A Wildly Innapropriate Christmas
Run-on sentence for the kids:
I'm sure you care to know that my sleazy grandfather cheated on my alcoholic grandmother (who later committed suicide) all through their marriage, later wed a stripper in Vegas to only divorce her months later, went BROKE PHI BROKE due to financing too many cars and titty jobs for younger women, blatantly hit on my mom (good news! at least he is my dad's dad?) a few Christmas' ago, has up until today neglected to buy my sister and I Christmas presents for the past four years, and GET THIS!: is now rumored (with much evidence) to be boning this other sleazy old dude who lives with him. Hahahahaha.
Yuletide rumors and dysfunctional family encounters make the holidays that much more magical! How GAY.
I'm sure you care to know that my sleazy grandfather cheated on my alcoholic grandmother (who later committed suicide) all through their marriage, later wed a stripper in Vegas to only divorce her months later, went BROKE PHI BROKE due to financing too many cars and titty jobs for younger women, blatantly hit on my mom (good news! at least he is my dad's dad?) a few Christmas' ago, has up until today neglected to buy my sister and I Christmas presents for the past four years, and GET THIS!: is now rumored (with much evidence) to be boning this other sleazy old dude who lives with him. Hahahahaha.
Yuletide rumors and dysfunctional family encounters make the holidays that much more magical! How GAY.