A little ranting....
Ok this isn't directed towards anyone persons, more like quite a few I can think of off the top of my head. Your opinion can be completely different than mine and that's fine, but just remember you were the one that chose to read it.
Here it goes. Lately a lot of people I love in my life have been talking about suicide. This really upsets me. I personally don't see how anyone could even consider taking there own life. It's such a precious gift that we were given, why would you just want to throw it away because a few bad things have happened? It pisses me off when people seem to think they have it so bad in life. You all have friends and families that love you and would do anything for you, and you know that. It may seem like they're far away emotionally and physically, but you know in the end if you need something i'll be there for you, and so will you other friends and family. I know a lot of people are probably thinking, well you've never been through a lot of shit, but thats where you're wrong. I know of 3 people off the top of my head that knows everything from my life, and it's none of you that read this journal, so don't even try pulling that bullshit on me. My life was so hard for me when I was growing up. I was afraid and I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone because I was afraid of what would happen to me. I've went through a lot of other hard times in the past 2 years as well. I went trough my grandma having cancer, then a massive heart attack where they weren't expecting her to make it, to only find out that she got more cancer, then my uncle OD on drugs and was in a coma, now he's half brain dead, i've had my father try to get in contact with me a number of times in the past year and a half. I want nothing to do with him, and some of you are probably like that's horrible, but not everyone knows what my dad has put me through. He walked out on my right before I turned 6, and I didn't hear anything from him until I was 12. He went 6 fucking years without ever calling and just saying Hi honey I love you. I never once got that. I decided to give him a second chnce only to have him try to buy my love, and then move to nashville, tenn, and walk out of my life again when I was 15. Now he tries to get ahold of me, and it hurts because I don't want him to hurt me again. I know it's not my fault that he kept leaving me, but theres always something deep down that makes me wonder if I would have done stuff differently would he had stayed in my life. So next time some of you that think I have life so fucking easy, just remember that that is only the icing on the cake. i didn't feel like putting everything down here.
I just get sopissed off when people talk about killing themself. They're just being selfish and a coward. All you're thinking about is your self, and how you think it'll make it easier for you. Try thinking of all the people that you love, how much it will hurt them. Doesn't it mean anything to you that you'll be hurting a lot of people. It's not your choice to decide when you die, it's gods choice, whether you believe in god or not I really don't give a damn, that's your own personal opinion, you can believe in whoever you want to, but it's not your choice to make all those decesions. If it was you'd all be more powerful than what you are now. Right now we're all the same people basically. Each of us that that little bit that's different that makes us unique, but we all have skin and blood, and everyone goes through hard times. Things will get better, and know that i'm here if you ever need to talk.
I'm sorry if I pissed anyone off, but at the same point I needed to get that of my chest.
Here it goes. Lately a lot of people I love in my life have been talking about suicide. This really upsets me. I personally don't see how anyone could even consider taking there own life. It's such a precious gift that we were given, why would you just want to throw it away because a few bad things have happened? It pisses me off when people seem to think they have it so bad in life. You all have friends and families that love you and would do anything for you, and you know that. It may seem like they're far away emotionally and physically, but you know in the end if you need something i'll be there for you, and so will you other friends and family. I know a lot of people are probably thinking, well you've never been through a lot of shit, but thats where you're wrong. I know of 3 people off the top of my head that knows everything from my life, and it's none of you that read this journal, so don't even try pulling that bullshit on me. My life was so hard for me when I was growing up. I was afraid and I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone because I was afraid of what would happen to me. I've went through a lot of other hard times in the past 2 years as well. I went trough my grandma having cancer, then a massive heart attack where they weren't expecting her to make it, to only find out that she got more cancer, then my uncle OD on drugs and was in a coma, now he's half brain dead, i've had my father try to get in contact with me a number of times in the past year and a half. I want nothing to do with him, and some of you are probably like that's horrible, but not everyone knows what my dad has put me through. He walked out on my right before I turned 6, and I didn't hear anything from him until I was 12. He went 6 fucking years without ever calling and just saying Hi honey I love you. I never once got that. I decided to give him a second chnce only to have him try to buy my love, and then move to nashville, tenn, and walk out of my life again when I was 15. Now he tries to get ahold of me, and it hurts because I don't want him to hurt me again. I know it's not my fault that he kept leaving me, but theres always something deep down that makes me wonder if I would have done stuff differently would he had stayed in my life. So next time some of you that think I have life so fucking easy, just remember that that is only the icing on the cake. i didn't feel like putting everything down here.
I just get sopissed off when people talk about killing themself. They're just being selfish and a coward. All you're thinking about is your self, and how you think it'll make it easier for you. Try thinking of all the people that you love, how much it will hurt them. Doesn't it mean anything to you that you'll be hurting a lot of people. It's not your choice to decide when you die, it's gods choice, whether you believe in god or not I really don't give a damn, that's your own personal opinion, you can believe in whoever you want to, but it's not your choice to make all those decesions. If it was you'd all be more powerful than what you are now. Right now we're all the same people basically. Each of us that that little bit that's different that makes us unique, but we all have skin and blood, and everyone goes through hard times. Things will get better, and know that i'm here if you ever need to talk.
I'm sorry if I pissed anyone off, but at the same point I needed to get that of my chest.