so...
the blue line debacle yesterday caused the freakout to end all freakouts. i called my grandma at like 10 o'clock crying and stressing out and she actually gave me the quit school option. but after talking for another 10-15 minutes i didn't want to anymore. and i told her about beating the shit out of myself in my sleep. and talked about the roadtrip i want to do to write about for my thesis. since she's got the house selling process rolling and that means her having good credit again and being able to sign my loans again. and so i might have the funding for it. and she just made me feel a whole hell of a lot better. and i'm odly optimistic today.