Grumblings
OK, So I know this is going to be a bad entry even before I write it out. So why I am still doing this I don't know.
I guess I'm just tired. I'm tired of never hearing God talk to me, I'm tired of never feeling him around me. I'm just not happy. And its carrying over into other things too. I just did poorly on two of my tests at the grad level (my very first two ever) so thats kind of exciting in a horrible sort of way. I hate my one teacher because other people asked him questions about the test and he actually gave them responses and when I get up there to ask how to do something he looks at me and tells me that it should be in my notes and I should look there. Which is true it is in my notes...BUT I don't understand! why cant you just show me again? It made me really mad yesterday and I guess still today. I think this is why I'm angry at God right now. I'm frustrated and I feel like I talk to him, and talk to him and nothing ever comes from it. Its like I'm talking to the air and i don't get a response and its like no one is listening.
Its just not fair. My aunt gets God to talk to her all the time. she knew something bad was going to happen in the family and then the day before she knew that it was going to have to do with alcohol. God just talks to her. And I'm jealous. I know thats a horrible thing to be - jealous - but I can't help it!
I'm tired. Frustrated. Annoyed.
I ditched a party last night because I just wasn't in the mood and I get 4 calls from people wondering where I am. I'm glad people care, I just couldn't go out I was in a bad mood. I guess I still am.
I don't know what to do. I'm just frustrated with God, and life, and everything at this point.
On the plus side Will & Heather are getting married on Saturday, so I'll be able to get away for a while and just not deal with anything. (that'll be nice)
till I write again, hopefully next time it'll be slightly more joyous!
Eric
I guess I'm just tired. I'm tired of never hearing God talk to me, I'm tired of never feeling him around me. I'm just not happy. And its carrying over into other things too. I just did poorly on two of my tests at the grad level (my very first two ever) so thats kind of exciting in a horrible sort of way. I hate my one teacher because other people asked him questions about the test and he actually gave them responses and when I get up there to ask how to do something he looks at me and tells me that it should be in my notes and I should look there. Which is true it is in my notes...BUT I don't understand! why cant you just show me again? It made me really mad yesterday and I guess still today. I think this is why I'm angry at God right now. I'm frustrated and I feel like I talk to him, and talk to him and nothing ever comes from it. Its like I'm talking to the air and i don't get a response and its like no one is listening.
Its just not fair. My aunt gets God to talk to her all the time. she knew something bad was going to happen in the family and then the day before she knew that it was going to have to do with alcohol. God just talks to her. And I'm jealous. I know thats a horrible thing to be - jealous - but I can't help it!
I'm tired. Frustrated. Annoyed.
I ditched a party last night because I just wasn't in the mood and I get 4 calls from people wondering where I am. I'm glad people care, I just couldn't go out I was in a bad mood. I guess I still am.
I don't know what to do. I'm just frustrated with God, and life, and everything at this point.
On the plus side Will & Heather are getting married on Saturday, so I'll be able to get away for a while and just not deal with anything. (that'll be nice)
till I write again, hopefully next time it'll be slightly more joyous!
Eric