Skittlebrau - Brewin since 83'
I guess this is my obligatory "Look everyone, i'm reaching adulthood so pay attention to me post". Although it's hardly a grab for attention as i'd say there's 3 people who'll even read this max.
I am more excited for turning 18 I gotta say. More excited than I was that cold night or morning or whatever it was when I said I wasn't. But I guess i'm more excited to actually have the tides turn and get on with my life as opposed to celebrating the changes that'll happen to my lifestyle. I feel like i've been 18 for over a year now, so I guess I just want what is entailed with that as opposed to being the youngin who can't goto bars.
My life is mostly where I wanted it when I thought about being 18. I have a good job, great girlfriend, social life is fine, school is fine, family life is fine. I guess the one thing i'm really missing is security. Not as in the locks on my gates are rusty and i'm going to be assaulted by a home invader security, but more like, life security I guess?
My job is good but I don't really feel all that welcome there. I guess a 17 year old coming into an office of predominantly 35-50 year olds will get that feeling, but it's hard to feel secure in my position when I don't feel like other people want me to be. I love my girlfriend and i'm not afraid to say that, and I guess all I want at the moment is our relationship to be secure. But, and probably through mostly my own fault, I don't feel that way. I know I want it to keep going and I care about her deeply, but I don't feel like I can plan for things a month or 2 ahead without seeming presumptuous or perhaps making a mistake. But am I really insecure or just being smart so I don't get hurt? I've never really cared about a girl enough to get hurt, so maybe this is my brain's natural reaction to being in love - making me feel insecure so I don't get hurt whenever it does end. I guess it sucks for Kate because she either has to put work in reminding me that we're fine or having an insecure boyfriend. And I guess that's not what I expected of myself at 18, but I spose I didn't expect to be dating someone I enjoyed having around so much when I thought up these expectations either.
I do feel secure in my friends. My home life can flip out at a second so i'd never call that secure.
I spose that's about all. I'm looking forward to partying down this weekend, at least.
And when we finally goto a fucking bar, it'll be like a giant weight has been lifted from my youngin' shoulders.
I am more excited for turning 18 I gotta say. More excited than I was that cold night or morning or whatever it was when I said I wasn't. But I guess i'm more excited to actually have the tides turn and get on with my life as opposed to celebrating the changes that'll happen to my lifestyle. I feel like i've been 18 for over a year now, so I guess I just want what is entailed with that as opposed to being the youngin who can't goto bars.
My life is mostly where I wanted it when I thought about being 18. I have a good job, great girlfriend, social life is fine, school is fine, family life is fine. I guess the one thing i'm really missing is security. Not as in the locks on my gates are rusty and i'm going to be assaulted by a home invader security, but more like, life security I guess?
My job is good but I don't really feel all that welcome there. I guess a 17 year old coming into an office of predominantly 35-50 year olds will get that feeling, but it's hard to feel secure in my position when I don't feel like other people want me to be. I love my girlfriend and i'm not afraid to say that, and I guess all I want at the moment is our relationship to be secure. But, and probably through mostly my own fault, I don't feel that way. I know I want it to keep going and I care about her deeply, but I don't feel like I can plan for things a month or 2 ahead without seeming presumptuous or perhaps making a mistake. But am I really insecure or just being smart so I don't get hurt? I've never really cared about a girl enough to get hurt, so maybe this is my brain's natural reaction to being in love - making me feel insecure so I don't get hurt whenever it does end. I guess it sucks for Kate because she either has to put work in reminding me that we're fine or having an insecure boyfriend. And I guess that's not what I expected of myself at 18, but I spose I didn't expect to be dating someone I enjoyed having around so much when I thought up these expectations either.
I do feel secure in my friends. My home life can flip out at a second so i'd never call that secure.
I spose that's about all. I'm looking forward to partying down this weekend, at least.
And when we finally goto a fucking bar, it'll be like a giant weight has been lifted from my youngin' shoulders.