Relevance I haz it

[psynde]

Wow! Today was one of those days where I woke up and BOOM, the struggle for relevance was on! Coming from the music business I always felt very much a part of things. Socially and artistically. When my health forced an early retirement out of me, I struggled to find the kind of social and artistic contribution that felt right. I owned my own esoteric bookstore, read tarot and the like, but couldn't make a living. Finally I settled on (for?) working in a chain bookstore and owning my own jewelry business. I have always kept one foot in the "biz" as many of my friends still work in it. Lately I have heard a lot of "wow you have been gone a looong time" and "you mean you don't know that band?" I struggle sometimes to feel like my cool points are being slowly stripped away. I still have lots of connections- but day jobbery often prevents me from hitting up gigs and playing nightly with pals. Being well connected doesn't mean I don't need creative recognition. It's a funny thing, when your friends are "noteworthy" it's harder than ever not to crave and creative recognition.

Age is a cruel master indeed. Recently a supervisor suggested it was time I start "acting my age." WTF does that mean? Dressing in granny jeans and letting my hair go gray? Listening to Michael Buble and wearing a fanny pack?

I firmly believe that you are as old as you act, so don't expect me to grow up anytime soon. I will keep pushing myself.
 The stories I tell here are not just memories, they are little lessons I have learned. Some beautiful, some embarrassing-all life changing. I hope the reader gets that. I don't want you all to think I am parading my life before your eyes for no reason. After all: I'm not dead yet!!

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away
In the end