"Mademoiselle, dammit, mademoiselle!" - Patsy Stone
OK, so I have a touch of vanity about me. So sue me.
The last few nights I have slept terribly; very broken up sleep interspersed with truly odd dreams have left me waking early in the morning still feeling exhausted. The cumulative effect is starting to take its toll on me. But worse was to come. I went in to the bathroom here at work a few moments ago, looked in the mirror and saw...
Dark bags under my eyes.
I nearly fainted.
To me, the appearance of dark circles under the eyes is a classic hallmark of age in my family on my mother's side. The more olive skin tones of the Italian side makes eye circles darker than the norm, and while I am not that dark the same thing is playing out on me.
Holy Jeebus Jimbob, I had dark bags under my eyes! Admittedly, they were not that bad by anyone's terms, but I could see them, recognize them, and know what they were.
Does anyone know anything I can do to minimize them on days like this, I ask in a state of near panic? Because I don't want to have to resort to wearing a full face covering of makeup to cover up these buggers. If you don't volunteer the information quickly I will end up looking like a bad version of Barry Manilow, all plastic surgery, artificial tan and makeup. DON'T TEMPT ME, I'LL DO IT!
I had a young man of the non-heterosexual persuasion tell me "Wow, you look amazing for someone of YOUR AGE!" the other day. In fact, he kept emphasizing the fact that he couldn't believe I was as OLD as I was. I finally nicely told him to piss off and bother someone else. My birthday is in a few weeks and I am feeling a bit touchy about it.
Does anyone know where I can find an 18 year old virgin that I can drain the life energy from to recharge my batteries? That would make the best birthday present of all. Speaking of which, you all owe me birthday presents this year so that I can feel better about officially hitting my mid-40s. Delivery by this weekend is best to avoid the rush. Expensive things would be nice, but supremely well thought out bargains are also deeply appreciated. Nothing from yard sales, though, unless you managed to find a Gainsborough hiding in the rough.
Now, excuse me, while I go off to massage my eye bags and have a good cry. Did I mention that the last two months have seen a notable increase in my gray hair from nearly none to a fair sprinkling?
Ah, time, you have seen fit to ravage me at last. Sigh.
The last few nights I have slept terribly; very broken up sleep interspersed with truly odd dreams have left me waking early in the morning still feeling exhausted. The cumulative effect is starting to take its toll on me. But worse was to come. I went in to the bathroom here at work a few moments ago, looked in the mirror and saw...
Dark bags under my eyes.
I nearly fainted.
To me, the appearance of dark circles under the eyes is a classic hallmark of age in my family on my mother's side. The more olive skin tones of the Italian side makes eye circles darker than the norm, and while I am not that dark the same thing is playing out on me.
Holy Jeebus Jimbob, I had dark bags under my eyes! Admittedly, they were not that bad by anyone's terms, but I could see them, recognize them, and know what they were.
Does anyone know anything I can do to minimize them on days like this, I ask in a state of near panic? Because I don't want to have to resort to wearing a full face covering of makeup to cover up these buggers. If you don't volunteer the information quickly I will end up looking like a bad version of Barry Manilow, all plastic surgery, artificial tan and makeup. DON'T TEMPT ME, I'LL DO IT!
I had a young man of the non-heterosexual persuasion tell me "Wow, you look amazing for someone of YOUR AGE!" the other day. In fact, he kept emphasizing the fact that he couldn't believe I was as OLD as I was. I finally nicely told him to piss off and bother someone else. My birthday is in a few weeks and I am feeling a bit touchy about it.
Does anyone know where I can find an 18 year old virgin that I can drain the life energy from to recharge my batteries? That would make the best birthday present of all. Speaking of which, you all owe me birthday presents this year so that I can feel better about officially hitting my mid-40s. Delivery by this weekend is best to avoid the rush. Expensive things would be nice, but supremely well thought out bargains are also deeply appreciated. Nothing from yard sales, though, unless you managed to find a Gainsborough hiding in the rough.
Now, excuse me, while I go off to massage my eye bags and have a good cry. Did I mention that the last two months have seen a notable increase in my gray hair from nearly none to a fair sprinkling?
Ah, time, you have seen fit to ravage me at last. Sigh.