(no subject)
karinu's birthday present to me arrived today; he actually considered sending it way back when he found it. I forget which of us decided to wait until it got close to the 28th. Anyway, seeing as it was about video game-sized and I've been bored lately, I decided to open it early.
He found a used copy of Xenogears. :) A replacement for the one I lost...
Let me tell you all a story. Once upon a time, I was in a bad relationship with a man borne out of desperation -- minor trouble coping with my choosing to break up with Binkley because I was being too overbearing and major friction with my parents at the time. This poor excuse for a man made himself out to be a hero, something he desperately wanted to believe about himself, and offered to let me stay with him.
Skipping a whole bunch of stuff not relevant to the actual story I'm telling, about eight or nine months later I was living there. I couldn't take all my stuff with me at once, though; I took some of it, then put some more in a pile which my parents shipped to me. However, somewhere between when it left and when it got to British Columbia, things fell apart and I was flown home (and I forgot a few items at the apartment, too). My parents claimed he could just refuse delivery and The Package (as I later came to call it) would come back free of charge, but it never did -- and he claimed that it never arrived. I wasn't so sure I believed him, to be honest.
Time passed, and it seemed clear that I'd never see The Package again. A couple of the items were even replaced. Then, years later, he showed up again, claiming that The Package had been found -- it was only slightly misdelivered, and was found in storage in the apartment building we'd lived in. Seeing as I didn't (and still don't) think much of the guy anymore, I was standoffish and insisted that we stick to business; he, however, insisted on chatting and trying to get me to act friendly with him -- never mind that he neglected me while he was hosting me as a supposed show of love, and had constantly wondered why I couldn't read his mind. (Hints? Excuse me? You're freaking poker-faced!)
Anyway, to get back on track, he claimed that I "must not really want" The Package because I wouldn't jump through the hoops he wanted and boost his ego by giving him the time of day even after how he'd treated me. That frankly darkened my attitude towards him further. Why does he think it's his divine right to have his ego propped up by me? Not that this was something new; in the past, he had flipped out because I asked an entire channel he was in a computer question instead of directly asking him, and on another occasion he took it very hard that I extrapolated something correctly about an IRC protocol addition and he didn't.
Because I insisted on discussing The Package and nothing else and he insisted on getting me back as a "friend", he refused to send it back to me. As though it weren't my stuff to begin with, as though he had a right to use that as a bribe.
But you know what? I really don't regret it. Two hundred dollars' worth of mere material possessions isn't worth my dignity and free will. I do miss a lot of that stuff, certainly, and at times it's even annoying that I don't have it. But ultimately, I'd rather be out some RPG books, a few outfits, a couple of video games, a bunch of CDs, a soprano recorder, a raincoat, and some half-complete Magic decks including some rares than spend one more minute being his bitch. (And that's just the stuff I can remember. I may have forgotten an item or two.)
Thanks, Kushu... both for getting me one more item back and for reminding me of one reason why I should hold my head up high. :)
(Sorry, journal-less friends, but anonymous replies are off again for now. A shame, as I suspect all of you would have interesting things to say, but the peanut gallery is just not welcome.)
He found a used copy of Xenogears. :) A replacement for the one I lost...
Let me tell you all a story. Once upon a time, I was in a bad relationship with a man borne out of desperation -- minor trouble coping with my choosing to break up with Binkley because I was being too overbearing and major friction with my parents at the time. This poor excuse for a man made himself out to be a hero, something he desperately wanted to believe about himself, and offered to let me stay with him.
Skipping a whole bunch of stuff not relevant to the actual story I'm telling, about eight or nine months later I was living there. I couldn't take all my stuff with me at once, though; I took some of it, then put some more in a pile which my parents shipped to me. However, somewhere between when it left and when it got to British Columbia, things fell apart and I was flown home (and I forgot a few items at the apartment, too). My parents claimed he could just refuse delivery and The Package (as I later came to call it) would come back free of charge, but it never did -- and he claimed that it never arrived. I wasn't so sure I believed him, to be honest.
Time passed, and it seemed clear that I'd never see The Package again. A couple of the items were even replaced. Then, years later, he showed up again, claiming that The Package had been found -- it was only slightly misdelivered, and was found in storage in the apartment building we'd lived in. Seeing as I didn't (and still don't) think much of the guy anymore, I was standoffish and insisted that we stick to business; he, however, insisted on chatting and trying to get me to act friendly with him -- never mind that he neglected me while he was hosting me as a supposed show of love, and had constantly wondered why I couldn't read his mind. (Hints? Excuse me? You're freaking poker-faced!)
Anyway, to get back on track, he claimed that I "must not really want" The Package because I wouldn't jump through the hoops he wanted and boost his ego by giving him the time of day even after how he'd treated me. That frankly darkened my attitude towards him further. Why does he think it's his divine right to have his ego propped up by me? Not that this was something new; in the past, he had flipped out because I asked an entire channel he was in a computer question instead of directly asking him, and on another occasion he took it very hard that I extrapolated something correctly about an IRC protocol addition and he didn't.
Because I insisted on discussing The Package and nothing else and he insisted on getting me back as a "friend", he refused to send it back to me. As though it weren't my stuff to begin with, as though he had a right to use that as a bribe.
But you know what? I really don't regret it. Two hundred dollars' worth of mere material possessions isn't worth my dignity and free will. I do miss a lot of that stuff, certainly, and at times it's even annoying that I don't have it. But ultimately, I'd rather be out some RPG books, a few outfits, a couple of video games, a bunch of CDs, a soprano recorder, a raincoat, and some half-complete Magic decks including some rares than spend one more minute being his bitch. (And that's just the stuff I can remember. I may have forgotten an item or two.)
Thanks, Kushu... both for getting me one more item back and for reminding me of one reason why I should hold my head up high. :)
(Sorry, journal-less friends, but anonymous replies are off again for now. A shame, as I suspect all of you would have interesting things to say, but the peanut gallery is just not welcome.)