Life intruding on life

[psylon]

It's been an interesting few weeks. First I blew the engine in my truck, but the hows and whys are a story best told later. Last week I got a pretty good dose of perspective. I walked out of a meeting and noticed the mountain side burning, but it was up in the range so I figured it was a bomb drop or something. Got back from lunch and there were 14 missed calls on my phone. The fire was from two F-18s that had crashed. I also heard they were from Lemoore, CA. Where, as it turns out, my brother flys F18s. So I spent the next hour and a half calling a hundred people trying to track him down. I'm not surprised, but it was amazing how insignificant and unimportant everything else became. My phone saga ended with good news, Ray was fine, but then it set in that someone else's day didn't end like mine. Two guys survived and one died. My parents came to California last weekend and we all went to the memorial service, he sounded like a great guy. Its easy to say that it comes with the job, that he died doing what he loved, doing his duty, defending the country and our freedom, but it seems like such small consolation sitting in that church. I'm not ashamed to say it, I'm selfish, I never want to go through what that guy's family must be going through, without Ray I'd be broken and hollow.

As with most other things that are emotionally powerful, it left me open to everything else that I usually shut out.

I'm 26, I should probably go ahead and deal with it.