Why I'm burning in hell
How horrible it is to live in my shell of a mind. I seem to have an inability to be courteous to my mother, for I view being nice and abiding the rules of an "authority figure" as being weak. I would rather be an asshole than weak..and that is why..my relationship with my mother will never change. She is nice, I am evil. I am evil toward most, because I detest them..there are few that escape my bolts of hatred. I wish that I could be nice to my mother, but I want to do so without giving up power. I think calling people names puts them on a class below you, and that is why I do it. It is important to me, to be an object of success, and I don't care how many people I tromp on to get there. 98.5% of people are worthless in my mind.
I really do feel sorrow for my mother..a woman as nice as her should not have to deal with a child like me. If I followed under her though..she would think of me as less of a person.
I should at least stop calling her evil names and words, but I don't know if I want to fight against myself that hard to stop what is already automatic.
I feel very sick from guilt.
I really do feel sorrow for my mother..a woman as nice as her should not have to deal with a child like me. If I followed under her though..she would think of me as less of a person.
I should at least stop calling her evil names and words, but I don't know if I want to fight against myself that hard to stop what is already automatic.
I feel very sick from guilt.