reflections on writing, health, and motherhood

[ptbvisiongrrl]

I have been getting some wonderful reviews and compliments on my recent burst of writing, and lot of new reviews on old stories, now that a new book has been released in the fandom. And I think I've finally got my mind around all the ideas that I've been tossing around for ten years about my my original novel- I know how I want to organize all the little ideas together. I've got some outlining done, lots of notes, etc. I even went to a local writing conference a few weeks ago (did I write about that here? End of the year fog...) and telling people (even in my family) about my blog and fan-fiction. I have even started describing myself as "writer" again. It's been a long time since I felt like that, probably since college, when I was churning out a poem a day. (Maybe I'll dig some out and post them here, or at least the ones that aren't too painful to see again.) It's like a little piece of me has been snapped into place. It's the same feeling I had when I found teaching.

And the same feeling when I had kids.

I'm probably the happiest I've been in a long time. I won't go into details- no pity party here- but, while I was happy all along, there was always something going on that pissed me off or upset me. And right now, I'm pretty mellow. The only thing that is going on that I'm NOT happy about is my health, which I think I am coming to terms with. It's taken four years for me to accept that my life will have limits that I don't set. Maybe I'm just maturing.

Of course, having said that, I dyed my hair bright fuschia last week.

Maybe it's not maturity.