Updating actually...
I've come to figure something out. And this is very sad. I only update when I am depressed. Seriously, look at all my entry's. So yeah I am obviously upset.But how do I wanna say it? How do I want to express the way I feel? I swore if this would ever happen I would respond in anger. In violence. But that has never even crossed my mind. I am totally calm. No more of that killing me bullshit, only my silent pain. So now a little Marilyn Manson. A certain person knows who this song is dedicated to, if she still reads my journal.
They slit our throats
Like we were flowers
And our milk has been
Devoured
When you want it
It goes away too fast
When you hate it
It always seems to last
But just remember when you think
You're free
The crack inside your fucking heart is me
(thought, not spoken):
I wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day
I wish i could sleep
But i can't lay on my back
Because there's a knife
For everyday that i've known you
When you want it
It goes away too fast
When you hate it
It always seems to last
But just remember when you think
You're free
The crack inside your fucking heart is me
(thought, not spoken):
I wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day
Lie to me, cry to me, give to me
I would
Lie with me, die with me, give to me
I would
Keep all your secrets wrapped in dead hair
I hope at least we die holding hands
For always.
So I had a very stressing day. So I decide to ride my motorcycle. That is the best way to relieve stress. Going 90 down a highway. You forget all your troubles. Work was pretty fun. I handed out things in front drive and I heard something very interesting in drive thru...
Illene: Hello, welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?
old woman: *mumbles something*
Illene: I'm sorry what?
old woman: *mumbles more*
Illene: Just pull up to the first drive through window.
old woman: *pulls up and says her name*
Illene: well hello then what can I get you
old woman: I want to pick up my prescription, I called it in this morning.
The old woman thought that McDonalds was the drive in Pharmacy. I started to laugh but then I looked out and saw my motorcycle. Then I got a lil worried because, well, old people are crazy, and I am so vulnerable on a bike. Then right after I got off it started pouring down rain. So I rode my motorcycle in the rain. I resembled a soaked rat. Long hair plastered to my face and all. But it was still so relaxing. Just me, the bike I'm on, and the open country zooming by my face. It is the greatest thing to be able to feel the slight changes in the air. Such as when you go down a hill the air will get colder. You feel the wind rippling your jacket. And then a bee flies down your shirt and you have to get it out going down the highway as it stings your chest and stomach and finally rolls in your belly button where it keeps stinging you. But yeah it was still fun.
They slit our throats
Like we were flowers
And our milk has been
Devoured
When you want it
It goes away too fast
When you hate it
It always seems to last
But just remember when you think
You're free
The crack inside your fucking heart is me
(thought, not spoken):
I wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day
I wish i could sleep
But i can't lay on my back
Because there's a knife
For everyday that i've known you
When you want it
It goes away too fast
When you hate it
It always seems to last
But just remember when you think
You're free
The crack inside your fucking heart is me
(thought, not spoken):
I wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day
Lie to me, cry to me, give to me
I would
Lie with me, die with me, give to me
I would
Keep all your secrets wrapped in dead hair
I hope at least we die holding hands
For always.
So I had a very stressing day. So I decide to ride my motorcycle. That is the best way to relieve stress. Going 90 down a highway. You forget all your troubles. Work was pretty fun. I handed out things in front drive and I heard something very interesting in drive thru...
Illene: Hello, welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?
old woman: *mumbles something*
Illene: I'm sorry what?
old woman: *mumbles more*
Illene: Just pull up to the first drive through window.
old woman: *pulls up and says her name*
Illene: well hello then what can I get you
old woman: I want to pick up my prescription, I called it in this morning.
The old woman thought that McDonalds was the drive in Pharmacy. I started to laugh but then I looked out and saw my motorcycle. Then I got a lil worried because, well, old people are crazy, and I am so vulnerable on a bike. Then right after I got off it started pouring down rain. So I rode my motorcycle in the rain. I resembled a soaked rat. Long hair plastered to my face and all. But it was still so relaxing. Just me, the bike I'm on, and the open country zooming by my face. It is the greatest thing to be able to feel the slight changes in the air. Such as when you go down a hill the air will get colder. You feel the wind rippling your jacket. And then a bee flies down your shirt and you have to get it out going down the highway as it stings your chest and stomach and finally rolls in your belly button where it keeps stinging you. But yeah it was still fun.