(no subject)
I can't fall asleep knowing Adam is out wondering about with his friend.
By the way, Happy Birthday to Sean. （´･ω･｀）
I've been thinking latley about the general so and so, whether or not I'm going to get a refill on my medication and whether or not my depression is going to start kicking back in again. I know I've been going through 'manic' states with Adam on the phone which he entirely thought were the medications doings.
I don't know on the other hand. I'm not going to officially call myself psychotic, I don't even think of wanting to consider myself one anyway.
I feel I have most of the symptoms. So sais my doctor, she sais she was suggesting me a psychiatrist but I refused, I told her that my last encounter with a psychiatrist was not too long ago and not very inviting. He kept calling and questioning my business and what I was going to have to eat and all the whatnot.
Not only was this guy trying to manipulate my apathetic mind of the thought of being a psychological guinea pig, but he was also trying to act like my age. Did I mention how strange and uncomfortable that was?
I seriously feel I need someone to therapute my emotional/mental body. Well ofcourse, that's why Adams here. Oh and he's done so much but a poor guy can only do so much. I can't possibly ponder whether or not having my parents acknowledge the realm of my scarred errors, not only is it unquestionable. The era these people were brought up in there was no enquire of whether the human mentality is capable of afflicting psychotic and bi-polar behaviour.
I only get the simple phrase "Take some Aspirin" or "Excersize"
Funny how my parents are partically correct. Do you remember commercials and magazines where they suggest excersizing and sleeping a certain healthy hour will enhance your motivation to withstand simple burdens that were not possible in your past once depressed state?
Funny how your mind reacts to the physical unimpaired apparence of your being.
No aspect of life is more desired, more elusive and more perplexing than happiness. People wish to strive for what they believe will make them happy - good health, attractice looks, success, fame, financial independence... ect.
What is happiness exactly? How does one define it? The great minds of the past have attempted to define this all-important human experience for god knows how long.
I have even agreed with some philosophers conclusions that "Man is never happy, but spends his whole life striving after something he thinks will make him so"
Which can be quoted by none other than Auther Schopenhauer
He isn't much of a philosopher in my opinion, he was a large influence to Frued. He has much farfetched/taboo philosophical assumptions although his work in the theory of happiness striked me very much.
Freuds view of happiness emerges as fundamental to his materalists view of the world (d'uh, c'mon he was athiest)
I remember observing Freuds view on happiness which he stated in one of his books I cannot recall "Show by their behaviour to be the purpose and intention of their lives... the answer to this can hardly be in doubt. They strive after happiness; they want to become happy"
He also explained the opposite side of happiness.
Whether or not I agree with him most of this world would probably admit that, during the existence of our lives are still known to us happiness plays an important role in determining the quality of our lives. We would probably also agree, as the recent research on depression indicates that 'most people do not appaer to be happy for at least part of their lives"
Ofcourse what got me aggitated when studying about Freud was that he compares everything with the sexual perspective.. Freud mentions that because we experience sexual pleasure only as "an episodic phenomenon" ( quoted from The Complete Psycological Works, a book I purchased of Freuds theoretical assumptions) - that is, only after the sexual desire has reached a certain intensity we can experience happiness only for a brief period.
Frued also quotes "We are so made that we can derive intense enjoyment only frim a contrast and very little from a state of things. Thus our possibilities of happiness are already restriced by our consitution."
So I say to this, so basically our culture/mothers words impose restrictions and prohibitions on the expression of our instinctual sexual needs that further limit pleasure? So our capacity for happiness is limited.
I would say that that is a very good assumption because lets say we break these 'rules' our mind give off guilt which makes us feel less than happy.
I remember Freud also explains that our parents first impose these social restrictions, thus 'mothers words'!
So with that I can say that later on when grown up this parental authority becomes internalized into our conscience, "the superego" - So Freud called it.
I'm ranting .. My back hurts. I've written enough. I'm gonna go lye down or something.
By the way, Happy Birthday to Sean. （´･ω･｀）
I've been thinking latley about the general so and so, whether or not I'm going to get a refill on my medication and whether or not my depression is going to start kicking back in again. I know I've been going through 'manic' states with Adam on the phone which he entirely thought were the medications doings.
I don't know on the other hand. I'm not going to officially call myself psychotic, I don't even think of wanting to consider myself one anyway.
I feel I have most of the symptoms. So sais my doctor, she sais she was suggesting me a psychiatrist but I refused, I told her that my last encounter with a psychiatrist was not too long ago and not very inviting. He kept calling and questioning my business and what I was going to have to eat and all the whatnot.
Not only was this guy trying to manipulate my apathetic mind of the thought of being a psychological guinea pig, but he was also trying to act like my age. Did I mention how strange and uncomfortable that was?
I seriously feel I need someone to therapute my emotional/mental body. Well ofcourse, that's why Adams here. Oh and he's done so much but a poor guy can only do so much. I can't possibly ponder whether or not having my parents acknowledge the realm of my scarred errors, not only is it unquestionable. The era these people were brought up in there was no enquire of whether the human mentality is capable of afflicting psychotic and bi-polar behaviour.
I only get the simple phrase "Take some Aspirin" or "Excersize"
Funny how my parents are partically correct. Do you remember commercials and magazines where they suggest excersizing and sleeping a certain healthy hour will enhance your motivation to withstand simple burdens that were not possible in your past once depressed state?
Funny how your mind reacts to the physical unimpaired apparence of your being.
No aspect of life is more desired, more elusive and more perplexing than happiness. People wish to strive for what they believe will make them happy - good health, attractice looks, success, fame, financial independence... ect.
What is happiness exactly? How does one define it? The great minds of the past have attempted to define this all-important human experience for god knows how long.
I have even agreed with some philosophers conclusions that "Man is never happy, but spends his whole life striving after something he thinks will make him so"
Which can be quoted by none other than Auther Schopenhauer
He isn't much of a philosopher in my opinion, he was a large influence to Frued. He has much farfetched/taboo philosophical assumptions although his work in the theory of happiness striked me very much.
Freuds view of happiness emerges as fundamental to his materalists view of the world (d'uh, c'mon he was athiest)
I remember observing Freuds view on happiness which he stated in one of his books I cannot recall "Show by their behaviour to be the purpose and intention of their lives... the answer to this can hardly be in doubt. They strive after happiness; they want to become happy"
He also explained the opposite side of happiness.
Whether or not I agree with him most of this world would probably admit that, during the existence of our lives are still known to us happiness plays an important role in determining the quality of our lives. We would probably also agree, as the recent research on depression indicates that 'most people do not appaer to be happy for at least part of their lives"
Ofcourse what got me aggitated when studying about Freud was that he compares everything with the sexual perspective.. Freud mentions that because we experience sexual pleasure only as "an episodic phenomenon" ( quoted from The Complete Psycological Works, a book I purchased of Freuds theoretical assumptions) - that is, only after the sexual desire has reached a certain intensity we can experience happiness only for a brief period.
Frued also quotes "We are so made that we can derive intense enjoyment only frim a contrast and very little from a state of things. Thus our possibilities of happiness are already restriced by our consitution."
So I say to this, so basically our culture/mothers words impose restrictions and prohibitions on the expression of our instinctual sexual needs that further limit pleasure? So our capacity for happiness is limited.
I would say that that is a very good assumption because lets say we break these 'rules' our mind give off guilt which makes us feel less than happy.
I remember Freud also explains that our parents first impose these social restrictions, thus 'mothers words'!
So with that I can say that later on when grown up this parental authority becomes internalized into our conscience, "the superego" - So Freud called it.
I'm ranting .. My back hurts. I've written enough. I'm gonna go lye down or something.