Castiel growls out, finally focusing on Lucifer. Gabriel is still at his feet, and all Castiel can hope for is that he's playing possum.
"Daddy hasn't stepped up recently, has he?" Lucifer easily switches topics, punctuating the change with a quick kick to Gabriel's thigh. "Left you alone to man the ship as it sinks. Down, down, torn between saving souls and trying to find where the captain is hiding."
"I will find my Father, and He will take great pleasure in punishing you," Castiel stays his ground, doing his best to avoid the temptation to move in closer. Despite his appearance, Lucifer is quick, too agile for Castiel, especially with Gabriel flung between them. He is everything to Castiel, nothing to Lucifer, and the Devil will be quick to use him as leverage.
"Talking like a pesky little human already now, are we? Not that surprised, not with the way you leech off them, hoping to pick up some thread of emotion, something to cling to, to call your own. The Winchesters are tiring of you, Castiel, and with good reason. You hold them back, give them unattainable goals, and get in their way. It's no surprise Dean sees you as a hobbling resource and nothing more."
Castiel waits, eyes flickering between Lucifer's steely gaze and Gabriel, motionless in the dirt. A week ago, Lucifer's taunts would have hit home, causing even more doubt in Castiel's mind. But now... Now Castiel knows better. Dean is still vital, still important to Castiel, as is Sam, but it's different now.
His jeans are softer now, after several days of hard work and being broken in, and one pocket is heavier, the object weighty against Castiel's thigh. Castiel aches for his powers, for the ability to reach out and crush Lucifer's head, but even if he did have them, they still wouldn't be enough.
There's a familiar flickering though, a slight tremble through his body that gives him hope. In the moonlight Castiel can see how Lucifer's face burns, patches of skin flaking off. His vessel is taut, about to burst from the power it contains, and while it's dangerous, Castiel is tempted by it.
Another flicker reminds Castiel to concentrate, thinking hard about the object and his hand. Gabriel slips into his field of thought, and before he knows it, the prone figure at Lucifer's feet coughs and shudders. It's enough to distract him, for Castiel to grasp onto the thread in his mind and pull, to be rewarded with the heavy weight landing in the palm of his hand. His fingers tighten around it automatically, hiding it from view. Keeping his breath even, Castiel readies the knife, unfolding it and locking it into place.
Brother. Gabriel's voice springs into Castiel's head. Promised you I'd only use this for good. Get ready.
Castiel has enough time to tighten his grip on the knife when Gabriel lashes out, kicking at Lucifer's kneecaps. He stumbles forward and Castiel rushes towards him. It's all a mad rush in his head, but somehow he remembers to push forward with the knife, the blade tearing into Lucifer's belly.
Castiel keeps pushing, pulling back only to strike harder. The hand holding the knife is hot; in hindsight he'll realize it's the blood streaking out and covering him. All he can see is Gabriel's face in his mind, blood spider webbing over his face, eyes rolled back in his head. The threat of death, even if Lucifer isn't wielding a sword.
"I. Am. Not. Your. Brother." Castiel punctuates each word with another sharp stab to Lucifer's gut. He's close to not caring if Lucifer smites him now, with Gabriel seemingly lifeless next to him. As long as he leaves his existence like this, bloody and vengeful and making a mark.
Cas... The voice is weak, but Castiel can hear Gabriel in his head. He pushes Lucifer off of him; throughout the attack, the archangel hadn't fought back at all. The vessel falls to the dirt, lifeless and empty.
"Dammit." As much as Castiel's heard Dean throw the word around, it still tastes foreign on his tongue. He can feel a new energy thrum through him, and he tests it with a snap of his fingers. Gabriel is suddenly in his arms, his body effortlessly slung against Castiel's arms, cradled close. It feels awkward though, and Castiel adjusts it until he's holding the full weight of his fallen brother.
He can't sense Lucifer around anymore, no thrumming of power threatening to take them both out again. Turning around, Castiel can vaguely see the outline of the path he had burst out of earlier, and he starts the long trek back to camp, Gabriel cradled close.
Camping without Gabriel making fun of him is unsettling, Castiel decides. He had awkwardly set his brother down in the tent, as much on the sleeping bag as possible. There had been extra blankets in the trunk of the car, and now two of them were draped over Gabriel as well. A flashlight fashioned into the shape of a lantern sits in the corner, filling the tent with light.
Castiel sits near the fire, looking at the first aid kit he had taken from the glove box. There were band-aids of all types, straight, padded, butterfly, circular, but nothing that seemed fitting for what had happened to Gabriel. Even Castiel wasn't completely sure of the extent of the injuries, but he wanted to give Gabriel a moment to himself before being attacked with medical supplies.
Castiel had tried healing the cuts and bruises himself, and when that didn't work, he tried snapping the blood away. But it stayed put, drying and cracking on Gabriel's face, and that was when Castiel had headed for the Neosporin and band aids. At least Gabriel had brought along the kit with the catgut and needles, and Castiel hoped that his brother hadn't expected for this to be the outcome of their weekend together.
A soft groan from the tent grabs Castiel's attention, and he quickly moves towards the sound, the first aid kit grasped firmly in his hand.
"Gabriel?"
"In the flesh. Or whatever's left of it." His voice is a weak rasp.
"Enough to get by," Castiel tells him, kneeling down next to the sleeping bag. One of Gabriel's eyes is swollen shut, the other starting to purple.
"Bastard didn't get me then?"
"No..." Not yet is what Castiel wants to tell him. "What happened before I got there?"
"I don't even remember you showing up. Just a blur when you tackled him. But he did things, Cas. Got to me." Gabriel's voice trails off almost shamefully, then picks up. "This wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to be safe. What the hell was I thinking?"
"You were thinking of me, and us, and saving the world," Castiel reminds him, reaching to the side of the tent to grab the bottle of pain killers. "You were being selfless."
"Flattery will get you everywhere. Especially when paired with pain pills. He lured me there, Cas. Said he had something to talk about, then attacked."
"With what?"
"Hell if I know. It was silver and hot and he did a number on me. Nothing I've seen before, but I've avoided Hell for awhile now."
"Your shirt's soaked."
"You wanna see why?" Gabriel tilts his head to the side, offering the side of his neck to Castiel.
Castiel carefully peels back strips of fabric, slowly exposing several deep cuts criss-crossing Gabriel's shoulder and collarbone. Blood pools there, but Castiel can see the thin skin of drying blood stretched across the cuts throb with Gabriel's heartbeat. It's still pulsing up, albeit slowly, and there's a sick twist in Castiel's stomach.
"We have to take care of this, now."
"You can, but fuck if I can hold a beer right now, let alone a needle."
Castiel almost wants to shake Gabriel, for his need to be glib in every serious situation he finds himself in. But he grips at his own legs instead, and the sharp quick burst of pain distracts him.
"Are you saying you don't have faith in my sewing skills?" Castiel waits until Gabriel meets his eyes, until he sees Gabriel softly shift his head from side to side. "Do you need anything before I start?"
Gabriel huffs out a weak chuckle, and the sound is music to Castiel's ears. "Let's see how this goes first. Save the heavy duty pain killers for when it gets really bad."
Castiel wants to ask him, If this isn't bad, then what is? but he settles for "deal."
"Do you actually know how to stitch up a wound?" Gabe starts to push himself up into a sitting position. "It's not like how it is on TV."
Castiel carefully presses down on Gabriel's shoulder, pushing him back down onto the sleeping bag. "You're assuming I watch the same things you do." He's silent then, lips pursed as he threads the needle. "Besides, I've seen Sam and Dean do this before."
Castiel's gaze flickers up to meet Gabriel's, and a moment passes before Gabriel nods. "I know."
Castiel turns his focus back to the task on hand. The bleeding's lessened, and he carefully wipes around the wound. It's a clean cut, something Castiel should be thankful for, but all he can see is how deep it seems to go into Gabriel.
"Everything okay?" Gabriel's voice cuts through his thoughts. Castiel moves the lantern closer in, illuminating the almost black blood covering Gabriel.
"Yes." Castiel does his best to clear his head, bringing up memories of being around the Winchesters when it all hit the fan. A memory suddenly hits him and he looks up at Gabriel. "Do you need anything? Something to bite on or liquor or..."
"Hey, I'm fine." Gabe's tone is soothing. "As well as I can be, really. But still. Take a deep breath and dive in. You can do it."
Castiel nods at him before leaning back down over Gabriel's side. He can see how Lucifer's weapon pierced his brother, the different layers of skin and muscles and the depth, and he tries not to panic. Castiel's not sure how to secure the thread; usually Sam does something with his teeth to knot it, but Castiel never watched closely enough to remember. He manages a lopsided knot, doubling it over several times until he's satisfied it's bigger than the eye of the needle.
The first stab into Gabriel is hard to make himself do, and even Gabe can't stop himself from grunting at the experience. "Bastard," he gasps out, reaching out to clutch at Castiel's leg. "Be gentle."
"Who's the one who said no powers?" Castiel returns, not looking at him. He's trying to stay focused, now that he has a slight rhythm going. Up and down, over and under, wipe the weeping blood away. He can do this, and he works on tuning out Gabriel's rambling.
"We still have beer right? In the cooler?" It's random, he knows, but Gabriel has to shut up to think about it. Castiel takes that moment to tighten the very last stitch, checking the rest of it before tying off the end.
"Fuck yes, there better be." Gabriel finally says, watching Castiel cut the thread with the small pair of scissors from the first aid kit. "I'm gonna be pissed if you drank it all."
Castiel smiles. "I'm pretty sure that desire's gone." He swipes the cloth over Gabriel's side one last time. "How does that feel?"
"Like being stabbed in the back by family." Gabriel pushes himself up to a sitting position, grimacing at the movement. "Other than that, awesome."
"Really?"
Gabriel just looks at him. "Not even close, princess. But as far as random patching up in the middle of the forest goes, you did good."
There's a burst of pride in Castiel that he tries to hide. Praise from his family is a rare enough event, and this time it's for his own skills, rather than some superpower granted to him by genetics. The lantern flickers, and with the need for such bright light over, Castiel leans over and turns it off.
It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the low light, but the moon is still strong outside. Soon Castiel can see Gabriel lying in front of him, how his brother is kneading at the sleeping bag in an attempt to not scratch at the stitches.
The tent rustles, the breeze picking up in the midnight hours. Castiel waits for it to settle back down, but the wind keeps building momentum. Gabriel catches Castiel's eyes, his own wide and worried.
Castiel carefully shifts towards the door of the tent, and he feels Gabriel's grip quick and tight around his wrist. When he looks back, Gabriel's shaking his head at him. He pulls harder on Castiel's arm, and Castiel resigns himself with laying down next to Gabriel, careful to avoid his wounded side.
"We can't take him like this." His brother's words are warm against the curve his ear, and with a start Castiel feels Gabriel's hand rest on his hip. "Gotta hide and get stronger."
"You think he doesn't know we're here?" Castiel's words are drowned out by the shriek of the wind cutting through the trees.
"Oh, he knows." Gabriel's fingers move up, underneath Castiel's shirt to rest on his side. "But we're wounded, half-conscious. He has some standards, especially when it comes to disposing of family." Gabriel tilts his head towards the door of the tent. "Look."
In hindsight, Castiel's grateful he had zipped shut the door earlier. The night before Gabriel had protested that closing it cut them off from the stars and sounds of the night. Castiel had argued that it cut them off from the insects and creatures who would come into the tent and do unknowable horrors to them. They were all God's children, but Castiel doesn't remember anything about his close relation to the centipede or scorpion.
The moon's beams hit the figure standing in the clearing at an angle, casting its shadow against the fabric of the door. The form barely moves, and Castiel's not sure if it's just the wind shifting and bumping it along at this point. They stay that way, watching the bend and sway of the silhoutte amid the wailing noise of the wind above.
Castiel doesn't know how much time has passed when Lucifer raises an arm, and the following gesture cements in Castiel's mind that it's his brother out there, doing who knows what. Lucifer waves at the tent, a little wriggle in the wrist that leaves Gabriel tensing, his hand gripping hard on Castiel's side.
"Bastard's just mocking us now."
"When hasn't he?" Castiel murmurs back, unable to tear his eyes away from the tent wall. With a sharp crack that rattles the ground, Lucifer drops his arm back down to his side, disappearing into the shadows.
"Do you think he's left us?"
"I know just as much as you do, Cas. Less than, since you're able to go and stick your head out the door before me." There's a teasing tone in Gabriel's voice, but a worried look crosses his face. "Sounds like he's cleared out though."
Castiel cautiously sticks his head out of the tent. Their campsite isn't too trashed, but the current state leaves an uneasy feeling in the pit of Castiel's stomach. "What do we do now?" he finally asks. The uncertainty is unnerving. And while he doesn't regret any of his decisions so far, he finds that he can't hide from the loss of orders, that comfortable blind submission that at least allowed him peace of mind. Even if it did turn out to be false.
"We fight." Gabriel struggles to get to his feet. Castiel raises an eyebrow before moving back into the tent. He lines up next to him, helping Gabriel up and slowly out of the tent. Castiel watches the look on Gabriel's face as he takes in the destruction.
There is a cleanliness in the chaos, which is what's most disturbing to Castiel. If it had looked as if a bear had rummaged through their belongings, that would be one thing. But Lucifer's destruction was deceptively simple. The few things he had left of theirs were slit open or likewise destroyed. Not for the joy of destruction, but for the joy that came from knowing the items were now useless. Castiel can't see the car from the tent, but he assumes that something has happened to that as well. Slashed tires or cut hoses and brake lines.
Lucifer has left them with an improvement to their campfire. It's ringed with several layers of stacked flat river rocks, thick boughs stacked high within the circle. The flames are large, unnaturally so, and Castiel's pretty sure he can see tinges of Hellfire encouraging them even higher. It is the very threat of a forest fire, neatly leashed before him, and the restraint Lucifer is showing them is even more of a threat than anything Castiel could imagine.
"Gabe?" His voice is tentative, trying out the nickname. He's rewarded with a blinding grin, blood staining the gums. "You're suggesting fighting, now? We don't know where he's gone and all this..."
"No, no. No fighting now." Gabriel waves his hand dismissively. "We heal and drink and get our asses back to reality." He checks his watch. "But we still have several hours left before our powers come back one hundred percent. There's a couple places around here that can hide us. Really hide us," he adds when Castiel starts to interrupt. "From that jackhole and everyone else kissing his ass."
"And then we fight?"
"Then we fight."
----
The thin streaks of early morning start to filter through the branches, illuminating the campsite, but it's not until the birds close by start chirping that Castiel is reminded to take a break. He's been going through supplies ever since the Lucifer disappeared, even if deep down he's the first to admit it's a pointless exercise. As soon as their powers come back, they'll dispose of whatever was ruined and create what's needed, with no reason to hold on to anything here. But it's something to do; busywork, as Dean would call it, and for the time being Castiel is thankful for it.
"What does a brake line look like?" Gabriel yells from across the clearing, and Castiel's already regretting having shared that concern with him. He had told his brother not to move, to stay put in the car while Castiel gathered the valuables. Gabriel has interpreted that to mean within the radius of the car, and is now bent over the side, head ducked under the open hood.
"If you don't know, you shouldn't be touching it," Castiel yells back, and the power in his voice is surprising and refreshingly needed. He can understand why so many humans enjoy it, even if for all the misunderstood reasons in the wrong situations.
"I'll show you unknowledgeable touching!" Gabriel retorts, and Castiel is again reminded to take the pain killers away from him , even if his body seems to agree with the undertones of Gabriel's threat.
He's staring at the fire when Gabriel makes his way back to him, and Castiel is ready to tie him down somewhere, if only to keep the blood from pumping too hard and weeping through the stitches. The look on Gabriel's face silences him, and he watches as Gabriel nods his head towards the flames.
Castiel doesn't know what Gabriel's looking for, when suddenly he hears a sharp snap beside his head. He starts to turn towards the sound, but the sudden, immediate disappearance of the flames distracts him.
"Where did..." he starts, and Gabriel snorts at him.
"Two and a half days of being powerless, and you suddenly forget all that you're capable of." Gabriel slings an arm around Castiel's shoulder. "Welcome home, bro. Time to get back to business."
With newfound enthusiasm Castiel tackles the remaining belongings. He gets rid of everything damaged with a snap, turning to face the smaller pile with a sense of accomplishment. Gabriel is back at the vehicle, going over it once more as if he's assured that Lucifer has done something to it. Or if he doesn't fully believe that his powers are back one hundred percent.
Everything worth bringing back with them is packed away in three duffel bags. Castiel slings one over each shoulder before cradling the third in his arms. He's aware of the desire to slouch down under the weight, but he fights it. The path to the car seems wider than when he initially walked it three days ago, the ferns fluttering in the wind, pulling back from him.
"Ready to go?" Castiel sets the bags down on the edge of the open trunk. Gabriel had already taken care of the tent, snapping his fingers in such a way that the sleeping bag rolled itself up, the blankets flew up in the air to fold themselves, and the tent and poles clattered around before sliding gently into their bag.
"Yeah..." Gabriel slams the hood shut, but his grip lingers on its edge. "Was this all worth it? To you?"
Castiel responds with an echoing slam of the trunk, making his way around the vehicle to stand next to Gabriel. "Yes," he tells him simply, and Gabriel turns to face him.
"What if we've made it worse?" he whispers. "What if he takes it out on the world?"
"Then we stop him." Castiel reassures him. He reaches out automatically to grasp at Gabriel's shoulder, too late realizing it's the one he had just stitched up hours earlier. But Gabriel doesn't flinch, just holds the gaze between them.
"Did you repair yourself, then?"
"Sort of." Gabriel's tone is shy, and he makes no movement or offer to explain his words.
Castiel grasps the edge of the flannel button-up Gabriel's wearing, gently tugging it down and off his shoulder. He's wearing a black tank top underneath, a large square bandage pressed over the wound.
"It was still bleeding a little," Gabriel offers when Castiel glances at him. He reaches over to grab at the corner of the band aid, slowly pulling it off with a slight grimace.
"You could have removed that differently," Castiel remarks.
"Maybe, but that would've defeated the purpose of this whole weekend. And besides, you like to see me squirm."
Castiel huffs in annoyance, but he doesn't disagree. Rather, he's taken aback at the state of Gabriel's shoulder now. The only sign that there was anything there are a set of awkwardly stitched scars, light and raised against Gabriel's pale skin. If Castiel didn't know to look for them, he wouldn't have even noticed them there. Confused, he looks at Gabriel.
His brother hesitates before meeting Castiel's eyes again, and he reaches out, curling his fingers around Castiel's neck. Gabriel's palm is damp against his skin, and Castiel leans into the touch.
"You were there for me, have been this whole weekend." When Castiel opens his mouth in protest, Gabriel shakes his head. "More than anyone else has ever been. And I can't let myself forget that."
Gabriel's fingers tighten slightly in the small curls at the nape of Castiel's neck, and that's the only warning he gets before he's being pulled forward. Castiel can feel himself starting to trip over his feet, over roots, who knows what but Gabriel's arm is there, wrapping around his waist, grip firm on Castiel's side.
It's that same sweetly cloying scent as Friday, far too long ago for Castiel to even want to remember. Drowning in those feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, the knowledge that one more bottle and he could have convinced himself to walk anywhere. Another bar, a brothel, into the long line of headlights flashing by on the highway. Alcohol is like faith, he had realized, enough of it and you think that you can do anything, even the things that you may not want to. Obligations and debts that cling tight, even if they're not yours to carry or be bound to. But there can be satisfaction in those well. Moderation, he had finally concluded. Moderation is key.
Love is like that too, he thinks when Gabriel's mouth hits his, hard enough to clink grins together and for Castiel to taste blood. It just seems to encourage Gabriel on, a desperate fierceness that makes Castiel ache and respond with an equal fervor. He tightens his grip on Gabriel's shoulder, his thumb brushing over the scars, and they seem much larger under his touch. He can feel Gabriel shudder against him, gasping against his neck as Castiel strokes over the scars again.
"You're all I have left," Gabriel finally murmurs, his voice muffled by Castiel's shoulder. "We have to win this, no more dragging his bullshit games out any longer."
"I promise." Castiel turns to nuzzle against Gabriel's hair.
"And you better stop that thing you're doing with your thumb, or else we're unpacking the sleeping bag and not leaving until this afternoon."
There's no trail or road this far up in the forest, as far as Castiel can see. But Gabriel's the one driving, and he seems to see something to follow, laid out ahead of them through the trees. The car is quiet, save for Gabriel's muttered cursing when an unseen tree stump appears out of a clump of wild flowers. Castiel amuses himself by staring out the window and doing his best to not think of the apocalypse. As long as they're in the forest, he's claiming vacation hours.
The car slowly edges near a copse of trees, and both angels lean forward to get a better look, Gabriel falling silent at the sight. Through a gap in the trees they can see a clearing, the surrounding trunks slashed and burned. The raw pale meat of the trees is edged with black crisped bark, the contrast sharp against the muted tones of the surrounding vegetation.
Gabriel suddenly presses down hard on the gas, the rear tires spinning for traction, until the car is propelled forward and away from the sight. Castiel is at a loss for words, and after a glance to his left, is sure none would suffice for the moment anyways. He leans back in his seat and tries to recall the taste of fresh sun-warmed blackberries.
---
They're in the middle of nowhere, the stretch of asphalt spread before them the only sign that someone else has been here before. All of the windows of the truck are down, a hot breeze whipping through the vehicle and scattering papers around. A single snap has it all back in place, file folders stuffed and organized, and there's a sleepy chuckle from the passenger seat.
"Didn't miss it, did you?"
Gabriel takes a hand of the steering wheel to reach over and ruffle Castiel's hair. "What, the powers or the vehicle choice? Cause the Outback's better in a forest by a long shot." At Castiel's annoyed glare, Gabriel chuckles. "No, but you can't say it didn't help out, can you?"
Castiel hums his agreement, leaning up into Gabriel's touch. The sweep of fingers turns into a rougher scratching, and Castiel opens one eye at Gabriel.
"What time are they expecting us?"
"You're asking me that question? You've seen what I can do with time, right? What'd you have in mind?" Gabriel starts to pull back but Castiel grabs his wrist, kissing the pulse point. "Oh. Oh. Yeah, we've got time."
Author: puchuupoet
Pairing: Gabriel/Castiel
Word Count: ~15,400
Rating: nc-17
Heads-up: Takes place between 5.16 and 5.19 (spoilers for events in both those episodes); language, adult situations, incest
Disclaimer: Not mine, never happened, completely fictional.
Notes: Written for the Gabriel Big Bang, with wonderful artwork by ninurta (which can be found here)
Part 1
When they reach the campsite, Castiel's feet and back are aching, his clothes damp with mud and sweat and who knows what else. He sits down on the log in one heavy movement, the wood creaking underneath him.
"Are we going anywhere else tonight?" He calls out. Gabriel had disappeared into the woods, heading in the general direction of the car.
"No plans for it!" The words seems to come out of nowhere, and a moment later Gabriel emerges, carrying a paper bag. "I'm going to start in on the fish, unless you want to take a stab at it?"
Castiel shakes his head, then focuses his attention on working at the knots in his laces, trying to get the boots off as quickly as possible. He can't seem to get a good grip, the knots catching on more than just themselves. With difficulty he pulls the boot off, holding it up to inspect it.
Covering the bootlaces are small burrs, desperately clinging to any available space. A few are still attached to the thin stems, tiny flowers shaking as Castiel plucks at each seed. The action is tedious, but after a few minutes Castiel feels himself start to relax. He focuses on the pile of seeds growing next to him, and soon the ache throughout his body starts to fade into the background. He finishes up the one boot, tugging it back on before tackling the other.
By the time Castiel's boots are free from the tacky burrs, Gabriel's putting the fish on the fire. Castiel's pleased to see that he's brought a pan along with him, rather than using sticks to spear the carcasses over the flames. Castiel is the first to admit that his views on camping are heavily influenced by the movies Sam and Dean watch. While he knows the situations are exaggerated for comedic effect, he also admits that there is a slice of honesty in everything out there.
"Got stuck with the 'nots there?" Gabriel gestures him closer to the fire, handing Castiel an empty plate.
"You mean the burrs?"
"Yeah. The plants are called forget-me-nots, and their little stickers are a pain in the ass to get off of you. Berries were worth it though," Gabriel winks at Castiel.
"Why that?"
Gabriel pokes at the fish with a spatula, carefully flipping the pieces over before glancing over at Castiel. "Legend has it, in Germany, I think, that when God was naming all the plants, this tiny little flower called out to Him, "Forget-me-not, Lord!" And Dad, being the way he is, was just 'That will be your name then.' He's always had a sense of humor, hasn't he?"
"Not very funny at the moment though. He could step in every now and then." The thought hits Castiel like a punch in the gut, and he tries to distract himself. Remembering the berry patch helps, and the way Gabriel's eyes dilated at Castiel's touch.
"You there, champ?" Gabriel's looking at him quizzically when Castiel meets his eyes. "Got some dinner for you, if you're hungry."
Castiel accepts the food before moving back to the log, making sure to leave Gabriel room. They eat in silence, the night slipping through the tree branches.
"It's chilly here," Castiel comments, and the remark catches him off guard. He was getting used to experiencing the highs and lows of the day, maybe even the ache of the sunburn, but his body was shaking every few minutes now.
"There's sweatshirts in the car, if you want to grab one." Gabriel doesn't move from his spot on the log when Castiel gets up.
"Do you want one?"
"I'm good, thanks."
The trip is short but somewhat terrifying in the dark, Castiel being cautious with each step. The clothing is shoved in the backseat, and within a minute he's heading back to the campsite.
When he steps back into the clearing, the tent is suddenly standing and Gabriel is standing there with a guilty look on his face.
"That was fast," Castiel comments, noting a pile of blankets next to the log by the fire.
"Hey, I did mention I still had some powers."
"Tent-building powers?"
"It's getting late and cold. And I still feel bad about getting you sunburned." Gabriel moves to sit against the log. "Come over here." Gabriel pats at the blankets next to him. "It's nice over here. And there's beer."
Castiel eyes him distrustfully. "I'd rather not."
Gabriel's eyes are sharp in the darkness. "Trust me, okay? I've got your back. Plus I'll even be the DD from here all the way to the tent over there. I want you to see this."
Castiel makes his way over to the blanket, sitting down next to Gabriel. He still leaves a gap between them, and he carefully leans back against the wood.
"Close your eyes and lean back," Gabriel instructs him, wriggling down against the log. Castiel follows suit, discovering that Gabriel had thrown another blanket over the log to cushion it.
Everything's amplified with his eyes closed, the forest sounding as if it's closing in on him, reverberating through all his senses.
Several minutes pass before he can feel Gabriel move, roll towards him and close the space between them. "Open them now," Gabriel whispers, his breath warm against Castiel's neck. He can smell the beer Gabriel's been drinking, how the words slide from his lips. Castiel blindly turns towards him, wanting to chase after the taste, but Gabriel pulls back with an amused huff of laughter.
"Come on now, the night's young. Save it for later." There's a teasing purr to Gabriel's voice, and Castiel flushes, glad of the darkness that surrounds them. Gabriel nudges him, "Come on, open up."
Castiel's careful when he does so, unsure of what to expect. But all he can see are the thick tree trunks surrounding their campsite, reaching up to brush against the night sky. The branches fade away, leaving only streaks of stars for Castiel to focus on.
He's seen them before, close up and fiery hot; an unbelievable force he's always been in awe of. This new distance makes him ache, makes him realize what Gabriel's taken away from him.
"They're gorgeous, aren't they?" Gabriel's whisper cuts through the hum of the forest. "Instead of looking down on worlds, you're looking up at universe."
"Universes." Castiel absently corrects him, unable to look away from the view above.
"You're a spoilsport, you know? Let me have my small pleasures."
"I thought this whole weekend was for your pleasure."
"You still don't really get it, do you?" Castiel can hear the earnestness in Gabriel's tone, and he rolls over onto his side to face him.
"What are you expecting me to get?"
Gabriel rolls over, mimicking Castiel's movement. "Humanity is worth saving, I know, and I'm right there with you for it. But that doesn't mean they're gonna be there for you in return. I'm not doubting their dedication," he clarifies, seeing the looking on Castiel's face. "But Cas, just think it through, okay? And you're not alone, for what it's worth," Gabriel adds, rolling back to face the sky.
Castiel doesn't move, his eyes locked on Gabriel's face. "What do you mean?" He can feel the beer again, rolling through his vessel. It's a different feeling than the liquor; a warmer, more comfortable one, and he finds himself both comforted and encouraged by it.
Gabriel sighs before looking over at him. "I know things are horrible right now, everywhere you turn. And that the Winchesters are promising resolutions of some sort. But just, consider that maybe they're not the only ones who can offer a way out or some sort of comfort, okay? That's all." Gabriel reaches down to grab at his beer, taking a long pull from the bottle.
"Fight for him Castiel, if that's what keeps you going. But don't make him your world, your cause, 'cause you don't know if he'll be around for you the same way. He has Sam, has more girlfriends than fingers and toes, and I mean fuck, he has that car, Cas. What do you have?"
Castiel stares at him, Gabriel's words echoing in his head. He waits until Gabriel's set the beer back down, is focusing his gaze back on the stars above them.
"What are you asking?" Castiel's voice is soft, not wanting to startle either of them.
"Don't worry about it."
But Castiel's insistent, and he reaches before really thinking, grabbing at Gabriel's free hand. As he tangles their fingers together he realizes both of their hands are clammy. He doesn't stop to think about it, but he can feel the way Gabriel hesitates.
"What is it?"
"What are you doing?" Gabriel's voice is barely a whisper.
"I have you..."
Gabriel doesn't move, and Castiel is pretty sure that he's holding his breath right now. He tugs softly on Gabriel's hand, moving himself closer to the other angel. He leans in close, listening to the sharp intake of breath as he whispers in Gabriel's ear.
"What did you really bring me out here to tell me?"
Castiel waits for Gabriel to respond, finally pulling back to look at him. The alcohol's giving him confidence he didn't realize he had, and he can see now why Dean's so fond of it. Castiel lets go of Gabriel's hand, reaching up to cup at his jaw. His touch is still tentative, but he's encouraged when he feels Gabriel lean into it.
Castiel freezes like that, caught up in Gabriel's gaze. His mouth is dry, the beer quickly forgotten, and he licks at his lips. Gabriel's eyes track the movement, his mouth parting in a soft gasp.
"What're you doing?" Gabriel's voice is barely audible, and Castiel leans in closer to hear him better. Castiel shakes his head softly, the uncertainty making his head buzz.
Gabriel decides for him, leaning over to close the gap between them. He presses his mouth to Castiel's, soft and warm and Castiel whines low in his throat at the touch. He admits to himself that he had hoped for this, wanted this but never actually expected for it to happen.
Gabriel pulls back at the noise, his brow furrowed. "Don't tell me I misread it all?" He asks, biting at his lower lip.
Castiel can't remember the last time he had see Gabriel like this, vulnerable and uncertain, and the sight before him twists at him in awkward and wonderful ways.
"No," Castiel responds, smiling in an attempt at reassurance.
"Oh, thank god." Gabriel grins, throwing a leg over Castiel's and pulling himself closer.
"Gabriel..." Castiel warns, but he just shakes his head at Castiel's tone of voice.
"Little things, okay? And really, I'm sure he doesn't mind about it. Should even be used to it by now."
"Can we not discuss this now?" Castiel asks, not wanting to merge these images of his Father and Gabriel before him.
Gabriel responds by sliding an arm around Castiel's shoulder, fingers teasing against the nape of his neck. He kisses Castiel again, his fingers kneading and encouraging. Castiel arches against the touch, pulling away from the kiss.
A low whine escapes from Gabriel and he pulls Castiel back in. "Not letting you go so easily this time," he purrs, and Castiel grips at him even tighter.
They keep kissing, until Castiel is breathless and whimpering deep in the back of his throat, grabbing at Gabriel's t-shirt.
"Hold on a second," Gabriel murmurs, lifting his leg from over Castiel's, shifting around so that he's able to slide it in-between Castiel's thighs. "Better?"
Castiel doesn't realize what Gabriel's talking about until Castiel rocks forward, against, reaching in to nip at Gabriel's neck.
Castiel's been squirming against the seam of his cargo pants ever since Gabriel kissed him, aiming for some sort of relief. But this, this is beyond anything he had ever hoped for.
Gabriel moves his leg up a little bit more, and Castiel pushes his hips forward, harder than expected. He whimpers when the sparks shoot through him, gasping out nonsense against Gabriel's neck. Castiel can hear him chuckle, feel it reverberate down his body and echo through his own nerves.
"Don't tell me you've never gotten yourself off before."
Castiel shakes his head and tries to slow his body down, reign it back in under control. But Gabriel's fingers are tracing over his back, dipping below Castiel's belt and he's finding it hard to concentrate on speaking.
"I have, just... not like this." Castiel trails off when Gabriel's hands move to cover his ass, grasp at him and pull him up against him. Castiel groans at the touch. "Never with someone else."
There's still berry juice caught in the corners of Gabriel's mouth, and Castiel pauses the conversation to seek it out, his tongue chasing the purple stains.
Gabriel groans at the touch, his grip tightening on Castiel's waist. "Wanna move this to the tent?" his voice is raspy against Castiel's face. "There's an inflatable mattress in there and everything, and we can get you out of those dirty clothes."
"With no ulterior motives in mind?" Castiel leans back to meet Gabriel's eyes.
Gabriel barks out a laugh. "You know I can't promise that."
=======
In the past Castiel's never come across any personal issues with nudity, and while that hasn't changed, he is acutely aware of a heated flush rising through his body when he strips down in front of Gabriel. "Nothing I haven't seen before," his brother teases, but there's a softness in Gabriel's voice that makes Castiel want to pull him close.
It's not until he's about to climb under the blankets that Castiel feels the need to pee. When he moves to go back outside in his current state, Gabriel stops him.
"Why not?" Castiel asks Gabriel. "There's no one around anyways."
"As much as I'm enjoying your streak of attractive immodesty, not all humans would feel the same way." Gabriel laughs at the exasperated look on Castiel's face. "Besides, gotta protect the goods. The forest can be a dangerous place for a guy's junk."
Castiel just stares at him. "All my clothes are dirty. Or still wet," he tells Gabriel pointedly.
"Here." Gabriel rummages around in a bag he has stashed to the side of the mattress. He tosses a pair of shorts at Castiel. "And to finish it up, making sure you don't catch a cold or any one of those annoying human symptoms. They're a pain in the ass to get rid of." He grabs the bottom of his t-shirt and pulls it up and over his head. "In case it's cold out," he explains to Castiel's bemused look.
Castiel takes the offered clothing, awkwardly tugging them on in the confines of the tent. He can feel Gabriel's gaze on him, and while he doesn't mind it, he's slightly self-conscious in a way he wasn't aware of before. He leans back to fasten the fly of the shorts, and from the corner of his eye he can see Gabriel lick his lips.
The trip into the woods is a quick one, Castiel motivated along by the cold and various noises the night was making. He creeps back into the tent, quietly zipping it closed before crawling back under the blankets. Gabriel seems almost asleep, his breathing deep and regular, but when Castiel lies down his arm reaches out to pull Castiel close.
===
In the middle of the night, Castiel awakes suddenly, the cries of an owl above startling him out of sleep. He rolls over, kicking out at the confines of the sleeping bag. The air mattress shifts underneath him, still suspiciously plump, and Castiel feels that Gabriel may have lied about how limited all his powers were this weekend.
The other side of the bed is empty when Castiel reaches out, the flannel lining still warm to the touch. Raising his head, he can see that the tent's empty, the doorway unzipped a couple of inches at the bottom.
Castiel settles back down, focusing on the noises outside the tent. It's darker than he was expecting, and he wonders how long they've slept for. There's rustling in the bushes nearby, the soft noises from an owl up above, and Castiel finds himself thankful for this temporary state of humanity shutting out the rest of the night noises.
He pulls the sleeping bags tighter around him, trying to keep the heat in for when Gabriel comes back. The fabric smells like the other angel, like them and Castiel finds himself quickly falling back to sleep.
Castiel jerks awake when the air is split by a piercing shriek, the noise making him sit up. He pulls the fabric around him tighter, an instinctive reaction he didn't know he had. He kicks the sleeping bag off, making his way towards the door. His fingers fumble on the cold zipper, and he cautiously looks outside, hyperaware of his current state.
The moon lays a stark white stripe across the clearing, but Castiel doesn't see anything different from when he and Gabriel had gone to bed earlier in the evening.
There's another scream off in the distance, not as shrill as before but it leaves Castiel trembling. He's pretty sure he knows where it's coming from, and through the shadows he can see the trailhead heading off in the direction of the noise.
He stands and makes his way towards it, pausing to look back at the tent. A knot rises in his throat, the sensation new and disconcerting, and he chokes it back as he makes his way down the trail. Another yell and Castiel knows for sure it's Gabriel, the sound making his stomach churn. He picks up his pace and begins to run, low hanging branches smacking him in the face. He does his best to duck and avoid them, but getting to Gabriel in time is the only thing he can focus on right now.
Castiel pushes himself forward, shrubs whipping against his legs and he's only vaguely aware that he's still in the shorts and t-shirt Gabriel had given him earlier. He loses track of time, winding through the forest; around stumps and rocks and doing his best to clear fallen trees.
The branches clear up suddenly, forcing Castiel into another clearing, smaller than the one he and Gabriel are camping in. The sudden lack of resistance causes him to stumble, propelling him to his knees.
He stays that way, palms pressed into the dirt and fallen leaves, trying to catch his breath until a harsh chuckle catches his attention. As he looks up his gaze passes over a shadowed heap on the ground.
"Well, look what the cat dragged in. Or rather, the archangel to the middle of the fucking boonies. I find that quite fascinating, you realize."
"How'd you find us?" Castiel's voice is hoarse, unaccustomed to feeling the physical exertions of his vessel.
"Family's never far from my thoughts, brothers." Lucifer emphasizes the last word with a kick to the heap at his feet, rolling it over in one smooth motion, sprawling Gabriel out between the two of them. Gabriel's face is laced with blood, and Castiel can't tell what's a stain and what's a cut. Gabriel's motionless, save for when Lucifer distastefully nudges at him again with one toe, and Castiel prays that he's just unconscious; unaware of what has happened to him.
"Now you," Lucifer's eyes flicker dismissively over Castiel, "I really couldn't care less about. Except my brother here seems to have taken an interest in you, as well as those Winchesters. But Gabriel has enough of an interest to hide you from me, to temper your powers and bind you close. Happen to know why that is?"
Castiel shakes his head automatically, too busy trying to process all that Lucifer's just said.
"Love's an interesting phenomenon. Not that often when it comes to humans," Castiel can hear the disdain in Lucifer's tone, "but when it comes to angels and the like. We're supposed to be above that, you know. Or just find solace in a higher love. But sometimes things slip through cracks, like what my brother here is feeling towards you. He doesn't just want to fuck you, or cuddle close," Lucifer sneers. "He thinks you're worth protecting, from humans and angels and me, of all things. Me, your actual brother, he feels is a threat."
"You are." Castiel growls out, finally focusing on Lucifer. Gabriel is still at his feet, and all Castiel can hope for is that he's playing possum.
"Daddy hasn't stepped up recently, has he?" Lucifer easily switches topics, punctuating the change with a quick kick to Gabriel's thigh. "Left you alone to man the ship as it sinks. Down, down, torn between saving souls and trying to find where the captain is hiding."
"I will find my Father, and He will take great pleasure in punishing you," Castiel stays his ground, doing his best to avoid the temptation to move in closer. Despite his appearance, Lucifer is quick, too agile for Castiel, especially with Gabriel flung between them. He is everything to Castiel, nothing to Lucifer, and the Devil will be quick to use him as leverage.
"Talking like a pesky little human already now, are we? Not that surprised, not with the way you leech off them, hoping to pick up some thread of emotion, something to cling to, to call your own. The Winchesters are tiring of you, Castiel, and with good reason. You hold them back, give them unattainable goals, and get in their way. It's no surprise Dean sees you as a hobbling resource and nothing more."
Castiel waits, eyes flickering between Lucifer's steely gaze and Gabriel, motionless in the dirt. A week ago, Lucifer's taunts would have hit home, causing even more doubt in Castiel's mind. But now... Now Castiel knows better. Dean is still vital, still important to Castiel, as is Sam, but it's different now.
His jeans are softer now, after several days of hard work and being broken in, and one pocket is heavier, the object weighty against Castiel's thigh. Castiel aches for his powers, for the ability to reach out and crush Lucifer's head, but even if he did have them, they still wouldn't be enough.
There's a familiar flickering though, a slight tremble through his body that gives him hope. In the moonlight Castiel can see how Lucifer's face burns, patches of skin flaking off. His vessel is taut, about to burst from the power it contains, and while it's dangerous, Castiel is tempted by it.
Another flicker reminds Castiel to concentrate, thinking hard about the object and his hand. Gabriel slips into his field of thought, and before he knows it, the prone figure at Lucifer's feet coughs and shudders. It's enough to distract him, for Castiel to grasp onto the thread in his mind and pull, to be rewarded with the heavy weight landing in the palm of his hand. His fingers tighten around it automatically, hiding it from view. Keeping his breath even, Castiel readies the knife, unfolding it and locking it into place.
Brother. Gabriel's voice springs into Castiel's head. Promised you I'd only use this for good. Get ready.
Castiel has enough time to tighten his grip on the knife when Gabriel lashes out, kicking at Lucifer's kneecaps. He stumbles forward and Castiel rushes towards him. It's all a mad rush in his head, but somehow he remembers to push forward with the knife, the blade tearing into Lucifer's belly.
Castiel keeps pushing, pulling back only to strike harder. The hand holding the knife is hot; in hindsight he'll realize it's the blood streaking out and covering him. All he can see is Gabriel's face in his mind, blood spider webbing over his face, eyes rolled back in his head. The threat of death, even if Lucifer isn't wielding a sword.
"I. Am. Not. Your. Brother." Castiel punctuates each word with another sharp stab to Lucifer's gut. He's close to not caring if Lucifer smites him now, with Gabriel seemingly lifeless next to him. As long as he leaves his existence like this, bloody and vengeful and making a mark.
Cas... The voice is weak, but Castiel can hear Gabriel in his head. He pushes Lucifer off of him; throughout the attack, the archangel hadn't fought back at all. The vessel falls to the dirt, lifeless and empty.
"Dammit." As much as Castiel's heard Dean throw the word around, it still tastes foreign on his tongue. He can feel a new energy thrum through him, and he tests it with a snap of his fingers. Gabriel is suddenly in his arms, his body effortlessly slung against Castiel's arms, cradled close. It feels awkward though, and Castiel adjusts it until he's holding the full weight of his fallen brother.
He can't sense Lucifer around anymore, no thrumming of power threatening to take them both out again. Turning around, Castiel can vaguely see the outline of the path he had burst out of earlier, and he starts the long trek back to camp, Gabriel cradled close.
Camping without Gabriel making fun of him is unsettling, Castiel decides. He had awkwardly set his brother down in the tent, as much on the sleeping bag as possible. There had been extra blankets in the trunk of the car, and now two of them were draped over Gabriel as well. A flashlight fashioned into the shape of a lantern sits in the corner, filling the tent with light.
Castiel sits near the fire, looking at the first aid kit he had taken from the glove box. There were band-aids of all types, straight, padded, butterfly, circular, but nothing that seemed fitting for what had happened to Gabriel. Even Castiel wasn't completely sure of the extent of the injuries, but he wanted to give Gabriel a moment to himself before being attacked with medical supplies.
Castiel had tried healing the cuts and bruises himself, and when that didn't work, he tried snapping the blood away. But it stayed put, drying and cracking on Gabriel's face, and that was when Castiel had headed for the Neosporin and band aids. At least Gabriel had brought along the kit with the catgut and needles, and Castiel hoped that his brother hadn't expected for this to be the outcome of their weekend together.
A soft groan from the tent grabs Castiel's attention, and he quickly moves towards the sound, the first aid kit grasped firmly in his hand.
"Gabriel?"
"In the flesh. Or whatever's left of it." His voice is a weak rasp.
"Enough to get by," Castiel tells him, kneeling down next to the sleeping bag. One of Gabriel's eyes is swollen shut, the other starting to purple.
"Bastard didn't get me then?"
"No..." Not yet is what Castiel wants to tell him. "What happened before I got there?"
"I don't even remember you showing up. Just a blur when you tackled him. But he did things, Cas. Got to me." Gabriel's voice trails off almost shamefully, then picks up. "This wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to be safe. What the hell was I thinking?"
"You were thinking of me, and us, and saving the world," Castiel reminds him, reaching to the side of the tent to grab the bottle of pain killers. "You were being selfless."
"Flattery will get you everywhere. Especially when paired with pain pills. He lured me there, Cas. Said he had something to talk about, then attacked."
"With what?"
"Hell if I know. It was silver and hot and he did a number on me. Nothing I've seen before, but I've avoided Hell for awhile now."
"Your shirt's soaked."
"You wanna see why?" Gabriel tilts his head to the side, offering the side of his neck to Castiel.
Castiel carefully peels back strips of fabric, slowly exposing several deep cuts criss-crossing Gabriel's shoulder and collarbone. Blood pools there, but Castiel can see the thin skin of drying blood stretched across the cuts throb with Gabriel's heartbeat. It's still pulsing up, albeit slowly, and there's a sick twist in Castiel's stomach.
"We have to take care of this, now."
"You can, but fuck if I can hold a beer right now, let alone a needle."
Castiel almost wants to shake Gabriel, for his need to be glib in every serious situation he finds himself in. But he grips at his own legs instead, and the sharp quick burst of pain distracts him.
"Are you saying you don't have faith in my sewing skills?" Castiel waits until Gabriel meets his eyes, until he sees Gabriel softly shift his head from side to side. "Do you need anything before I start?"
Gabriel huffs out a weak chuckle, and the sound is music to Castiel's ears. "Let's see how this goes first. Save the heavy duty pain killers for when it gets really bad."
Castiel wants to ask him, If this isn't bad, then what is? but he settles for "deal."
"Do you actually know how to stitch up a wound?" Gabe starts to push himself up into a sitting position. "It's not like how it is on TV."
Castiel carefully presses down on Gabriel's shoulder, pushing him back down onto the sleeping bag. "You're assuming I watch the same things you do." He's silent then, lips pursed as he threads the needle. "Besides, I've seen Sam and Dean do this before."
Castiel's gaze flickers up to meet Gabriel's, and a moment passes before Gabriel nods. "I know."
Castiel turns his focus back to the task on hand. The bleeding's lessened, and he carefully wipes around the wound. It's a clean cut, something Castiel should be thankful for, but all he can see is how deep it seems to go into Gabriel.
"Everything okay?" Gabriel's voice cuts through his thoughts. Castiel moves the lantern closer in, illuminating the almost black blood covering Gabriel.
"Yes." Castiel does his best to clear his head, bringing up memories of being around the Winchesters when it all hit the fan. A memory suddenly hits him and he looks up at Gabriel. "Do you need anything? Something to bite on or liquor or..."
"Hey, I'm fine." Gabe's tone is soothing. "As well as I can be, really. But still. Take a deep breath and dive in. You can do it."
Castiel nods at him before leaning back down over Gabriel's side. He can see how Lucifer's weapon pierced his brother, the different layers of skin and muscles and the depth, and he tries not to panic. Castiel's not sure how to secure the thread; usually Sam does something with his teeth to knot it, but Castiel never watched closely enough to remember. He manages a lopsided knot, doubling it over several times until he's satisfied it's bigger than the eye of the needle.
The first stab into Gabriel is hard to make himself do, and even Gabe can't stop himself from grunting at the experience. "Bastard," he gasps out, reaching out to clutch at Castiel's leg. "Be gentle."
"Who's the one who said no powers?" Castiel returns, not looking at him. He's trying to stay focused, now that he has a slight rhythm going. Up and down, over and under, wipe the weeping blood away. He can do this, and he works on tuning out Gabriel's rambling.
"We still have beer right? In the cooler?" It's random, he knows, but Gabriel has to shut up to think about it. Castiel takes that moment to tighten the very last stitch, checking the rest of it before tying off the end.
"Fuck yes, there better be." Gabriel finally says, watching Castiel cut the thread with the small pair of scissors from the first aid kit. "I'm gonna be pissed if you drank it all."
Castiel smiles. "I'm pretty sure that desire's gone." He swipes the cloth over Gabriel's side one last time. "How does that feel?"
"Like being stabbed in the back by family." Gabriel pushes himself up to a sitting position, grimacing at the movement. "Other than that, awesome."
"Really?"
Gabriel just looks at him. "Not even close, princess. But as far as random patching up in the middle of the forest goes, you did good."
There's a burst of pride in Castiel that he tries to hide. Praise from his family is a rare enough event, and this time it's for his own skills, rather than some superpower granted to him by genetics. The lantern flickers, and with the need for such bright light over, Castiel leans over and turns it off.
It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the low light, but the moon is still strong outside. Soon Castiel can see Gabriel lying in front of him, how his brother is kneading at the sleeping bag in an attempt to not scratch at the stitches.
The tent rustles, the breeze picking up in the midnight hours. Castiel waits for it to settle back down, but the wind keeps building momentum. Gabriel catches Castiel's eyes, his own wide and worried.
Castiel carefully shifts towards the door of the tent, and he feels Gabriel's grip quick and tight around his wrist. When he looks back, Gabriel's shaking his head at him. He pulls harder on Castiel's arm, and Castiel resigns himself with laying down next to Gabriel, careful to avoid his wounded side.
"We can't take him like this." His brother's words are warm against the curve his ear, and with a start Castiel feels Gabriel's hand rest on his hip. "Gotta hide and get stronger."
"You think he doesn't know we're here?" Castiel's words are drowned out by the shriek of the wind cutting through the trees.
"Oh, he knows." Gabriel's fingers move up, underneath Castiel's shirt to rest on his side. "But we're wounded, half-conscious. He has some standards, especially when it comes to disposing of family." Gabriel tilts his head towards the door of the tent. "Look."
In hindsight, Castiel's grateful he had zipped shut the door earlier. The night before Gabriel had protested that closing it cut them off from the stars and sounds of the night. Castiel had argued that it cut them off from the insects and creatures who would come into the tent and do unknowable horrors to them. They were all God's children, but Castiel doesn't remember anything about his close relation to the centipede or scorpion.
The moon's beams hit the figure standing in the clearing at an angle, casting its shadow against the fabric of the door. The form barely moves, and Castiel's not sure if it's just the wind shifting and bumping it along at this point. They stay that way, watching the bend and sway of the silhoutte amid the wailing noise of the wind above.
Castiel doesn't know how much time has passed when Lucifer raises an arm, and the following gesture cements in Castiel's mind that it's his brother out there, doing who knows what. Lucifer waves at the tent, a little wriggle in the wrist that leaves Gabriel tensing, his hand gripping hard on Castiel's side.
"Bastard's just mocking us now."
"When hasn't he?" Castiel murmurs back, unable to tear his eyes away from the tent wall. With a sharp crack that rattles the ground, Lucifer drops his arm back down to his side, disappearing into the shadows.
"Do you think he's left us?"
"I know just as much as you do, Cas. Less than, since you're able to go and stick your head out the door before me." There's a teasing tone in Gabriel's voice, but a worried look crosses his face. "Sounds like he's cleared out though."
Castiel cautiously sticks his head out of the tent. Their campsite isn't too trashed, but the current state leaves an uneasy feeling in the pit of Castiel's stomach. "What do we do now?" he finally asks. The uncertainty is unnerving. And while he doesn't regret any of his decisions so far, he finds that he can't hide from the loss of orders, that comfortable blind submission that at least allowed him peace of mind. Even if it did turn out to be false.
"We fight." Gabriel struggles to get to his feet. Castiel raises an eyebrow before moving back into the tent. He lines up next to him, helping Gabriel up and slowly out of the tent. Castiel watches the look on Gabriel's face as he takes in the destruction.
There is a cleanliness in the chaos, which is what's most disturbing to Castiel. If it had looked as if a bear had rummaged through their belongings, that would be one thing. But Lucifer's destruction was deceptively simple. The few things he had left of theirs were slit open or likewise destroyed. Not for the joy of destruction, but for the joy that came from knowing the items were now useless. Castiel can't see the car from the tent, but he assumes that something has happened to that as well. Slashed tires or cut hoses and brake lines.
Lucifer has left them with an improvement to their campfire. It's ringed with several layers of stacked flat river rocks, thick boughs stacked high within the circle. The flames are large, unnaturally so, and Castiel's pretty sure he can see tinges of Hellfire encouraging them even higher. It is the very threat of a forest fire, neatly leashed before him, and the restraint Lucifer is showing them is even more of a threat than anything Castiel could imagine.
"Gabe?" His voice is tentative, trying out the nickname. He's rewarded with a blinding grin, blood staining the gums. "You're suggesting fighting, now? We don't know where he's gone and all this..."
"No, no. No fighting now." Gabriel waves his hand dismissively. "We heal and drink and get our asses back to reality." He checks his watch. "But we still have several hours left before our powers come back one hundred percent. There's a couple places around here that can hide us. Really hide us," he adds when Castiel starts to interrupt. "From that jackhole and everyone else kissing his ass."
"And then we fight?"
"Then we fight."
----
The thin streaks of early morning start to filter through the branches, illuminating the campsite, but it's not until the birds close by start chirping that Castiel is reminded to take a break. He's been going through supplies ever since the Lucifer disappeared, even if deep down he's the first to admit it's a pointless exercise. As soon as their powers come back, they'll dispose of whatever was ruined and create what's needed, with no reason to hold on to anything here. But it's something to do; busywork, as Dean would call it, and for the time being Castiel is thankful for it.
"What does a brake line look like?" Gabriel yells from across the clearing, and Castiel's already regretting having shared that concern with him. He had told his brother not to move, to stay put in the car while Castiel gathered the valuables. Gabriel has interpreted that to mean within the radius of the car, and is now bent over the side, head ducked under the open hood.
"If you don't know, you shouldn't be touching it," Castiel yells back, and the power in his voice is surprising and refreshingly needed. He can understand why so many humans enjoy it, even if for all the misunderstood reasons in the wrong situations.
"I'll show you unknowledgeable touching!" Gabriel retorts, and Castiel is again reminded to take the pain killers away from him , even if his body seems to agree with the undertones of Gabriel's threat.
He's staring at the fire when Gabriel makes his way back to him, and Castiel is ready to tie him down somewhere, if only to keep the blood from pumping too hard and weeping through the stitches. The look on Gabriel's face silences him, and he watches as Gabriel nods his head towards the flames.
Castiel doesn't know what Gabriel's looking for, when suddenly he hears a sharp snap beside his head. He starts to turn towards the sound, but the sudden, immediate disappearance of the flames distracts him.
"Where did..." he starts, and Gabriel snorts at him.
"Two and a half days of being powerless, and you suddenly forget all that you're capable of." Gabriel slings an arm around Castiel's shoulder. "Welcome home, bro. Time to get back to business."
With newfound enthusiasm Castiel tackles the remaining belongings. He gets rid of everything damaged with a snap, turning to face the smaller pile with a sense of accomplishment. Gabriel is back at the vehicle, going over it once more as if he's assured that Lucifer has done something to it. Or if he doesn't fully believe that his powers are back one hundred percent.
Everything worth bringing back with them is packed away in three duffel bags. Castiel slings one over each shoulder before cradling the third in his arms. He's aware of the desire to slouch down under the weight, but he fights it. The path to the car seems wider than when he initially walked it three days ago, the ferns fluttering in the wind, pulling back from him.
"Ready to go?" Castiel sets the bags down on the edge of the open trunk. Gabriel had already taken care of the tent, snapping his fingers in such a way that the sleeping bag rolled itself up, the blankets flew up in the air to fold themselves, and the tent and poles clattered around before sliding gently into their bag.
"Yeah..." Gabriel slams the hood shut, but his grip lingers on its edge. "Was this all worth it? To you?"
Castiel responds with an echoing slam of the trunk, making his way around the vehicle to stand next to Gabriel. "Yes," he tells him simply, and Gabriel turns to face him.
"What if we've made it worse?" he whispers. "What if he takes it out on the world?"
"Then we stop him." Castiel reassures him. He reaches out automatically to grasp at Gabriel's shoulder, too late realizing it's the one he had just stitched up hours earlier. But Gabriel doesn't flinch, just holds the gaze between them.
"Did you repair yourself, then?"
"Sort of." Gabriel's tone is shy, and he makes no movement or offer to explain his words.
Castiel grasps the edge of the flannel button-up Gabriel's wearing, gently tugging it down and off his shoulder. He's wearing a black tank top underneath, a large square bandage pressed over the wound.
"It was still bleeding a little," Gabriel offers when Castiel glances at him. He reaches over to grab at the corner of the band aid, slowly pulling it off with a slight grimace.
"You could have removed that differently," Castiel remarks.
"Maybe, but that would've defeated the purpose of this whole weekend. And besides, you like to see me squirm."
Castiel huffs in annoyance, but he doesn't disagree. Rather, he's taken aback at the state of Gabriel's shoulder now. The only sign that there was anything there are a set of awkwardly stitched scars, light and raised against Gabriel's pale skin. If Castiel didn't know to look for them, he wouldn't have even noticed them there. Confused, he looks at Gabriel.
His brother hesitates before meeting Castiel's eyes again, and he reaches out, curling his fingers around Castiel's neck. Gabriel's palm is damp against his skin, and Castiel leans into the touch.
"You were there for me, have been this whole weekend." When Castiel opens his mouth in protest, Gabriel shakes his head. "More than anyone else has ever been. And I can't let myself forget that."
Gabriel's fingers tighten slightly in the small curls at the nape of Castiel's neck, and that's the only warning he gets before he's being pulled forward. Castiel can feel himself starting to trip over his feet, over roots, who knows what but Gabriel's arm is there, wrapping around his waist, grip firm on Castiel's side.
It's that same sweetly cloying scent as Friday, far too long ago for Castiel to even want to remember. Drowning in those feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, the knowledge that one more bottle and he could have convinced himself to walk anywhere. Another bar, a brothel, into the long line of headlights flashing by on the highway. Alcohol is like faith, he had realized, enough of it and you think that you can do anything, even the things that you may not want to. Obligations and debts that cling tight, even if they're not yours to carry or be bound to. But there can be satisfaction in those well. Moderation, he had finally concluded. Moderation is key.
Love is like that too, he thinks when Gabriel's mouth hits his, hard enough to clink grins together and for Castiel to taste blood. It just seems to encourage Gabriel on, a desperate fierceness that makes Castiel ache and respond with an equal fervor. He tightens his grip on Gabriel's shoulder, his thumb brushing over the scars, and they seem much larger under his touch. He can feel Gabriel shudder against him, gasping against his neck as Castiel strokes over the scars again.
"You're all I have left," Gabriel finally murmurs, his voice muffled by Castiel's shoulder. "We have to win this, no more dragging his bullshit games out any longer."
"I promise." Castiel turns to nuzzle against Gabriel's hair.
"And you better stop that thing you're doing with your thumb, or else we're unpacking the sleeping bag and not leaving until this afternoon."
There's no trail or road this far up in the forest, as far as Castiel can see. But Gabriel's the one driving, and he seems to see something to follow, laid out ahead of them through the trees. The car is quiet, save for Gabriel's muttered cursing when an unseen tree stump appears out of a clump of wild flowers. Castiel amuses himself by staring out the window and doing his best to not think of the apocalypse. As long as they're in the forest, he's claiming vacation hours.
The car slowly edges near a copse of trees, and both angels lean forward to get a better look, Gabriel falling silent at the sight. Through a gap in the trees they can see a clearing, the surrounding trunks slashed and burned. The raw pale meat of the trees is edged with black crisped bark, the contrast sharp against the muted tones of the surrounding vegetation.
Gabriel suddenly presses down hard on the gas, the rear tires spinning for traction, until the car is propelled forward and away from the sight. Castiel is at a loss for words, and after a glance to his left, is sure none would suffice for the moment anyways. He leans back in his seat and tries to recall the taste of fresh sun-warmed blackberries.
---
They're in the middle of nowhere, the stretch of asphalt spread before them the only sign that someone else has been here before. All of the windows of the truck are down, a hot breeze whipping through the vehicle and scattering papers around. A single snap has it all back in place, file folders stuffed and organized, and there's a sleepy chuckle from the passenger seat.
"Didn't miss it, did you?"
Gabriel takes a hand of the steering wheel to reach over and ruffle Castiel's hair. "What, the powers or the vehicle choice? Cause the Outback's better in a forest by a long shot." At Castiel's annoyed glare, Gabriel chuckles. "No, but you can't say it didn't help out, can you?"
Castiel hums his agreement, leaning up into Gabriel's touch. The sweep of fingers turns into a rougher scratching, and Castiel opens one eye at Gabriel.
"What time are they expecting us?"
"You're asking me that question? You've seen what I can do with time, right? What'd you have in mind?" Gabriel starts to pull back but Castiel grabs his wrist, kissing the pulse point. "Oh. Oh. Yeah, we've got time."