In which I flounce
Poppy Z. Brite wrote:
In Internet jargon, there is a phenomenon known as "flouncing." The flouncer is never content to simply leave a message board or discussion forum he finds disagreeable; he must conspicuously announce that he is leaving, detail the inadequacies of the other posters, bemoan the cruel treatment he has received, and, likely as not, sneak back to check the reactions to his flounce. Usually these reactions boil down to "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."
I think I am about to take an indefinite break from the S.E. DDR community.
1. I'm not having fun.
I barely play, I haven't gotten better, I've watched about 7 people go from "Hey how do I play this Dance Dance Revolveolution thing" to "dude, I totally just got a flag on disconnected disco" within the course of a year. After yet-another emotionally torrid weekend where I had spent 60 hours awake, 14 of them driving, rounding off 52,000 miles on a 2-year-old car. I came away feeling like I had been a ghost who had been asked "but where are your cookies" about 40 times. I shouldn't have to brace myself for the experience sucking if I can't manage to take some of my Atlanta friends with me. In fact, I should have probably stayed home and hung out with my Atlanta friends.
2. What Atlanta community?
When I moved here, I basically got to see ATL die. Veggie, Fiber, Sk1p, Mole, Pyrona, Sushi, Ketchup all pretty much started to succumb to "a little too old for this shit" syndrome and move on about a year after I got here. There have been attempts at revivals... hell, I'm a moderator on AtlantaBemani.org.. but the fact that ATL seems to have about 15 extreme machines that if you bundeled all the parts would make about 3 actually good machines... one ITG 2 40 miles away that sits in what is essentially a Dave-n-Busters with more drunk people... makes prospects a little disheartening. I haven't been good to my own community, I feel like I have lost a passion for the game and the types of people who play, and most of the interactions I get with the people I liked are through the emotionless, tactless internet.
3. I feel invisible.
I used to get random IMs and PMs and LJ comments all the time from new people who were interested in what I had to say. People used to be interested in more than my cookies. I spent that entire first night of RMT6 in Josh's kitchen making cookies and I think the most interesting thing anyone ever said to me was that they thought my real name was "Shane". I feel thoroughly uninteresting, uninvolved, unloved. I have a few nice moments with Ava and Kendo and such... but it's more than off-put by the fact that no-one seems to want to get me involved in anything more. My prime thought is Bacherelli at the Sonic... I am upset I never got included in the original game in the first place, but I know how petty and stupid that is so I instead channel it into "maybe you should let all the nice readers know how the hell this game is actually played, Mike" uber-bitchy posts in Mike's bacherelli thread. The only time Josh ever talks to me anymore is when I hint that maybe saying stuff like "Supernova sucks already" and "Wow, my friends from Columbus/Illinois who like to be tremendous jackasses just for the hell of it are the best thing ever" was, in fact, a really bad idea. Thus when we do talk, the exchanges are none too pleasant.
4. I'm not nice anymore, at least I don't feel nice
I've had about three people from the Carolina's I considered my biggest DDR friends call me an asshole (in so many words) over the past couple of months. It hurts a lot, they never stick around to discuss why they think I am being an asshole beyond their original tirades, they don't acknowlege any of the points I make that makes them think I am "just being an asshole". Otherwise, I agreed with them, I do think I am becoming quite the asshole. I found myself typing up at least 4 flame posts in my head DURING the tourney about how I think the freestyle was horribly run, how Josh was mean to me, other stupid shit I used to be able to brush off. I don't feel like the cool gay guy anymore. I feel like i'm turning into a boorish, insufferable faggot. Worse, an attention-whore boorish insufferable faggot who no-one should really stick around and talk to because that'd just encourage him.
5. Discoman got the nominations for S.E. moderator and I don't think I was even considered.
Yes, this is the petty straw that broke the back of my cameltoe. That really made me feel like little more than a too-old-school player who had overstayed his only-able-to-AA-35-songs never-gave-us-that-drag-freestyle-he-promised welcome. I thought I had credentials (I run a PHPBB board of my own so I'd be pretty swift with a Point/pm/site-suggestion), most everyone thought I was nice, I had been around a long time and would be able to tell a simple parody thread started by a regular from random h8tery). But at the same time, I look at points 3 and 4 and realize why I was completely passed over. I'd probably just become a second IguannaGrrl because I agreed with her tactics ("no, these are the rules, and I'm sick of having to deal with your whining or special circumstances *points points points* *ban ban ban*") , and that is exactly the type of mod that SE doesn't need.
And SE doesn't need me either.
I dunno everyone. It was a pretty good run but I'm just feeling burned the fuck out and, as Ava phrased it, I'm getting too old for this bullshit. I no longer like the person I am when I post on DDR freak, and I feel like I've taken up too many causes that cause me to break down and fire up the unsympathetic h8 machine. Maybe after I get back in to the actual game I'll be able to start participating on a real DDR level and no longer feel the need to blast random people for stupid shit that seems important to me at the time. Until then feel free to hit me up to chat, I just will be avoiding DDRfreak for a while and will refrain from commenting on any DDR related news or drama I see in my friendslist.
http://www.petermwhite.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=270 <-- should you wish to comment.
In Internet jargon, there is a phenomenon known as "flouncing." The flouncer is never content to simply leave a message board or discussion forum he finds disagreeable; he must conspicuously announce that he is leaving, detail the inadequacies of the other posters, bemoan the cruel treatment he has received, and, likely as not, sneak back to check the reactions to his flounce. Usually these reactions boil down to "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."
I think I am about to take an indefinite break from the S.E. DDR community.
1. I'm not having fun.
I barely play, I haven't gotten better, I've watched about 7 people go from "Hey how do I play this Dance Dance Revolveolution thing" to "dude, I totally just got a flag on disconnected disco" within the course of a year. After yet-another emotionally torrid weekend where I had spent 60 hours awake, 14 of them driving, rounding off 52,000 miles on a 2-year-old car. I came away feeling like I had been a ghost who had been asked "but where are your cookies" about 40 times. I shouldn't have to brace myself for the experience sucking if I can't manage to take some of my Atlanta friends with me. In fact, I should have probably stayed home and hung out with my Atlanta friends.
2. What Atlanta community?
When I moved here, I basically got to see ATL die. Veggie, Fiber, Sk1p, Mole, Pyrona, Sushi, Ketchup all pretty much started to succumb to "a little too old for this shit" syndrome and move on about a year after I got here. There have been attempts at revivals... hell, I'm a moderator on AtlantaBemani.org.. but the fact that ATL seems to have about 15 extreme machines that if you bundeled all the parts would make about 3 actually good machines... one ITG 2 40 miles away that sits in what is essentially a Dave-n-Busters with more drunk people... makes prospects a little disheartening. I haven't been good to my own community, I feel like I have lost a passion for the game and the types of people who play, and most of the interactions I get with the people I liked are through the emotionless, tactless internet.
3. I feel invisible.
I used to get random IMs and PMs and LJ comments all the time from new people who were interested in what I had to say. People used to be interested in more than my cookies. I spent that entire first night of RMT6 in Josh's kitchen making cookies and I think the most interesting thing anyone ever said to me was that they thought my real name was "Shane". I feel thoroughly uninteresting, uninvolved, unloved. I have a few nice moments with Ava and Kendo and such... but it's more than off-put by the fact that no-one seems to want to get me involved in anything more. My prime thought is Bacherelli at the Sonic... I am upset I never got included in the original game in the first place, but I know how petty and stupid that is so I instead channel it into "maybe you should let all the nice readers know how the hell this game is actually played, Mike" uber-bitchy posts in Mike's bacherelli thread. The only time Josh ever talks to me anymore is when I hint that maybe saying stuff like "Supernova sucks already" and "Wow, my friends from Columbus/Illinois who like to be tremendous jackasses just for the hell of it are the best thing ever" was, in fact, a really bad idea. Thus when we do talk, the exchanges are none too pleasant.
4. I'm not nice anymore, at least I don't feel nice
I've had about three people from the Carolina's I considered my biggest DDR friends call me an asshole (in so many words) over the past couple of months. It hurts a lot, they never stick around to discuss why they think I am being an asshole beyond their original tirades, they don't acknowlege any of the points I make that makes them think I am "just being an asshole". Otherwise, I agreed with them, I do think I am becoming quite the asshole. I found myself typing up at least 4 flame posts in my head DURING the tourney about how I think the freestyle was horribly run, how Josh was mean to me, other stupid shit I used to be able to brush off. I don't feel like the cool gay guy anymore. I feel like i'm turning into a boorish, insufferable faggot. Worse, an attention-whore boorish insufferable faggot who no-one should really stick around and talk to because that'd just encourage him.
5. Discoman got the nominations for S.E. moderator and I don't think I was even considered.
Yes, this is the petty straw that broke the back of my cameltoe. That really made me feel like little more than a too-old-school player who had overstayed his only-able-to-AA-35-songs never-gave-us-that-drag-freestyle-he-promised welcome. I thought I had credentials (I run a PHPBB board of my own so I'd be pretty swift with a Point/pm/site-suggestion), most everyone thought I was nice, I had been around a long time and would be able to tell a simple parody thread started by a regular from random h8tery). But at the same time, I look at points 3 and 4 and realize why I was completely passed over. I'd probably just become a second IguannaGrrl because I agreed with her tactics ("no, these are the rules, and I'm sick of having to deal with your whining or special circumstances *points points points* *ban ban ban*") , and that is exactly the type of mod that SE doesn't need.
And SE doesn't need me either.
I dunno everyone. It was a pretty good run but I'm just feeling burned the fuck out and, as Ava phrased it, I'm getting too old for this bullshit. I no longer like the person I am when I post on DDR freak, and I feel like I've taken up too many causes that cause me to break down and fire up the unsympathetic h8 machine. Maybe after I get back in to the actual game I'll be able to start participating on a real DDR level and no longer feel the need to blast random people for stupid shit that seems important to me at the time. Until then feel free to hit me up to chat, I just will be avoiding DDRfreak for a while and will refrain from commenting on any DDR related news or drama I see in my friendslist.
http://www.petermwhite.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=270 <-- should you wish to comment.