I specialize in meaningless entries

[pucette]

Verizon: Hello, may I please speak to *insert husband's name here*?
Me: I'm sorry, he is not available right now. Can I help you?
Verizon: Ma'am, are you authorized to make decisions on this account?
Me: Well, I'm his wife...
Verizon: Ok, are you authorized to make decisions on this account?
Me: By my husband, or by Verizon?
Verizon (chuckles): By Verizon, Ma'am.
Me: Well then shouldn't you be the one to tell me if I'm authorized or not?
Verizon: That's why I'm asking, Ma'am. Are you authorized to make decisions on this account?
Me (after a pause): Well I don't know!
Verizon: Ok is there a good time we can call back?
Me: %@#&*#&*@%&*@#&%*@#&%! !!!!!

Plan for next time
Me: Yes sistah, I HAVE THE AUTHORI-TY!