Musings
Sometimes in life there are times that are not necessarily good times or bad times, but simply times of learning. When you are in a situation and you suddenly realize that you don’t know what to do, because you have never stood in that spot before. You have no reassurance that everything will be alright and you have no deep foreboding that your world is about to begin a downward spiral. And so you sit. And wait. You can’t be proactive because you are not even sure what that would involve. And you sit and wait. And do your best to solve the riddle; to pay close attention to every new clue, to every turn. You are being tested but it’s not exciting or scary, just a rational dance you are learning while the music is playing. These are not the best times in life. In fact, to someone who enjoys constant control over her environs, this is a very frustrating time. To admit: I don’t know what I am doing. To say, the game is being controlled at another end, and that is alright because it is not my job to control this game. My job is to play. To learn. To be.