(no subject)

[psychotikbitch]

i want a cigarette
two months
twenty days.

i want to shut my phone off
delete myspace
turn off aim

i am okay?
i need medication to sleep forever

make art
smell of spray paint
cover myself in colors

victim of body snatching?

a coma
four years
awaken with amnesia

still taste that last cigarette
dont ever want to brush my teeth
remember the perfection of that last true high
feel the heat of those summer days
smell his scent of mold and marijuana
restless legs for those long walks

i crave to film

leaves in my hair with hints of blue
naps beneath the stars in the woods

drum beat of a hundred strangers flows through me
its all in a backpack

lets know everyone again
and yet no one
know everything again
and need no help

care for everyone
smile for real
not feel out of place

i came back here
for what
for me?
where the fuck am i

i hate you
i hate what you have done to me
give me back