hopeless
“You Won!” flashes on my screen. Pixilated dots flying toward the center of the screen collide into fireworks adding emphasis to my success. These two words couldn’t be more wrong, but they are the most direct, congratulatory words I’ve seen or heard in years. In adult life, you can reward yourself when you’ve succeeded. Only you know which victory is worth celebrating, because only you can conquer yourself. I have a paper to write, which is why I sat down at the computer in the first place. That paper is nowhere near its completion. Then again, what will be my reward for completing it? My reward will be a score that tells me, and the rest of the world, how average I am.
“You Won!” thank you, I needed that boost in confidence. It’s an automated response from a machine eliciting my sense of satisfaction. What have we become when a machine can give us more encouragement than our overbearing fathers or our work-dazed mothers? We are a nation absented from ourselves. We have left each other to gain our own successes, and we share those successes with our dog or cat.
“You Won!” thank you? Satisfaction doesn’t exist anymore. When I realize I’ve completed my task, I also realize I’ve neglected everything else. I have failed everything else. Am I satisfied now? No, of course I’m not. Are you satisfied when you come home from work only to remember that your work isn’t finished. Your work will never be finished (IPV). Tomorrow will be as today is, oft the same as yesterday was.
“Control N”, new game (IF). I start over, card values scattered underneath identically framed backs. It’s the same game, but I try different combinations to reach my goal. This will work better. I can win in fewer moves, and gain more satisfaction from my efforts. Maybe just winning at all is what I should hope for, and I shouldn’t try so hard to strategize.
“Control N”, new game (IF).
“You Won!” thank you, I needed that boost in confidence. It’s an automated response from a machine eliciting my sense of satisfaction. What have we become when a machine can give us more encouragement than our overbearing fathers or our work-dazed mothers? We are a nation absented from ourselves. We have left each other to gain our own successes, and we share those successes with our dog or cat.
“You Won!” thank you? Satisfaction doesn’t exist anymore. When I realize I’ve completed my task, I also realize I’ve neglected everything else. I have failed everything else. Am I satisfied now? No, of course I’m not. Are you satisfied when you come home from work only to remember that your work isn’t finished. Your work will never be finished (IPV). Tomorrow will be as today is, oft the same as yesterday was.
“Control N”, new game (IF). I start over, card values scattered underneath identically framed backs. It’s the same game, but I try different combinations to reach my goal. This will work better. I can win in fewer moves, and gain more satisfaction from my efforts. Maybe just winning at all is what I should hope for, and I shouldn’t try so hard to strategize.
“Control N”, new game (IF).