*insert ur diagnoses of the Mental DisorderLY Opinion of the Day here*
My problem perhaps is logic. Analysis. Why do tears rolling down skin burn worse and worse as I age?
I'm pretty sure my brief stint a few years back fried the creative areas of the right hemisphere...leaving only intuition intact.
I remember reading about two yrs ago a new study proves you can regrow brain cells. This came as a relief when I started having episodes soon after my stint that I can only compare to what is described as dementia, despite my age and health otherwise. I feel at this age to use that word i would be labeled a hyperchondriac, but for the sake of simplicity I will refer to it as that. Anyways...I became obsessed with brain and memory games via android and activity books. I'd always enjoyed crosswords. After all, use it or lose it. It seems to have helped some. I think I regrew on the wrong side though (hopefully u hear my humorous tone). Perhaps I should have spent time drawing more. Writing again. Painting.
I must have overpopulated the left hemisphere. Perhaps I can chaulk it up to my situation and career. Maybe not. I'm compulsive with cleaning now. Not to where its noticable to others, but to where I CANT neglect things once they come to my attention. Perhaps its a spacial thing. I clean up after myself, but now I feel I'm cleaning up after a bratty five yr old constantly. If i dont do it, it most likely wont be done. It will be "my fault". I feel I'm the only one trying to take care of things I own and make them last as though brand new (thanks mom for bestowing me with some OCD in this area I will never be able to drop, yet surrounded by a disposable society of ppl that just don't give a fuck and take everything for granted) perhaps its my job where the fate of a business rests on my shoulders and I'm expected to maintain order and balance. (Have i sold my inner peace ?) Perhaps its logic. Im not sure anymore if its society, hardcore OCD or I just over analyze EVERYTHING these days. Maybe its sobriety and a newfound awareness. Perhaps....perhaps...perhaps...
I'd like to say the majority of society is just fucked up nowadays in its morals, beliefs, perspectives, priorites... how narcissistic of me! I can't claim that says logic. Logic says its me. You are the minority. You must be what's wrong. Your thinking is wrong! I'm the fucking backwards one. But then logic says no, this is the PROPER way! You feel it in the core of your being. It harms none. Its the most time efficient. Its cost efficient. Its fair. Its the most beneficial in the long run. It can't be society...ur the freak my brain argues!
Aghhh its a fucking war zone. I appear calm and yet my heart is in chaos, my head is in chaos, they are hand in hand. I appear calm but the adrenaline is coursing thru like rapids. Never a rest. Hope for the best prepare for the worst... doomed. Doooooomed I tell you!
I'm pretty sure my brief stint a few years back fried the creative areas of the right hemisphere...leaving only intuition intact.
I remember reading about two yrs ago a new study proves you can regrow brain cells. This came as a relief when I started having episodes soon after my stint that I can only compare to what is described as dementia, despite my age and health otherwise. I feel at this age to use that word i would be labeled a hyperchondriac, but for the sake of simplicity I will refer to it as that. Anyways...I became obsessed with brain and memory games via android and activity books. I'd always enjoyed crosswords. After all, use it or lose it. It seems to have helped some. I think I regrew on the wrong side though (hopefully u hear my humorous tone). Perhaps I should have spent time drawing more. Writing again. Painting.
I must have overpopulated the left hemisphere. Perhaps I can chaulk it up to my situation and career. Maybe not. I'm compulsive with cleaning now. Not to where its noticable to others, but to where I CANT neglect things once they come to my attention. Perhaps its a spacial thing. I clean up after myself, but now I feel I'm cleaning up after a bratty five yr old constantly. If i dont do it, it most likely wont be done. It will be "my fault". I feel I'm the only one trying to take care of things I own and make them last as though brand new (thanks mom for bestowing me with some OCD in this area I will never be able to drop, yet surrounded by a disposable society of ppl that just don't give a fuck and take everything for granted) perhaps its my job where the fate of a business rests on my shoulders and I'm expected to maintain order and balance. (Have i sold my inner peace ?) Perhaps its logic. Im not sure anymore if its society, hardcore OCD or I just over analyze EVERYTHING these days. Maybe its sobriety and a newfound awareness. Perhaps....perhaps...perhaps...
I'd like to say the majority of society is just fucked up nowadays in its morals, beliefs, perspectives, priorites... how narcissistic of me! I can't claim that says logic. Logic says its me. You are the minority. You must be what's wrong. Your thinking is wrong! I'm the fucking backwards one. But then logic says no, this is the PROPER way! You feel it in the core of your being. It harms none. Its the most time efficient. Its cost efficient. Its fair. Its the most beneficial in the long run. It can't be society...ur the freak my brain argues!
Aghhh its a fucking war zone. I appear calm and yet my heart is in chaos, my head is in chaos, they are hand in hand. I appear calm but the adrenaline is coursing thru like rapids. Never a rest. Hope for the best prepare for the worst... doomed. Doooooomed I tell you!