Twas the Night
This is what happended. I was watching the Johnny Bravo Christmas special "Twas the Night" when I thought, "It would be like so totally awesome if there were a transcript of this." I searched and searched, and when I got bored of that I had found not a one! So I taped the episode and wrote a transcript myself. And here it is. Merry Christmas to you.
...and I'll have you know I've worked very hard on this! So don't ever say I don't work on stuff.
Twas the Night
Story: Butch Hartman & Steve Marmel
Teleplay: Steve Marmel
Director: Rumen Petkov
Narrarated by Batman
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through Aron city
Not a creature was stirring, except Johnny.
[Johnny looking in mirrior: 'Man I'm pretty.']
Mama was sleeping, you could tell by the snoring
After four times today, Jimmy Stewart gets boring.
[Johnny plugs Mama's nostrils with corks; the words "It's a Wonderful Life" are on the television]
Johnny crept quietly, to bed's where he rushed
He would try to fall 'sleep now, while the whole town was hushed.
[Loud noise]
"What's that?" Johnny cried, "That's too big for a mouse!"
[Johnny jumps out the window to the roof ninja style]
"I was right! There's a crook on my house!"
A bag to steal goodies, a fake beard? How passé
And just look! By the gutter, "It's his get-away sleigh!"
And without second thought, and with nary a pause,
Johnny Bravo mistakenly clocked... Santa Claus.
Santa knew Johnny was good, but was smart as a gnat
He was protecting his mama; Santa couldn't fault that.
"Johnny, I'm angry about this no doubt
It's Christmas Eve, pinhead, and Santa's now out.
See Johnny, my arm's broke! My bag, I can't lift!
It's now up to you to give each kid a gift!"
"Me, doin' your job? How much does it pay?
Do I get to meet chicks? Can I cruise in the sleigh?"
"It's something you'll do for all good kids in bed
Now get in my outfit, or I'll bust your fat head!"
Santa's red coat is what Johnny would wear
And Santa's red hat took the shape of John's hair.
So Johnny jumped on the sleigh and flew through the night
But he never got any of the reindeer's names right.
"On Yeltzen! On Nixon! On.. Stinky? On Rose!
On--Hey, where's that freak with the big glowin' nose?"
[Cut to North Pole]
[Men in grey suits fire lasers at all angles]
[Suits: 'You heard the Grinch! Do not let that reindeer escape!']
[Rudolf powers up and fires lasers with his nose]
[Rudolf: 'I've got to get to Santa!']
So Johnny endeavored at Santa's request
To give each good one listed the gift they loved best.
To the mayor of Aron City, a new pair of shorts
So he's wearing clean undies when he robs and cavorts.
[Mayor's wife to mayor: 'You promised me no more cavorting!']
Little Susie fell asleep waiting for Old Saint Nick
Johnny spied out the cookies and ate them quite quick.
And he had to admit, as he saw Susie napping,
"Hey, that kid's kinda cute when her mouth isn't flapping."
Jungle Boy got a new loincloth. The Gorilla Girls? Mary Clay.
And a big lump of coal for the evil King Ray.
[Johnny: 'Sorry Magilla. Just following orders']
For Chronos the bear, who's prescise in his timing
A clock so specific, even he won't be whining.
And Scooby Dooby Doo didn't get Scooby Snacks
Santa's gift was more useful. "Sptheech Tharapby? Ranks!"
Johnny circled the globe in the span of one evening
Trying to match rightly the gifts he was leaving.
From Asia, To England, Guatemala, to Dunkirk
"How's Santa stay fat, man, this gig is hard work!"
At the end of the day, with but one gift to deliver,
Johnny realized something that just made him shiver.
"Aw man, did I blow it! What a dumb thing to do!
I gave Mama's gift to the wrong person, but the question is--Who?"
[Cut to city hall]
[The mayor's wife holds up a nightgown labeled "Bunny"]
[Mayor's wife: 'You're cavorting with some woman named Bunny! Admit it!']
[Mayor: 'Sweetie, I--']
Knowing no present would make Mama miff
Johnny expected the worst, but heard: "What a great gift!"
"It says it's from Santa, but I know very well
This big ring's from John-John, and it's real diamondelle*!"
And there, in the corner, in red and green wrapping
Was a present from Santa, despite Johnny attacking.
Two gifts for Johnny, will wonders never cease?
He got two boxing gloves, and a brand new mouth piece!
But attached was a note that filled Johnny with fear:
"Merry Christmas, you pinhead! Around 2 is next year."
The End
*(sp)
Transcripted by demonhuntersword[@]yahoo[.]com
Last edit: Nov. 29, 2006