(no subject)
Woke up this morning with the feeling of no point for existance again. Oh how I missed having this re-occuring feeling... not. Some days I really feel like I have no point in life. I work to buy useless shit I don't really even care about. Not only that but I've noticed I try to get others to smoke pot... and usually succeed over time. Just so that I can amuse myself with how someone else reacts to it. I'm really not benifical to society in my opinion. Not that I really care about society.
Without feeling like I make a difference to someone close to me... I just don't feel complete, or usefull at all for that matter.
As a whole though I still remain apathetic towards pretty much everything. I've hated life long enough that I've learnt to just not care. My life is going downhill again, but fuck it. Smoke some pot and then my brain shuts off towards the downside of life. I don't smoke pot because it's fun. That was never the reason except for one month in high school. I smoke pot because it makes me not give a shit about anything going on outside of the 2 foot surrounding area of myself.
What is my strongest mental attribute... Apathy. hahahaha. It's good in a way, but it can be shitty too.
Without feeling like I make a difference to someone close to me... I just don't feel complete, or usefull at all for that matter.
As a whole though I still remain apathetic towards pretty much everything. I've hated life long enough that I've learnt to just not care. My life is going downhill again, but fuck it. Smoke some pot and then my brain shuts off towards the downside of life. I don't smoke pot because it's fun. That was never the reason except for one month in high school. I smoke pot because it makes me not give a shit about anything going on outside of the 2 foot surrounding area of myself.
What is my strongest mental attribute... Apathy. hahahaha. It's good in a way, but it can be shitty too.