I hurt me sometimes... drink with care...
Kitchen creations... when started near 10pm at night...
Potato & chicken soup for elk hunting trip....
2 super size cans of chicken broth
2-3 inches of diced potatoes in the large stock pot
1 packet of Lipton onion soup mix
1 package of basic Chix Tenders (about 6, foreman style grilled with bit of poultry seasoning - prepared weeks ago, frozen in vac seal bag and thawed yesterday)
Several handfuls of washed baby carrots
Poultry seasoning
1 can whole kernel corn
1/2 cup barley
Wash the barley, cause it's been in the cupboard for over a month and if there's company in it- washing it will remove the company... because company floats - barley doesn't. And no one wants company in their soup spoon, so better to make sure. Rinse once more and leave sitting in a little more water than the 1/2 marker while you do the rest...
Wash, peel and dice potatoes till you get the 2-3 inch measurement in the stock pot.
Rinse and drain the diced potatoes. Why? Because they start to turn color when it’s been a while and really do you need to cook that much extra starch into what you’re making? Wonder for a moment if there’s some sort of Alton-type science which says you shouldn’t do this - do it anyway. While you’re wondering, remind yourself that it’s not like this is uber healthy soup to start with, as you’ve removed the peel from the potato thus removing it’s only health redeeming quality - but refining it into something which is nummy and awesome and near food of the gods, because really - do gods need to worry about the nutritional value of potatoes without skins?? *Note to self: Weirdo!*
Drain the can of corn. Leave sitting on the ledge between the sinks to drain more while you continue.
Put all of one supersized can of chicken broth in with the potatoes... stir... Note that the potato is about 1 inch below the broth line... look at it and put in the can of corn... stir and consider getting a second can of corn... Decide that if you have to go out to the store for more corn you will, but you’d rather not.
Start heating the stock pot.
Dice chicken and add to pot. Stir and give it an evil look while you contemplate the need for another store run this late at night. Sniff broth and wonder if there's a point to this, since this is not the broth you usually use and the smell is not what you expect. Drain barley and add to pot... stir and wonder some more...
Decide you need more color. Wash some baby carrots... Give the knives you own all really dirty looks and imagine your cat playing with the little stray circles of carrot that will inevitably fly from chopping the baby carrots... *have a small moment of it's good that she's how she is, since right now you can get to all that before she would catch it* Root around in your drawers looking for a better knife or option anyway...
Decide to try out the cheapo ?Japanese? Oriental? slicer bought from a weird internet import place when a co-worker was all into the bento stuff... Cost of perhaps 2$... always dismissed as cheap and will break easy, so I've not used it... *slide/swish/slide/swish* *check* Huh?? Well, I guess ovals are ok... *slide/swish-fast-repeats* DAMN! That's awesome sauce... Thin and nice and fast and... OOoh -so easy... Wait... if I actually pack the carrots in there... and push like this... Woohoo!! it's like speed chef!! Wait! I need more carrots! HeeeHAaaheeeeeheheheheeheheheehee!!!! Oh, I like that! Do it again!!!
Add piles of carrot to pot. Stir... Smell.
Taste test... go to seasonings with a spoonful of broth and try adding oregano... nope... not it... Another spoonfull -try the next one... nope... not it... try again - Winner! What is that anyway? Oh, more poultry seasoning... Hmmm. Ok I guess. Taste test... almost... Consult the cupboard again - onion?... wait.. I have some Lipton onion soup back there... (Wow... this is reminding me of midwest/MN cooking - everythings' ok with Lipton or Cream of "blank" or tatertots and cheese...) Throw that in...
Stir... smell. Yes. Taste... Yes.
Hmmm... barley absorbs liquid doesn't it? Is there enough liquid? No.
Open second supersize can of broth and throw in half. Stir...
Oh.. damn... that's boiling and beautiful and wow... that's looking sexy. Soup? Sexy? Wtf is with my head tonight? But... Damn... that's just so.... sexy. *facepalm*
Well... can I make it better?
Hmm... Poke... stir... consider the shelves and drawers... beans? No.
Well... do you think you'll be awake long enough to stir this thing into pieces? No. Ok. Cheat - add little bit of dry instant mashed potato flakes so the broth gets a bit of thickener... Oh my... full bodied sexxxy soup...
*Note to self: Weirdo!~*
Ok... I'm about done here... but the barley's not quite done... will it finish in the cooling / vac packing / reheating?... umm. No. Don't chance it. Ok... so what are ya gonna do, oh wise one who started kitchen creation at late-thirty at night... ???
Well... I have a crock pot... But what about that crockpot taste? Well... if the main part of the cooking wasn't in the crock pot will it taste like crockpot? I dunno. Hmm. Well. I need sleep. OK - lets haul it out...
All in the crockpot... put in 1/2 of what's left of the broth (so you now only have 1/4 of the supersize can left in the fridge) - put the crock on low. Go to sleep with the intent of waking up in a couple hours... And apparently you turn off your alarm in your sleep...
But the cat wakes you up 2 hours later than you wanted... *good kitty, pettings for you!*
Add the last of the broth and stir and figure it's good till the rest of the morning - turn it off - go back to sleep. Wake up at 5:30 to shoot the cat...
Sniff... wow...
Sniff... wow...
Eat a bowl of cereal while waiting for the cat to finish eating... No. No soup for breakfast. Why not? No. Go back to bed for a little after shooting the cat... get up to go to work - have a 1/3 of a small bowl of soup - Holey sheets man... that's awesome! *zombie voice in head* Want more. *smack* No. 'Es fer hunting dude! - you can't eat it all now! *pout* Kay.... Cover and put in fridge for packaging in vac packs tonight... when you'll have a leetle bit more... and when you'll make sure there's a leetle bit more than that for a soup thermos (transformers I think) for lunch tomorrow when your other left overs run out anyway...
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Potato & chicken soup for elk hunting trip....
2 super size cans of chicken broth
2-3 inches of diced potatoes in the large stock pot
1 packet of Lipton onion soup mix
1 package of basic Chix Tenders (about 6, foreman style grilled with bit of poultry seasoning - prepared weeks ago, frozen in vac seal bag and thawed yesterday)
Several handfuls of washed baby carrots
Poultry seasoning
1 can whole kernel corn
1/2 cup barley
Wash the barley, cause it's been in the cupboard for over a month and if there's company in it- washing it will remove the company... because company floats - barley doesn't. And no one wants company in their soup spoon, so better to make sure. Rinse once more and leave sitting in a little more water than the 1/2 marker while you do the rest...
Wash, peel and dice potatoes till you get the 2-3 inch measurement in the stock pot.
Rinse and drain the diced potatoes. Why? Because they start to turn color when it’s been a while and really do you need to cook that much extra starch into what you’re making? Wonder for a moment if there’s some sort of Alton-type science which says you shouldn’t do this - do it anyway. While you’re wondering, remind yourself that it’s not like this is uber healthy soup to start with, as you’ve removed the peel from the potato thus removing it’s only health redeeming quality - but refining it into something which is nummy and awesome and near food of the gods, because really - do gods need to worry about the nutritional value of potatoes without skins?? *Note to self: Weirdo!*
Drain the can of corn. Leave sitting on the ledge between the sinks to drain more while you continue.
Put all of one supersized can of chicken broth in with the potatoes... stir... Note that the potato is about 1 inch below the broth line... look at it and put in the can of corn... stir and consider getting a second can of corn... Decide that if you have to go out to the store for more corn you will, but you’d rather not.
Start heating the stock pot.
Dice chicken and add to pot. Stir and give it an evil look while you contemplate the need for another store run this late at night. Sniff broth and wonder if there's a point to this, since this is not the broth you usually use and the smell is not what you expect. Drain barley and add to pot... stir and wonder some more...
Decide you need more color. Wash some baby carrots... Give the knives you own all really dirty looks and imagine your cat playing with the little stray circles of carrot that will inevitably fly from chopping the baby carrots... *have a small moment of it's good that she's how she is, since right now you can get to all that before she would catch it* Root around in your drawers looking for a better knife or option anyway...
Decide to try out the cheapo ?Japanese? Oriental? slicer bought from a weird internet import place when a co-worker was all into the bento stuff... Cost of perhaps 2$... always dismissed as cheap and will break easy, so I've not used it... *slide/swish/slide/swish* *check* Huh?? Well, I guess ovals are ok... *slide/swish-fast-repeats* DAMN! That's awesome sauce... Thin and nice and fast and... OOoh -so easy... Wait... if I actually pack the carrots in there... and push like this... Woohoo!! it's like speed chef!! Wait! I need more carrots! HeeeHAaaheeeeeheheheheeheheheehee!!!! Oh, I like that! Do it again!!!
Add piles of carrot to pot. Stir... Smell.
Taste test... go to seasonings with a spoonful of broth and try adding oregano... nope... not it... Another spoonfull -try the next one... nope... not it... try again - Winner! What is that anyway? Oh, more poultry seasoning... Hmmm. Ok I guess. Taste test... almost... Consult the cupboard again - onion?... wait.. I have some Lipton onion soup back there... (Wow... this is reminding me of midwest/MN cooking - everythings' ok with Lipton or Cream of "blank" or tatertots and cheese...) Throw that in...
Stir... smell. Yes. Taste... Yes.
Hmmm... barley absorbs liquid doesn't it? Is there enough liquid? No.
Open second supersize can of broth and throw in half. Stir...
Oh.. damn... that's boiling and beautiful and wow... that's looking sexy. Soup? Sexy? Wtf is with my head tonight? But... Damn... that's just so.... sexy. *facepalm*
Well... can I make it better?
Hmm... Poke... stir... consider the shelves and drawers... beans? No.
Well... do you think you'll be awake long enough to stir this thing into pieces? No. Ok. Cheat - add little bit of dry instant mashed potato flakes so the broth gets a bit of thickener... Oh my... full bodied sexxxy soup...
*Note to self: Weirdo!~*
Ok... I'm about done here... but the barley's not quite done... will it finish in the cooling / vac packing / reheating?... umm. No. Don't chance it. Ok... so what are ya gonna do, oh wise one who started kitchen creation at late-thirty at night... ???
Well... I have a crock pot... But what about that crockpot taste? Well... if the main part of the cooking wasn't in the crock pot will it taste like crockpot? I dunno. Hmm. Well. I need sleep. OK - lets haul it out...
All in the crockpot... put in 1/2 of what's left of the broth (so you now only have 1/4 of the supersize can left in the fridge) - put the crock on low. Go to sleep with the intent of waking up in a couple hours... And apparently you turn off your alarm in your sleep...
But the cat wakes you up 2 hours later than you wanted... *good kitty, pettings for you!*
Add the last of the broth and stir and figure it's good till the rest of the morning - turn it off - go back to sleep. Wake up at 5:30 to shoot the cat...
Sniff... wow...
Sniff... wow...
Eat a bowl of cereal while waiting for the cat to finish eating... No. No soup for breakfast. Why not? No. Go back to bed for a little after shooting the cat... get up to go to work - have a 1/3 of a small bowl of soup - Holey sheets man... that's awesome! *zombie voice in head* Want more. *smack* No. 'Es fer hunting dude! - you can't eat it all now! *pout* Kay.... Cover and put in fridge for packaging in vac packs tonight... when you'll have a leetle bit more... and when you'll make sure there's a leetle bit more than that for a soup thermos (transformers I think) for lunch tomorrow when your other left overs run out anyway...
Share as humor online.
Filter: public, non-friend screen